Adventures in Avernum
by BravoBrokehoof
Summary: Long ago, exiles of the Empire, banded together and forged their own subterranean society and kingdom named Avernum. When a portal is discovered in modern times, a modern man is teleported to their world. His quest to escape, soon becomes an adventure that not only shapes his life, but the future of Avernum. Fanfiction based on the Exile/Avernum series by Spiderweb Software.
1. Foreword

ADVENTURES IN AVERNUM

Chapter 0: Foreword

I'd like to start off by giving you, the reader, a huge 'thank you' for choosing to read this fanfiction. It is a project that has been in my head for over a decade now and I'm finally getting it down on paper so to speak. So from the bottom of my heart, thanks a bunch.

Adventures in Avernum is based off of a video game series by Spiderweb Software. The premise of these games was an RPG in which you play a party of characters who are exiled and imprisoned into a deep system of underground caverns and caves to live among other exiles for the rest of their lives. Together, the exiles formed their own society and kingdom in which they name Avernum. As the story progresses within the series, the players are divulged into a series of engaging encounters. There are wars waged, monsters around every corner anxious to eat you up, and various races and characters that make this adventure anything but ordinary. The storylines of the original trilogy of games seemed to have a way of pulling the player into the games unique environment. Never thought I'd enjoy playing an RPG that takes place in a set of mystical caves, but yet, here I am writing a fanfiction based on it.

Speaking of the fanfiction, I am following the history of the original trilogy and throwing my own twist on it. I do realize that parts of the story aren't in real canon with the full history of the series, but I never played the fourth and fifth and sixth installments as they were not out when the story first came to mind. Only the original Exile series was out at the time, so please keep that in mind as you read. The story will be told by a modern American man who is accidently teleported to Avernum when an Avernite portal is discovered in an ancient dig site. The time period takes place several years after the third game has ended. Several important events have happened between the third game and our protagonist's arrival. Our hero will begin a quest to find a way back to the surface, similar to the plot of the first game. In tradition with classic RPG's, our protagonist will be joined by a party of other characters, each with their own set of skills, traits, and specialties. As you can imagine, the road back home will be littered with twists, turns, and terrible monsters to keep our party on its toes.

Now for those who are scratching your head as to why I'd incorporate a character from our world and time into the ancient world of Avernum as it might ruin the feel of the original games or not make any sense, well I have a few reasons as to why I'm doing this. Firstly, a lot of people have already done a lot of retelling of the game's plot, storylines, and characters. I didn't want to do that. I truly wanted to do something more original and something that might want fans to keep reading to find out where this story is heading and what will happen next. Secondly, the protagonist is pretty much me and how I was when starting the game the first time. I wanted to relive those feelings of being a stranger in a strange environment through a character who is smart in his own world, but clueless within this new world. I wanted the hero to be the living embodiment of the classic question gamers ask themselves sometimes; "how would I do in this scenario?"

I'd really like to take a little time to thank a few people. First off, thanks Jeff Vogel and Spiderweb Software for creating a wonderful and original game to write a fanfiction to. I also want to thank my mate, my family, my friends for supporting me and cheering me on back into writing. I especially want to thank my friend Vine who has been kicking my butt to write this and has been my editor on this project. Also, Zecon, another wonderful friend, has done some artwork to keep me inspired and to keep dreaming.

With all of the pleasantries now in place there is nothing more than to invite you to continue on and read the first official chapter of the story. Thanks again.

STORY BEGINS ON CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 1 -- Welcome to Avernum

ADVENTURES IN AVERNUM

Chapter 1: Welcome to Avernum

Wow. If you have found this manuscript and are actually reading it, then you are in for a whole boatload of crazy stories. What you have before you is a complete set of misadventures that I, Joseph Robert Smith, had not all that long ago in a time…well…er…place that felt like it was from a time long, long ago. You, my dear reader or readers (whatever the case may be), are in for a set of tall tales that'll make you laugh, make you cry, and may make you want to curl up into a ball and suck your thumb and call your mother. As a suggestion, I'd grab a favorite blanket, sit in a nice comfy chair, have a drink of choice in hand, and buckle your safety belt. Without much more introduction, let's dive in shall we?

Before my entire life was completely flipped on its head, I used to live a pretty boring life. Well, I guess it could be more boring. I could be flipping burgers or pumping gas for as a career and living with my mother until I was 40, but I digress. I was actually considered a gifted individual by many. Grew up with an IQ of 155 and eventually graduated from Harvard University with Honors at the top of my class. Yes, usually Harvard graduates usually escape the prison of the education system to become lawyers or professors, but I had a different vision. I wanted to go out into the world and unlock secrets that have not yet been solved in modern civilization. Seven world wonders? I wanted to find an eleventh. The government must have seen my vision as they recruited me to become an agent for the Federal Bureau of Research and Development, or FBRaD as we have been known to call it.

Don't get too dragged into the fanciness of that title. Most of the time I'm sitting behind a desk and looking through new designs to old secrets that conspiracy theorists already knew this country had in some old silo in Kentucky. My job is to file the records in usual way, alphabetical order and from dangerous to apocalyptic. It is truly boring. Always felt like my talents could be used in a more constructive manner.

Now, if I had Jennie McLugger's job, I wouldn't complain so much. She's the building's mail clerk. I envied her so much. I'd love to have a job pushing around a cart and throwing mail at other employees. I would have been tossing envelopes Japanese shuriken style. Jennie also graduated from my class at Harvard. Didn't know her well back then, but over the last few years, we seemed to have a mutual understanding of one another. I could tell she could probably get a higher position within the bureau, but she seems to enjoy her job. Normally, one would say that she was my best friend at work, but she was the only person I'd truly call a friend.

Have I mentioned that I have hyperactivity yet? In case I haven't yet spoken of it, I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age. Not many can truly understand the pain and hardship that is taking a pill to prevent me from getting up and running around the classroom. I've definitely seen my share of principals' offices and detentions as a child growing up. Though it's truly not a feat to be proud of, I do admit I wear those experiences as a badge of honor. But I digress and back to the story.

It was another day of spinning around in my office chair and wishing I was somewhere else. The usual shit was going on. A pile of folders was placed on my desk for me to sort through. I already completed about half the workload in the first hour, before I began playing pencil darts at the office wall for the next two. "This is so boring." I was thinking aloud to myself, "Why don't they give me something worth my while yet." I stared out the window a bit. It was a beautiful day. The sun shined nicely through the window with an occasional fluffy cloud flowing past it causing a shadow here and there. I began to spin in my chair once again and picked up a folder from the pile and opened it up. Big surprise! Another design for a rail gun! This time it was smaller and more deadly than its predecessors. "What kinds of mad scientists do we have working in our government facilities? I'm just glad they're on our side." I sighed and pushed off the desk to roll myself towards the file cabinet while my fanny was still planted in the office chair. I've done this lazy maneuver several times in my past with the bureau. Perhaps, this time I should've paid more attention to what I was doing. A wheel got caught on a stubborn part of the carpet which toppled my seat backwards. This in turn catapulted me heels over head into the wall behind me. Ouch! About that time, Jennie burst into the room. She apparently heard the commotion while on route for a few desk deliveries.

"Joe!" She says rather loudly, "Are you okay? I heard a loud bang."

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I rubbed the back of my head amongst the flurry of confidential paperwork gently floating their way to the ground around me. "Damn chair." Still on the ground, I start to pick up the documents around me.

"Good thing you have such a hard head, Joe." Jennie gave herself a quick chuckle. The chuckle quickly changed to a gasp. "Or…not such a good thing you have such a hard head. Joe, look behind you!" I stopped picking up paperwork for a few moments to look towards where Jennie had pointed a finger. The contact point where my cranium collided against the wall had left a nasty dent in it. (My head was fine, thanks for asking.) Jennie commented again. "Better hope the boss doesn't see that. Or say goodbye to half of your paycheck, Einstein." This was a silly nickname she called me since I was merely a few points shy of his IQ. I looked around the room and quickly formulated a plan.

"Jennie." I said as I picked up a few more pieces of paper from the floor from just in front of the file cabinet. "Stand guard and tell me if someone important is coming." She nodded and peeked her head out the door. "See anyone?"

"No one…just the boss" She chuckled. About this time my eyes had to have been as big as tea saucers.

"I think he qualifies as important. Shit!" I say as I huffed and puffed and began to push the file cabinet over a few inches. "Stall him for me." Before I could finish the last words of this sentence, she was already out the door. I couldn't hear the exact conversation that was taking place but I could tell she was asking if there was anything she could do for him. Perhaps offering coffee or maybe even offering to iron his shirt. The only thing I knew for sure was that her stalling wasn't buying me much time as their voices were still approaching my direction. I had just blocked the hole from view with the file cabinet, but he'd still know something was up. As I grabbed the framed copy of my diploma to move it over a few inches, so that the cabinet didn't stick out like a sore thumb, I overheard more of the stall tactics.

"Are you sure you don't want some coffee, sir?" Jennie asked the boss as her back was now visible through the threshold of my door.

"For the third time, Ms. McLugger, I don't want any coffee." I could tell my boss's voice was already agitated. His voice always had a growly holier-than-thou tone quality to it, but if he sees my hole in the wall, it was going to be worse…much worse. He tried to step around her to enter the room. I quickly looked around the room to make sure it looked perfect. Oh no! There were still confidential papers on the floor! Jennie quickly threw her arm across the door.

"Where did you get that tie, sir? It looks…hmmmm…what's the word?" She smiled as she continued to attempt to distract our boss. The boss's voice continued to grow more gruff.

"It was a gift from my wife and I absolutely hate it. Now step aside, McLugger." He gave her an intimidating glance. She released her arm just in time for me to pick up the files. "Mr. Smith! What are you and Ms. McLugger doing?"

"I don't know about Jennie, Mr. Tipton." I smirked as I was leaned against the file cabinet as if I was there reading the files the whole time. "I do know that I am reading through the files you gave me, sir." Mr. Tipton growled. Gregory Andrew Tipton was his full name. He used to be part of the FBI for a decade and a half before making a transition to leading desk jockeys like me at the FBRAD. He wasn't overly tall. I'm thinking he was about 5 foot 5 at most. He was quite a bit out of shape too. Since his time away from being in the field as a top agent with the FBI, he gained at least 100 pounds and lost most of his hair. He waddled into the room in the usual business attire consisting of a grey suit jacket, matching pants, and American Flag printed tie. He cold brown eyes stared into my own as if he was trying to be a human lie detector.

"The paper you're reading is upside down, Smith." He growled lowly.

"I meant to do that, sir." I chuckled and smiled and sat down at my chair. "I wanted to see it from a different angle. You'll be surprised what you see. You should try it, sir."

"Save it." He wasn't buying the story I was trying to sell him. "Something is going on. You two are always into something." I shot a glance at Jennie who shot the same expression of innocence back at me. "Now tell me what you two are up to?" Mr. Tipton demanded as he shot us both a glance.

"Up to?" I smiled as I put the folder on my desk. "I think Jennie is up to 5 foot 6 now while I'm nearly up to 6 feet. I don't know I'm still a growing boy."

"That's enough, Smith." He shook his head and sighed, then removed his glasses to wipe them. "I'm not here for your dribble." At this time I noticed another file under his arm. I stood up from my desk like a lion that just spotted prey. If Mr. Tipton is hand delivering me a file it must be of high importance. I held out my hand as he placed the folder within its grasp. I quickly opened it and began sifting through the pages of handwritten notes. "We have a situation in the lab, Smith. We reviewed your skill set and interests. We at the Bureau believe that it's a mystery that you are fully capable of solving. Mr. Smith…" He said in a dramatic pause as my eyes looked up to lock with his, before he continued his statement, "…it's your first live case. It's your moment to do what you've always wanted to do in life."

"Yes sir!" I saluted as he nodded. If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn I saw Mr. Tipton actually smile at me. What a day this was going to turn out to be. "Mr. Tipton?"

"Yes, Mr. Smith?" He responded as I came around the desk to stand near him.

"Does this mean I can pick a partner to work with?" I asked angelically, though the boss new better.

"Yes, Smith. You and McLugger can work together." He sighed. "You two just get the lab within the hour." I couldn't help myself. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him and rested my head on his shoulder, like a child who just got a prized toy on Christmas morning.

"You're the greatest." I laughed out loud. "I didn't even have to ask. You know me so well. I'm never letting go!" The boss cleared his throat and scowled at me. "Aaaaaand…I'm letting go." I released my hug and continued to smile innocently at him. He walked out of the office and as he was leaving the office he left one last request.

"And for God's sake, Smith, please stop putting holes in my walls." With that he disappeared down the hall.

Jennie and I looked at each other and gave each other a high five. Our first live case was here and we couldn't be happier.

An hour later, we traded our suit jackets for lab coats and joined other full-time lab technicians where our project laid before us on a table. It was an impressive looking stone structure that looked like an ancient doorframe and threshold. Of course, it was missing a door portion of it. But etched around the stone face of the structure were several eerie markings that were anything but English. I was a bit confused though. The real question is why a simple, yet large, artifact would be brought here instead of a museum. Luckily, Mr. Tipton was there to fill us in on a few details he was given.

"I'm sure you are wondering why this ancient artifact is here." The big boss spoke up as he adjusted his glasses. In his hand was a hard copy of the known data on the subject. "It was found in a recent dig site in Peru. Apparently it was buried by multiple landslides over the last century or two. It is strange that the artifact appears to be 100% intact, but stranger still is that this structure appears to generate a magnetic field on its own. Radio frequencies and electronic displays temporarily become disabled for a few minutes at a time when placed within a radius of a few feet of the artifact."

"Does this artifact contain any metal or anything that can be naturally magnetic like hematite?" Jennie asked out of curiosity. The boss simply shook his head and read a few more lines from his manuscripts.

"Some samples were taken from the surface of the structure. All tests came back negative for any naturally magnetic substances and it appears to be made mostly from common granite. It is highly inconclusive as to what is generating the field and for what purpose. It was brought here out of fear that it could be an ancient prototype for a weapon or a technology that could be used as a weapon."

"What about these?" I stood in front of the magnificent artifact and pointed as some etchings I noticed a few minutes earlier. I could tell I had a special twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face. These kinds of mysteries are what I've always dreamed about solving. Languages and codes, above all, are my favorite types of mysteries. "Has anyone figured out what these are for yet?" I was secretly hoping Mr. Tipton would say no. I gave the big stone…um…thing a few pats, similar to how one pets a dog. My hand had a strange tingling, but I brushed it off.

"No." The boss said while shaking his head. "Our top researchers have taken a few swings to try to decode the glyphs, but sadly no one has ever seen this language before. This is why we gave this case to you. You study languages in your free time and might be able to give some insight as to what is inscribed and what it means in regards to the artifact." About this time I didn't hesitate. I had a fever for knowledge that I wanted to cure by getting to the bottom of this mystery as soon as possible. Getting a fistful of wires and electrodes, I preceded to place them into a few nearby computers and readers. Grabbing a nearby roll of electrical tape, I ripped off a few strips and placed the ends of the electrodes against the middle of them. I strutted my way to the structure and shot a wink to Jennie. She shook her head and laughed. Mr. Tipton shot a glance at me and then to Jennie. "Should I be worried, McLugger?"

"I would be." She said forwardly. "Joe seems eager to do something. I'd keep an extinguisher handy if I were you."

"Mr. Smith…" The boss interjected in concern. It was too late.

"I have a good idea, Jennie." I smiled menacingly. "I've got a good feeling about this." About that time, I stuck an active electrode onto the artifact. Upon contact, the lab was greeted with a few sparks and an instant brown out of power. Screams of a few of the lab workers echoed the room as the lights and power went out. "Ooopsie!" I chuckled in the darkness.

"Joe! What have you done!?" Jennie yelled out.

"Give it a second. I'm sure everything will return in a few moments." A few moments later and the screens and lights turned back on. During the moment of power outage I had already placed the remainder of the electrodes on the artifact in several different places.

"Mr. Smith. How did you know the backup power would not be affected and would come on in that exact moment?" My boss looked at me with intent curiosity.

"That's not the backup generators, sir." I corrected. "It is the main power that is still on. Besides, you told us that this would happen."

"I did what?" I could see he missed the clue that he dropped for me about the hazards of the device.

"You sure did." I smiled. "You said that the artifact generated a magnetic field and would disrupt any radio or electronic frequencies for a few minutes at times. And the fact that the device got here and that the lights were on in the room when we arrived meant that it only disrupts frequencies for a few moments before things return back to normal. I then took the moment of the brown out to attach the other electrodes as to not have another brown out. If my theory is correct, the device seems to disrupt any electrical or magnetic device that it hasn't adapted to."

"How did you come up with that theory, Mr. Smith?" Mr. Tipton removed his glasses and gave them a quick wipe. I simply shrugged and smiled. I only got a scowl in return…how ungrateful.

"It was a gut feeling." I turned to a nearby worker seated behind a monitor. From her facial expression I could see that she was diving deep into new data she received on her screen. "Are the electrodes reading anything yet?"

"We are getting quite a bit of data, Agent Smith." The fellow worker said while adjusting her glasses. "I can confirm that this structure is somehow generating its own electrical current to produce a minor magnetic field."

"Excellent!" I said placing a hand on her shoulder and gave a wink. "And please call me, Joe." I could see Jennie roll her eyes in the corner of my peripheral vision. "What?" I chuckled and shrugged and approached my friend.

"Oh…nothing…" Jennie said while she put a hand on my shoulder and winked just as I did a moment before.

"Smith, McLugger, if you two are done being children, I'll be off to do some paperwork." The boss said shaking his head while exiting the lab. He turned around for a quick moment to deliver a quick warning. "And before I forget, don't blow up my lab."

"Awwww…not even a teensy weensy tiny little boom?" I whined jokingly, but it fell on deaf ears as he was well out of view. I sighed and smiled and turned back to face my project. Jennie smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"So, Agent Joseph Robert Smith, are you ready to continue to wreak havoc upon this lab?" She smiled.

"As if you would even have to ask, Agent Jennie McLugger." I winked and shot her a smile before continuing my work. Little did we know that this would be the most excitement we would get for the next few hours. We were successful in discovering the magnitude of the magnetic field generated by the object as well as its surface temperature and other boring statistics. Sadly, our progress quickly came to a standstill.

A few hours later, I was spinning in my chair again, as I always do when bored, and let's face it, this first case was really boring at this point. I dove a bit into a daydream to ease my mind a bit. I saw myself in a lush green field under a light blue sky. Clouds flowed by slowly in front of the sun, littering the ground with shadows here and there. The stone relic from the lab stood in front of me. I began to walk around the structure to inspect it. My hands examined and felt every bump and cranny of its rocky form. I paid extra attention to the etchings within it. The various symbols etched into the stone continued to vex me. It was almost like they were taunting me. I know I've seen each of the characters somewhere in my independent studies of various cultures. It is true that I've seen a few as astrological symbols, but in the scheme of things, it didn't seem to make sense here. During my dream I heard someone in the lab humming a song. Couldn't think of the name of the song or the lyrics, but while still in my dream, I saw the artifact react a bit. The glyphs began to glow one by one. I wasn't sure but I thought I heard a hushed voice whispering what sounded like ancient names of metals and minerals. Was I making a connection? What was the name of that song and why does it feel like it holds relevance? I stared at the mysterious antique as it continued to generate a glow as the song continued. I snapped out of my dream thinking I had figured something out. I looked around the room and saw Jennie flipping through Google on her computer and humming the song.

"Jennie!" I yelled out as I stood up from my station. She almost fell out of the chair.

"Joe! Was that necessary!?" She screamed as she picked herself up.

"Hum that song again!" I demanded as I stood next to her.

"What song?" She looked confused. I shot her a hard glance. That seemed to do the trick as her memory seemed to recover. "Oh, you mean this?" She began to hum the song again. In my excitement I slapped the table. Jennie again jumped out of her seat. "Joe! Stop that!"

"Jennie, I need to know the name to that song."

"It's the Element Song by Tom Lehrer." Jennie said with a cocked eyebrow. She began to type on her computer as the full song began to play through her computer's speakers.

The song echoed in my ears as I made my way back to the curious architecture and began studying the etchings again. With each element on the periodic table was sung out, it struck a chord on this mystery. I think I now knew what these markings were!

"Jennie! This is a recipe for alchemy!" I was elated as I leapt over tables to get back to my computer. I began to furiously pound my fingers into the keyboard to make notes of all the elements I heard listed from my dream. I then shot up from the table and got the attention of the full team of workers. "Attention! I need everyone's attention! We need to get our hands on a few raw elements and scales and other chemistry equipment! Everyone go!" With that we all scattered like rats building a nest.

"Joe! How can you be so sure about this? Not even the top researchers could decipher this." Jennie asked in a mix of shock and confusion as to my sudden epiphany.

"It's an educated guess." I said as I began clearing tables for unheard of science experiments. "I just had a real vivid dream about it."

"You had WHAT!? You are having us do ALCHEMY, an ancient form of chemistry in which mankind hasn't truly touched in centuries with good reason, all because you had a dream!?" A flabbergasted Jennie exclaimed.

"Since you put it that way…YES!" I responded. I'm sure the looks in my eyes and the twisted smile I must have been wearing only made me look more crazed than normal. But, this was everything I have ever wanted in life and it's starting to blossom in front of my eyes.

"You're insane, Joe. You know that right?" Normally people don't sound so serious when they ask this all too popular question, but I could tell Jennie was dead serious.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and shot her a confident smirk. "Trust me I know. But the question is…do you trust me?" Jennie looked away and gave out a sigh before looking me in my eyes once more and nodding.

"I guess I'll get the fire extinguisher." She laughed and walked away.

"That's my girl." I said as I continued the preparations.

An hour or so afterwards, the lab was bustling with movement. Chemicals consisting of elements in various beakers and flasks were being boiled, mixed, distilled, and congealed. At this point, I've never done anything with alchemy. In fact, I've never seen it done, nor expected to ever see it done. I'm pretty sure that it is probably dangerous and should only be attempted by true professionals. The same thing was said about running with scissors, but I did that too.

"Is everyone ready?" I asked grabbing a few of the corked flasks of various elements and looked around the room as many of the team were either by the artifact with more elements in hand or standing reading by the computer monitors. They all nodded and prepared for craziness that could erupt once the ingredients are put together. "And Jennie is the class D fire extinguisher at the ready?" I turned to my comrade who was holding the large red extinguisher. This could cause an inferno of epic proportions, so it is best to be prepared.

"Yessir, Joe." She placed a hand on the pin just in case a quick response is required. Though her hand was trembling, I saw a smile on her face. I could tell she was enjoying herself on this case. I smiled back at her and nodded and stepped up to the strange relic and prepared to mix the elements together.

"Okay…everyone…on your mark…get set...STOP!" At this moment, I noticed more etchings on the structure. These were different and definitely not relating to alchemy.

"What's wrong, Joe?" Jennie questioned in curiosity. I shook my head as I studied the lines and intersecting dashes. I looked like a tally system, but a large number wouldn't make sense at the point in time. The etching had to be a word.

"One second, Jennie. I have a hunch there is a bit more to this structure." I took a few deep breaths and went back into my daydream for a few moments. I couldn't explain it, but this method seemed to be working for me. As I fell into my own dreams again, I was again standing in the field with the relic in front of me. The alchemic runes were glowing shades of yellow and red while the etchings at the base remain static. I placed my hand upon it again, letting my fingers feel the impressions left within the stone. I began to hear the hushed disembodied voice again saying some gibberish. As the voice was whispering the same word again and again and again, the dashes and lines began to float and glow. Soon, they swapped around a bit and I saw a word in front of me. Then, BAM, I was snapped back out of the dream by reality…and Jennie's palm to my forehead. I gave a quick smile to my counterpart and spoke. "What if I told you that I think this relic might actually have a password?"

"I'd say you were beyond insane." She shrugged and sighed.

"Good, 'cause I might be beyond insane with a beyond insane idea." I chuckled and made my way back over to the other team members. I saw Jennie sigh once again and mutter to herself.

"You seriously don't think this thing will respond to your voice do you?" Jennie looked a little more concerned now.

"It may. It may not. There is only one way to find out and that is to try." I began to uncork my flasks and saw everyone else follow suit. Jennie once again had her hand on the pin of the fire extinguisher. "Okay everyone…POUR!" On that command we all poured all our ingredients together. Thank goodness there wasn't an explosion, just some minor crackling and fizzing and smoking. I wiped some sweat from my brow and struck a match and tossed the flame into the mixture. There was big burst of light as a decent sized flame erupted. The fire danced a little before subsiding a little. I licked my lips a bit and cleared my throat to get ready to say what I saw transcribed on the stone. " _D_ _eoraíocht_!" I spoke out loudly. The air in the room stood still as everyone was waiting to see if the improbable was about to happen in front of their eyes. A pin drop could have been heard miles away in all of this silence. The lull was then broken by laughter and ridicule. I must have been stupid to think that that would have worked. I turned around and sulked back to my seat to rethink about my approach to this case. "Well, that su…" I began to say with a shrug.

 _ **KABOOM**_! There was a sudden wave of sound and energy that surged the room. Everyone ducked and fell over from the sudden shock. The lights flickered and flashed and eventually blacked out. Even with the sudden chaos and darkness, there was a red glow within the room as the ancient stone relic had some sort of fiery substance floating within its confines. It truly looked like something out of a Syfy Channel movie. The mysterious substance crackled like a campfire, yet it had a soft rippling and waving motion similar to a calm river in a summer rain. It appeared to actually be rather stable and self-contained. The monitors and lights flickered once again before turning on completely. It was very fortunate that nothing appeared to be broken. I truly would hate to have had to look for another job from this fiasco. There was a big murmur of groans and moans from lab workers pushing themselves off the ground or from under the desk. Many were gasping and questioning their vision at the results of our attempt at alchemy.

"Is everyone alright?" I asked and looked around the room. I walked toward the artifact once more and studied it again. It crackled softly and continued to appear benign. I then noticed something about the substance floating in the middle. For a substance that almost appeared to be made out of fire, it wasn't giving off much heat. "Does anybody have a reading on the temperature?"

A lab worker adjusted her glasses and tapped the keyboard a bit. "It appears to be stabilized at 76 degrees Fahrenheit."

"That isn't hot at all. In fact that is colder than the human body." I puzzled to myself to figure out the need for such lengths such as alchemy and passwords.

"What do you think it is?" Jennie stood next to me with the same inquisitive look in her eyes.

"I wish I knew." I simply shrugged in response. "But, I do have a few experiments I want to try."

"Smith…McLugger…what is going on in here and what is that?" Mr. Tipton barged into the room with a few other curious bystanders. He pointed in the direction of the red glow. It let out a slight crackle almost as if it was letting out an awkward 'hello' to my boss.

"What you are seeing is our current case after a tad experiment with alchemy." I gave him the same mischievous smile as always. I heard him nearly choke on his spit when I responded.

"A-a-alchemy?" He stuttered.

"Why y-y-yes." I responded in the same stutter.

"Don't forget about the magic word, Joe." Jennie jumped into the conversation with the same mischievous look. Love it when the two of us get this way to torture Mr. Tipton. At this point he looked like he was going to mentally implode from confusion. I guess I can see things from his position. I mean alchemy and magic words aren't necessarily common place nowadays and technically shouldn't exist.

"Mr. Tipton, I'm sure this is a lot to take in right now. But I think we have something life changing here." I tapped his shoulder with a smile to comfort his mind a bit. "Though we aren't sure to what magnitude as we still don't know exactly what it is." I turned to the lab once more. "Anybody have anything I can throw. Preferably something that can be replaced and will not be missed to awfully bad?"

At this point a lab worker handed me a ceramic coffee mug. A sly smirk shown on her face as she mentioned that it was from an ex-fiancée of hers. I smiled and gripped it tight. "Everybody brace yourselves and stand back. Fire in the hole in 3…2…1!" I threw the mug into the center of the fiery fluid. There was a sudden flash of light and a little dimming of the lights and monitors around us, but normalcy within seconds. I walked to the back of the relic and saw something strange. There were no signs of the mug being intact, nor signs of the mug being burnt or destroyed. It was now time for a second experiment.

Jennie walked over a few minutes later after borrowing a broom from the janitor's closet. We both held on to the stick tightly.

"Ready, partner?" I smiled. Jennie nodded and soon we both plunged the stick deep into the center of the glowing texture. Again, the artifact reacted with light and magnetic pulses that disturbed electronics surrounding us. Something began to happen that wasn't in my calculations. We were beginning to be pulled in like fish on a line by the substance. Our feet began to slide and drag on the floor as we struggled against its sheer force. Luckily, others jumped in to help us remove the broomstick from being completely sucked in.

"What was the point of that, Agent Smith!?" Mr. Tipton looked down upon me. His glasses reflected the light, but I'm sure those eyes were cold and angry. "You could have hurt yourself!"

I simply smiled. "Look at the tip of the broomstick." Even with the stick being fully purged into the mysterious texture, it was left perfectly intact. Not even a scratch could be seen on it.

At this point, I'm pretty sure you all are starting to wonder…what does all of this mean? What does any of this have to do any kind of adventure story? Keep patient and by all means keep reading. It'll all make sense soon enough.

Mr. Tipton wiped his glasses and shook his head in confusion. "I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, Mr. Smith."

"I wouldn't expect a brain like yours to." I said as I rustled through a few wires to look for a long fiber optic camera.

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?" He barked in anger.

"I meant that in the upmost respect. Your brain is hardwired for facts, figures, and stats." I began to explain as to ease his rage. "You see things as they are. I see things as to what they can become or be created to do or what secrets they can hold. I believe we are dealing with something that mankind has been seeking to accomplish for centuries."

"I think I have what you are looking for, Joe." Jennie held the long serpentine camera in hand.

"You are so perfect, my dear partner." I walked over and took the camera from her and kissed her cheek with an overly phonetic 'MWAH!'. Over the time that we worked together, Jennie and I developed a near psychic bond. Without saying words, we seem to almost know what each other are thinking and can even complete each other's sentences. She gave me a slap on the rear as I connected the camera to a monitor.

"Do I need to remind you two about our code of conduct?" Our boss said under his breath.

"Don't worry we broke that long ago." I blurted out as I tossed the camera through the center of the mysterious liquid like mass of the relic. After the expected loss and surge of power as the camera made contact, the cable portion of the camera pulled taught as the alchemic substance pulled it within itself.

"Sir!" A lab worker called out in excitement. "We have a visual!" We made a mass exodus around the monitor as a picture changed from static to near darkness.

"Or maybe not." Jennie said under her breath. I could tell she was very disappointed by the lack of image on the screen. I on the other hand wasn't convinced that it was a camera error.

"Is there a way to change the image into infrared?" I asked. The worker nodded and tapped a few keys and soon the image was changed to where it could see in the dark. This time, the screen showed more than just darkness. But sadly what could be seen wasn't all that worthwhile. Stalactites, Stalagmites, and what looked like floating particles of dust were all that could be seen. This artifact was an ancient portal to a cave.

"A cave?" Mr. Tipton asked in a loud sigh. He seemed to be a bit disappointed that it wasn't a portable nuclear meltdown or a weapon of war.

"Well this is a bit disappointing." I said with a sigh. Noticing the drop in morale within the room, I put on a smile and stood up on a table in the middle of the room directly in front of the portal. "But fear not fellow agents of the Federal Bureau of Research and Development. For we have just made history. We have discovered an ancient technology that proves that teleportation is possible and within our grasps." Smiles soon began to appear on their faces as my speech continued. "Sure, it's a lame ass idea to make a portal to some dark cave somewhere. But, the fact is that if they can portal to a cave, then the possibilities are endless." At this point I got a bit into the speech and stood in a triumphant pose atop a rolling chair. I was like a crazed politician at a rally. "Just think. Imagine using this technology to transport yourself from one side of world to the other. Or we can advance ourselves and teleport to other planets or even galaxies." The dramatics continued as the room began to cheer and clap to my words. With a shove off the table, I rolled my way across the room to place a hand on the portal. "Nobody knows who built this baby or for what purpose, but thank you for bringing us wonderful technology." I don't know why, but I just had to kiss it. My lips pressed up against the cold stone exterior in appreciation. Sadly, I should have seen where I put my left hand. I felt it touch something thick and liquid like…the center of the portal. Before I could stop myself, the room filled with a sudden buzz of screaming and calling of my name and my feet were lifted off the chair. My vision was suddenly blurred by a sea of red and all my senses felt like they were electrified and on fire. Suddenly a sharp pain in the back of the head and everything turned cold and black.

Ever have those moments when you do something stupid and then you wake up and have no idea where you are or how you got there? This was one of those times for me. The last thing I remembered was being in the lab and getting sucked into the portal. But, when I opened my eyes I was in a cold dark stone room. My head was throbbing with pain as if someone was using it for batting practice. As I raised my hands to ease some of the headache, I discovered a nice surprise around my wrists. Someone shackled my wrists to the wall with very heavy and very rusty iron chains. Who still uses iron chains these days? Within my state of shock and delirium, I pushed myself off the floor and stretched out the chain as far as they could go and began to scan my surroundings. Very faintly I could see that three of the walls within my square room were made from stone and mortar of some nature. The remaining wall was a collection of iron bars. It was clear that I've been taken prisoner and I was in a very old style cell. Outside the bars there was a faint orange glow and a gentle crackling sound. I was able to peak through and see that the walls were lined with a few crude torches. Only the gentle sound of crackling of the small flames and an occasional water drip could be heard. There was also a faint stench of mildew in the air.

"Hello? Can anybody hear me?" I called out to the emptiness as I struggled with my crude bindings. "I believe there must be some mistake. My name is Agent Joseph Robert Smith with the United States Federal Bureau of Research and Development. I believe I'm being falsely imprisoned here. Hello?"

Just then the sound of heavy footsteps on gravel could be faintly heard in the distance. The steps were paired with the sound of metal clanking together lightly, much like keys dangling off of someone's side. I clung to the cell's bars anxiously to see who was coming. I couldn't believe my eyes to see someone dressed in full medieval garb. Chainmail appeared to cover his body from his head to his waist. His head also donned a crude open faced helmet and a cloth tunic with some fashion of coat of arms embroidered across his chest. It consisted of a shield with a downward pointed sword with two keys beneath it all on top of a field of red. Worn leather pants and dirty black boots covered his legs. Attached to one side of his belt were a sheathed sword and a makeshift leather pouch on his other. The man made his way to my cell, turned, and faced me.

"Hi. How are you?" I said with a big innocent smile. "What a nice costume you have. Is it a rental?" The man just stared at me with a rather stern expression on his face, much like that of Mr. Tipton when I'm late for work. "Did I somehow land in a middle of a Renaissance fair? Let me tell ya, this is impressive. Even the smell is authentic. How did you do that?"

"Silence." The man said with his nostrils flared. "Who be ye?" His voice sounded like that of a college student quoting Shakespeare. However his voice seemed to have a unique legitimacy to it. It was almost as if royal old English and Irish and Scottish all rolled itself into one dialect.

"Didn't you hear me earlier? I really hate repeating…" I couldn't finish the statement before he started to unsheathe his sword. "…and I'm shutting up."

"I will ask once more, surface dweller. One chance is all thou will receive from me." The armored man barked lowly as he continued to draw his sword. "Who be ye?"

"My name is Agent Joseph Robert Smith." I said with my voice shaking a bit. Being chained in a dark cell and being threatened at sword point is a bit new for me. "I'm with the United States Federal Bureau of Research and Development. Why am I being held as a prisoner?"

"Thou art strange." The man returned his sword to its holding place.

"That's beside the point." I responded with a bit of a huff in my voice.

"And thou shall remain our captive until the inquisitor hast completed interrogation and deemed ye safe for release." He began to walk away. I quickly began calling out for him to stop and not leave.

"Please! Stop!" I cried out. "Answer one question for me at least. Where am I?"

The man stopped in his tracks. I saw his reddish brown eyes look over his shoulder and stare at me coldly. But there was a bit of a smirk on his face and a low dark chuckle in his voice. He raised a hand and began to walk off again out of view. "Welcome to Avernum."

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2

Avernum game series created by Jeff Vogel and Spiderweb Software

Avernum portal created by Jeff Vogel and Spiderweb Software

Joe, Jennie, Mr. Tipton created by Bravo Brokehoof


	3. Chapter 2 -- Surface Dweller

ADVENTURES IN AVERNUM

Chapter 2: Surface Dweller

A few hours have passed since I woke up in my prison cell. The cold darkness enveloped me like a wet and dirty blanket. I had been sitting in the corner of the cell and staring at the faint fiery glow of the torches in the hallway past the bars of my craggy cage. Occasionally the sound of drips of condensation hitting the floor could be heard as well as the slight crackle of flame from torchlight. The chains of my shackles made a light intermittent sound as the metal dragged across the rocky floor as my arm or leg would twitch from sitting too long. Being alone in the dark wasn't really getting to me as much as I'd think. However, the boredom was really starting to affect me. I didn't have a window to stare out of, nor a chair to spin in, and certainly not any paperwork to fold into little origami cranes. The only thing in my cell to ease my tedium was the chains on my shackles. Well, at least it was something. I grasped the chain in my hands and began counting the links. I figured that keeping my mind occupied and staying mentally sharp might prevent me from being placed in a rubber room later. That is, if I ever get out of this place. I was focused on counting the links of chain for about the third time when I heard the crunching of pebbles underfoot. The footsteps were headed in my direction as I dropped the chain and approached the bars of my cell. It was the same tall and lithe guard from before.

"Hey there, my friend." I put on a bit of a smile to see if I could at least get this guard to smirk. He remained stone faced with his nostril flared. "Did you know there are exactly 221 links to the chain I'm attached to? Its only factors are two prime numbers. Isn't that amazing? I'd have preferred to be in here playing the harmonica, but I don't think they were invented yet…"

"Silence, surface dweller!" He interrupted in a loud bark. The force of his voice nearly knocked me back a few feet. I continued to smile.

"I knew you'd say that." I chuckled a bit to myself. I noticed a few more armored people just barely in view. Something important must be about to happen or I may be in a world of trouble soon. It was very tough to tell.

"Presenting, Her Royal Highness the Princess of Avernum." The guard then knelt as a young lady approached the cell with four armored men surrounding her on all sides. They knelt down on one knee as well.

The first thing I noticed was her hair. It was nearly to her waist with and endless amount of curls. It was also an orange-red as if her curly locks were made of pure fire beneath a golden tiara. Then there was her fair skin. It was beyond pale as if sunlight never kissed an inch of it. But the fairness of her skin only brought more attention her emerald green eyes. To say the eyes were stunning would be an understatement to their beauty. She was enrobed in a green gown that flowed freely over her extremities, but remained snug around her lithe waist and midsection. Around her neck and resting between her breasts was a gold pendant in the form of a sun. My focus on her beauty was quickly cut short by the tapping of her foot. I noticed those beautiful green eyes from before have grown a little cold in a scowl. I looked around as the kneeling guards were also scowling at me with intense glares. The prison guard cleared his throat and motioned his eyes for me to pay attention to his sword slowly being drawn from its sheath as a warning. I quickly took a knee.

"My apologies, sweetheart." I cringed shortly after the words left my lips. With me already sticking out like a goose in a pond full of ducks, I know it's critical for me not to give them any reason to lop off my head. "I mean…Your Highness."

"Arise, surface dweller." The princess commanded. I stood up as did her guards with their weapons being withdrawn to whence they came. "Tell me thy name."

"I am Joseph Robert Smith. I'm an agent of the United States Federal Bureau of Research and Development." I gulped a little in intimidation as I could tell this was a serious conversation. The lithe young woman was royalty in…wherever I was.

"What are thy biddings here?" She questioned in a semi-brash tone. I could tell that my full title didn't impress her.

"My biddings?" I repeated the question aloud as I struggled to come up with an answer. "I'm not sure what you are asking me."

"Are you a messenger from the Empire?" She continued. Her eyes not blinking as if she was attempting to burn her gaze into my forever nightmares.

"What empire?" I asked in confusion. "I don't believe empires exist anymore, Your Highness."

The Princess looked about to her posse of guards and gave a loud and somewhat obnoxious cackle. "The nonexistence of the Empire is merely an impossibility. They are like cockroaches. They are unrelenting and untiring. Even amongst the great plagues and blights, they are probably thriving on the surface as we speak in this moment."

"But I am telling you the truth, Your Highness." I began to feel a nervous stutter coming on. She shot another glare at me.

"Silence, surface dweller." The princess's voice was as sharp as a dagger.

"Yes, ma'am…I mean…Your Highness." I haven't felt this nervous in front of someone since the time I was in the Principal's office after craftily stealing all the towels from the ladies' shower room. My hands twitched anxiously as my nerves were really starting to show outwardly. Her eyes began to look over me. Was she looking for something in particular? Was I interesting looking to her? Am I sexy to her? Questions flooded my mind until I saw her lips curl into a sneer.

"Methinks that this man speaks truth." She spoke grandly to her guards.

"Oh thank God." I began to relax. My body loosened up as I exhaled in relief.

"The Empire is too intelligent to send a mere pauper like the man seen before us." Her words cut sharply at my being. First, she thought I was a spy from some empire. Now, she's just being insulting. "His clothing and hair are detestable. No man of wealth or rank would look as such. He may be nothing more than a serf that was exiled by his vassal."

"Wait a minute, Your Highness!" I protested. I guess I never really noticed that I was still in my button up shirt, tie, and dress pants. They are quite soiled at this point and my hair a bit more of a mess than usual. "While it is true that I am not an overly rich man, I am not a peasant. This is how most professional men dress where I'm from. In regards to my hair…it's damn sexy right?" I gave her a wink and a pose to see if I could get any sort of acknowledgement from it. The royal's eyes showed no impression upon them.

"Was the surface dweller armed?" She spoke in the direction of my cell's guard.

"No, Your Royal Highness." He said as he reached into a pouch. "Only a small box that makes noise was in position." He held out my cell phone to her. I have to admit, that description gave me a bit of a chuckle.

"May I have that back, please?" I asked and hand out my hand.

"No." The guard smacked me hand away mightily. I retracted my hand and rubbed it. That hurt quite a bit.

"That is quite a pity." The Princess let out a long bored yawn. "I had hoped that in my excitement of a surface dweller emerging once more, that it would have been a man with some interest about him. Shame my excitement hath been wasted on a mere serf with a lazy tongue. I bid thee well, surface dweller." With that she began to walk away as well as her entourage of guards.

"Is that it? Am I free to go?" I called out in hopes of a response. She ignored me and continued to walk out of view. My own guard was about to walk away too. "Wait. Stop, please."

The guard stopped in his tracks and gave me a sharp glance out of the corner of his eye. "Speak, surface dweller."

"Who was she?" I asked as politely as possible. "Her name was never mentioned other than that she was the Royal Princess of Avernum."

"Her name is Princess Alexandria of Avernum." He said lowly which is typical of this guard. "She is the youngest daughter of our King and third heir to the throne."

"So she has two older siblings eh?" I said in response. "Are they as crass as her? Or is she special?" With that the guard began walking away without a word. I called out from the bars. "What is your name, by the way?"

"Thou shalt know not of my name." He grumbled as he disappeared from view.

"Well fine then!" I yelled. "Nice to meet you too, Thoushaltknownotofmyname!" I sat back down in the dark corner of the cell on the cold hard ground. I laid back and truly began to ponder about if I will ever get out of this hellhole. Those thoughts began to fade away as my eyes closed and I drifted off into a daydream.

I replayed the situation back in the lab. I revisited my folly that plunged me through the portal. How careless I was in my attempts to cheer everyone up. Perhaps, I got too wrapped up in getting my first case that I was afraid to accept anything that could be anywhere related to failure. At least now I knew that the artifact was indeed some sort of portal. Where the portal led was still a mystery as I woke up in a prison cell. It appears that I may have been transported back to the medieval era as they speak and dress similar to ancient England. What did the guard call this place? Avernum? I don't ever recall hearing of a place called that in my research of ancient knowledge. What about Jennie? Is she okay after the accident? Does she even think that I'm alive? What about Agent Tipton? Do I even have a job if I can get out and get home? All these questions that once filled my mind were now interrupted by a sudden and strange image in my dream. I was once again standing in an open grassy field with the portal standing in front of me. I swear it whispered my name as it activated with the red fiery mass filling its threshold. I then envisioned me walking towards it and reaching out to touch it. What I saw next was beyond creepy. A thin, grey, bony hand with only three long fingers and a thumb reached through the portal and grabbed my wrist. The shock of the sudden grab snapped me straight out of the dream.

"Surface dweller, how farest thou?" A young male voice called out from the opposite side of the bars in my prison cell.

"If that is you asking me how I'm doing, then let's put things into perspective." I groaned and pushed myself up off the floor and turned to face the one engaging me into a conversation. "I'm in prison. I have heavy iron chains attached to me. Did I mention it's chilly in here? So you tell me how I should be faring?" It was about this time that I noticed that I had a new visitor outside of my cell. He was dressed very similar to the guard I'm most familiar with. He also wore chainmail that covered his entire torso. I also noticed that his surcoat fashioned the same coat of arms as the other guard. One big difference was his size. He seemed a bit shorter than the previous guard and might have actually been a few inches shorter than I. His face was definitely younger and a whole lot less grumpy looking. A few strands of long dirty blonde hair strayed from under his armor and dangled in front of his face. His light brown eyes gazed upon me with a sincere look of concern. I decided perhaps this guard might actually be open to a more friendly form of conversation. "I don't think we've met yet?"

"Methinks not." A smile flashed brightly on his face in the faint torchlight. "Greetings."

"Greetings. I am Joe." I nodded and returned a bit of a halfhearted smile. It was more of a smirk really as I am still stuck in a hellhole for who knows how long now. "Who might you be?"

"My name is Derric." He said with an unexpected sort of glee in his voice. "By my thoth, it is a pleasure to make thy acquaintance. I have waited my life for mine eyes to spy upon a surface dweller."

"Not sure what that means, Derric." I am beginning to wonder why everyone calls me that means. "So where is the big guy at?"

"Big guy?" Derric looked at me with confusion. I raised my hand to the height of the other guard. He chuckled and grinned. "Oh, Segar? He is off duty in the barracks."

"Ah." I said in response. "Is he normally grouchy?"

"Segar hath a reputation of being thrunch to every folk." At this time Derric reached to his belt and took out a key of rings and placed a key into the old iron lock. "Thine presence hath been requested in the chamber for thine interrogation, my Goodman." Fortunately for me, he also removed the shackles and chains from my wrists and ankles. Those were really beginning to hurt.

The young guard guided me through the narrow torch lit hallway to a closed heavy wooden door. He proceeded to knock on the door lightly.

"Enter." A disembodied voice called out. Derric opened the door and spoke out.

"The prisoner ye hast requested, Your Honor." The guard declared.

"Very good. Thou art excused, Derric." My interrogator was facing opposite us.

As expected, the room was fairy dim as there were a few torches sparsely placed along the walls of the room. There was also a small brazier of hot coals near a table in the center of the room. In the middle of the coals was a meager flame dancing about filling the room with just enough light to cast shadows along the walls. I really tried my best to not let the various bindings and torture devices that lined the walls of the chamber intimidate me. Surely, they aren't going to lock me in the iron maiden or rip out my tongue or tear off my limbs, would they? I admit, I just shuttered thinking of these things.

My interrogator turned around. He was a man who was slightly shorter than myself but looked to be much older. He appeared to be a bit stockier than the other people I've seen since awakening in the cell. He was wearing an old and plain monk's habit. Not a lot was special about it as far as flair. The habit was medium grey in color with a rope serving as a belt around his waist. Strung along on the aforementioned belt were a pouch and a knife. The man kept his hands tucked inside the loose sleeves of his habit and made his way over to the table.

"Prisoner, wilst thou sit?" My interrogator held his hand out in invitation to sit in a stool across from him.

"Here?" I said as I slowly walked to the stool. I cocked an eyebrow as I could have sworn that the stool was still under the table a minute ago, but is now back to where I can sit in it.

"Yay. Now I pray to thee, sit." He said as he took a seat. Next thing I know I felt the stool scoot up under me and forcibly knock my ass onto it. I looked around the room to see if anyone moved the stool. There wasn't anyone else about. It was just me and my interrogator in the room. Who pushed in the stool? Did it move on its own? Or did he somehow do it?

"Did you do that?" I asked in curiosity about the moving stool.

"I beg thy pardon?" He asked as he pulled the hood of his habit back. I could now see his face clearly. As predicted, he was balding with a small strip of hair that wrapped around the back of his head just about his ears. There was a small set of spectacles that rested on his nose. Behind the glasses was a pair of light brown eyes. At first glance, he didn't seem all that intimidating for an interrogator as he looks more like a kindly old monk that'd be helping out the homeless.

"The stool…did you move it somehow?" I asked again.

"Silence." He slammed a knife into the table. I immediately jumped and clinched to the sides of my stool. I looked at the man again; it didn't look like the same man from a minute ago. His eyebrows arched downward and his glasses reflected the torchlight as if his eyes were made of fire. "I will be the one asking queries in this room. I pray ye to answer them with truth and conviction. Thy fate is in my hands and my hands alone. Any falsehood and I will slay ye without hesitation. Doth thou understandest my terms?"

"Y-y-yes." I began to studder and shudder in my seat. Never before have I been given quite the third degree like I'm receiving now. And never before had I had my life threatened by an old man. That was truly scary.

"Speaketh louder, surface dweller." He said with a sharp bark in his voice.

"Yes sir!" I said louder as I was noticeably trembling in my seat.

"Where be ye from, surface dweller?" His voice softened a bit, but his eyes failed to blink as he stared deep into my own.

"Washington, D.C., sir." I responded as I tried to remain in eye contact with his. It was difficult to keep my wits about me with a knife standing in the center of the table and the man who plunged it there staring so intently.

"Wherest in Ermarian is this Washington, D.C.?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Are you kidding?" I asked in shock that someone doesn't know where my country's capital is. The flames on the walls and in the brazier suddenly erupted into large conflagration. The heat grew very intense as sweat began beading on my forehead and face. I could barely speak from fear as the flames continue to grow around me. The monk's eyes looked almost red behind the glare of light and his body looked nearly 8 feet tall now. Was I shrinking? Is he getting bigger? What is going on here?

"Answer my question." His voice boomed with a thunderous reverb. My senses were in red alert mode as I felt more in a nightmare than in reality.

"I don't know." I screamed out like a school girl at this point. I have never been so scared to be honest.

"Art thou not a child of the Empire?" His voice continued to grow. I tried my best to breathe, but it was getting too difficult to do so. The combination of heat, ghoulish sights, and now devilish droning echoed in my ears, was breaking and tearing at my psyche. My eyes were now stinging from the mixture of intense temperature and sweat running down into them.

"Empire!? What Empire!?" I yelled out in confusion.

"Answer my question, prisoner!" His voice belted over the nightmarish drone. The room now started to spin. I could feel my insides gurgle and knot as if I was about to vomit in the next few minutes. This man was not letting up. I was now fully convinced that this man was somehow puppeteering his surroundings to make me speak only the truth. The trouble is, my truth doesn't appear to be what he wanted to hear.

"I don't know of any Empire, sir." Tears began streaming from my eyes from both pain and fear. "Please stop this."

"Answer! Was thine birthplace in the Empire? Yay or nay?" He asked again. This time was more forceful than before. At this moment, I had had enough. I slammed my fists on the table and closed my eyes and screamed the loudest I've ever screamed at anyone.

"I DON'T KNOW!?" I had now been broken to full on sobbing. "I DON'T KNOW OF THIS EMPIRE!? I DON'T KNOW OF ERMARIAN!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM!? AM I IN HELL!? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!?" There was a moment of silence after my outburst. Actually, it was more like several minutes. It grew so quiet, that the sound of my own heartbeat echoed in my head.

"Open thine eyes." The voice was now as soft as it was when he first began questioning me. I slowly opened them. I was surprised to see that the torch lights were back to a meager size and glow. The monk's size appeared to return to normalcy as did the temperature in the room. Was it all in my mind or did all of that just happen in reality? "Thou verily hast not any recollection of the places I aforementioned?"

"No sir." I wiped some tears from my eyes with the soiled sleeve of my shirt.

"I pray thee, tell me how ye arrived here in Avernum." His eyes softened up a bit more.

"An old relic was found in Peru. I was assigned to discover its purpose. It appears to be a portal that teleported me here." I said still in a quiet tone. I really didn't want to make eye contact in case he wanted to break my mentality again. I was not sure I could handle all of that again. By the way his stool creaked, I could tell he just shifted his weight back and probably folded his arms in thought.

"So ye are telling me that ye are not even from Ermarian?" He asked with a big amount of disbelief in his voice.

"What's Ermarian? And what year is this?" I asked while still avoiding eye contact.

"Ermarian is the name of our world and if the timekeepers are correct, it is 898 IE." He responded. "What is the name of thy world?"

"Earth." I figured it's easier to leave it at that. I myself was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was no longer on planet Earth and that it is not 2015 anymore. Did the portal lead me to another dimension and time? This was some real Stephen Hawking shit going on here.

"Earth you say? I see." He said while wiping his glasses similar to how Mr. Tipton did when he was thinking of what to say. "I know not of how a portal came to being in thy world. However, for this moment in time, thou art the first surface dweller to be sent to Avernum in decades and the first person from this Earth thou aforementioned."

"Why are people calling me that? Calling me a surface dweller?" That question has been in the back of my head for quite some time now after awaking in the prison cell.

"I supposed this bares explanation. I pray thee, allowest me to tell ye a story." He clasped his hands together and cleared his throat. "Long ago, the world of Ermarian was under the tyranny of Emperor Hawthorne II. A world underground was discovered and soon this place soon became a prison for those who defied his rule or broke them. The original Exiles bravely bonded together and challenged the odds and began their own society within the caves. Soon the community of comrades became the Kingdom of Avernum. Even in its infancy, the people of the Kingdom of Avernum were proud folk, living off of what little these caves could provide us. As time passed, the Empire grew colder and more tyrannical. They began exiling any person for any reason they saw fit. Unbeknownst to the Empire, the Avernites were growing stronger and braver as the number of bodies grew. Revenge was soon sought as a few brave souls were able to find a means of escape and soon slain the current Emperor at that moment, Hawthorne III. Though a few have been able to leave this realm, most of us Avernites were born here and live our lives here in the peace that we know."

"This place is in large set of caverns?" I asked in a bit of surprise. I thought back to the lab when we sent a fiber-optic camera through the portal. We were able to see a series of caves, but no one was in sight.

"Aye, my Goodman." He nodded. "I pray thee, tell me thine name."

"Joseph Robert Smith, sir." My hands were still shaking a bit. Warmth suddenly surrounded them. I looked down to see his stronger hands envelop mine in form of caring greeting.

"It is a pleasure to meet thee, Joseph Robert Smith." A faint smile came across his face. Was this the same man who was putting the screws to me earlier? "I am known throughout Avernum as Father Michael. I pray thee, what is ye a smith of? Iron? Silver?"

I was taken back by the sudden kindness by the man. "Neither sir. It is just the last name I was born with."

"I see. And might if it is not rude, may I ask why doth thou wear a cloth noose around the nape of thine throat?" His eyes were strangely serious for such a question. I looked down and placed a hand on my throat and let out a chuckle.

"Oh! Hahahaha! This is a necktie." I answered starting to feel a bit more relaxed with these lines of questions. "It is something we have to wear back at the Bureau where I work in D.C."

"I doth hopeth that thou hath become more calm." He picked up his knife from the table and gripped it tight. My body began to tremble once more and I closed my eyes as it now seemed that Father Michael had intention to take my life.

"Please, if you're going to kill me. Get it over with." I begged as my hands trembled once more.

"I will do no such thing, Joseph." The monk's voice remained in a gentle tone. I opened my eyes as he pocketed his blade in the pouch as he stood from the table. He once again took my shaking hands in his warmth. "Fear not. Thou art no longer a prisoner. Thou hast passed my examination and art not a threat. If thou had any ill intent within thine being, ye would have grasped at the knife I placed in the table." I sighed some relief knowing I'd not be going back to that dirty cell again. My celebration was cut short before it could even begin. "I bearest bad tidings. Thy arrival to Avernum has landed at a bad time in our history. Whilst we are not currently at war or in danger of blight or plague, we have lost our ability to activate our portals to return to the surface. From this moment on, thou art now an Exile like Avernites of Old. Might I also suggest that ye not talk about being from another world. It might just keep ye alive." The information stunned me as he released my hands from his grasp and made his way to the door and opened it. Derric walked in and saluted. Michael nodded in return and gave one last order before disappearing. "When Joseph is ready, I pray thee, escort him out."

"Yes, Your Honor." Derric gave a slight bow and remained in the room with me.

I was once again deep within my own mind. I was trying to piece together the situation at hand. Did I somehow not only skip time, but traveled to a different dimension of reality altogether? Did Father Michael just alert me that there may be very little means of escape from this place? Was I doomed to never return home again? No, I wasn't going to ever settle for that. I'm still a member of the Federal Bureau of Research and Development! My case was still active and this was nothing more than a wrinkle to iron out! I clinched my teeth and turned around to face Derric.

"Is ye ready, Joseph?" The young guard asked in a tender inflection, probably knowing of my situation as well as what I went through during the interrogation. "Or doth thou needest more time?"

"I don't know if time is what I need right now, Derric." I responded with a sigh, but turned with as much of a smile as I could muster. "But, if there is any place where I can get something to eat, I'd be appreciative."

Sometime later, I was escorted from the prison with Derric. To be truthful, I wasn't sure what I was expecting to see upon my exit. I will say this, it was much more than I could have ever imagined. This was truly a society built in a giant series of caverns. There were stalactites and stalagmites scattered throughout the cavern ceiling and floor. Surprising was that this cavern had a natural source of light on the ceiling. If I wasn't mistaken, it appeared that some of the lichen and fungus growing from some of the stalactites were actually glowing and enveloping the surroundings with a bluish and greenish light. Granted, the light was still very dim. It was like permanent twilight. Even little sparkling flecks of dust floating towards the ceiling looked a bit like stars against the glowing green and blues above. The experience was reminding me of a mix between the Northern Lights and Fremont Street in Las Vegas. The smell of the air truly left something to be desired as it smelled a bit like mildew. The temperature wasn't all that great either. A constant chill blanketed the atmosphere. I could have really used a coat right about now. There were quite a bit of noises echoing throughout the caves. The air filled with sounds of people talking to one another, blacksmiths hammering on metal, the soft dripping of water from the stalactites, and the sounds of wheels grinding and dragging and rolling across the gravely pathways made on the stone cavern floors. Then there were the buildings the Avernites constructed. It was clear that they weren't masterpieces, however with what minimal supplies that these souls were blessed with, they were still magnificent. We were completely surrounded by a tall wall of stone and mortar, constructed in the ways of the old medieval fortress. Lanterns and torches were hanging all over, supplying extra light for Avernites to not injure themselves in darkness. It was all magnificent and more whimsical than anyone could possibly dream of.

"This is Fort Avernum." Derric smiled and said aloud. "In actually, this is the first settlement ever built by the original Avernites. Exiles who were banished through the portal would arrive just below here and were greeted by soldiers stationed here. Hence, the fort's shield contains both a sword and keys."

"It's incredible." My jaw continued to drop as I stared at the surreal surroundings and his lecture about the beginnings of this wondrous place.

"At one moment, this fort was abandoned when the Empire ceased to use the portal to send arrivals to Avernum." He looked around as well and continued his history lesson. "Over time, the fort was established once more as a place to revisit the past. Never would I believe that I would hath found a new arrival in the old tunnels."

"So you were the one who found me?" I turned and asked.

"Yay, verily it was so." He nodded and gave another smile. "It was part of my duty as a guard to this fort to inspect all areas in and around it and even underneath it. On occasion, a thief or stray beast may be found in the old arrival tunnel. I found thy body unconscious on the ground wherest new Exiles would arrive. Unsure that the Empire had returned to its wicked ways, I had no option but to taketh thy body into the prison to await interrogation. Father Michael volunteered to perform the deed." I shuttered at the memory.

"Should I ask why he would volunteer?" I inquired trying to shake the memories of the interrogation from the replaying cinema in my mind.

"Father Michael is highly skilled in the art of magic. He could even be the best in all of Avernum." Derric smiled a wondrous look in his eyes. "Very few Avernites in our history have been able to master most disciplines of both mages and priests to his level. He applies a few of his abilities into the inquiry and most accused criminals confess within a few moments. Father Michael only uses the very minimal of his magic during the process though. A mind or body could not survive against his full power."

"No shit. No wonder I nearly fainted." I said with a shutter as I imagined my head exploding from his sheer magical ability. "I have to admit he is rather scary."

"What are the Mages and Priests like in your world?" The guard asked in a polite voice. "Are they as wondrous as they are here in Avernum?"

I sighed and shook my head as there was no good answer to his question. As you, the readers, already know, magic is seen as either myth, works of Satan, or simply sleight of hand done by people in flashy costumes. "To be honest, magic isn't a reality in our world. There are people that perform acts that are passed as magic, but are mere tricks."

"That is a sad reality, I must say, Joseph." I saw a frown appear across his face. "Magic is a way of life for Avernites. Methinks a world without it is empty." I couldn't help for feel agreement as I believe that having the answers for everything prevents the journey for the miracles in life.

We were making our way through the gravel paths through the town within the fort. I continued to look at the wonders of civilization that seems to be not only be surviving away from the sun, but actually thriving. I'd get an occasional curious glance from a local denizen before they continued on with their daily work. Some were wearing normal middle ages style clothing. The women were adorned in long flowing gowns of various colors with long flared sleeves. Some were even wearing a hooded cloak over their head and shoulders. A good majority of the men were in chainmail and surcoats, guessing they are some sort of guard or military. The male laborers running around were mostly in some fashion of plain tunics as well as dark and tight cloth pants. There were a few with leather jerkins, but guessing they were from a high economy as some of the men were wearing rope for a belt as opposed to leather. Upon further investigation, I began to notice a common theme amongst Avernites. Every single one of them was pale skinned. I would even think a ghost would look tan in comparison. I looked up at the fungus-lit ceiling of the cave once more and thought of an advantage. With a constant ceiling overhead, they wouldn't have to worry about weather all that much. Rain, snow, tornadoes, and UV radiation aren't things they would understand. About this time, Avernum decided to deliver a curveball to my theory in the form of a drop of water from a stalactite that landed directly in my eye. I lowered my head and wiped the excess from my face as Derric laughed.

"The cave does that on occasion, my Goodman." He said with a lighthearted chuckle. "We have all gotten accustomed to the drops of water."

"At least it's a constant" I said as another drop landed in my hair. A gust of sudden wind blew in from somewhere and chilled my bones. Derric stood there as if it was nothing to him. "And I guess that wind gust is another?"

"The wind is wee less predictable, Joseph." He responded. "The inn is close. There is a fire to warm thyself by." I have to admit a fire did sound nice. It was very cold in that prison cell and the cavern temperature wasn't much warmer.

I guess while daydreaming about warm places, and admittedly women in bikinis, I ran face-first into something dark and tall. I rubbed my hands on my face to dull the pain and shock from the collision only to see something I'd never expect to see…a tree. Granted it produced no leaves, and the branches were curled and gnarled and twisted, but it was clearly wood and somehow rooted into the cavern floor.

"That is a tree, Joseph." Derric commented as if I ever seen one before.

"I'm well aware of what it is, Derric." I snarked back as a kneejerk reaction. "What are they doing here? How is it even rooted in the ground and how does it grow?"

"Magic." He said with a confident gleam on his face. "Some of the first exiles to Avernum were Mages. They used magic to grow the trees here in the caves to be used for lumber. Mages maintain forests of cave trees throughout the Kingdom so that lumber is plentiful for all Avernites." I cocked an eyebrow as I heard a familiar sound over a nearby fence. It sounded like a faint and meek moo. I just had to find out as I made a B-line towards the direction of the noise. "Joseph! Where art thou going!?" Derric yelled out as he made chase to catch up to me.

"I think I heard something familiar to me that shouldn't be down here." I had a curious smile on my face and a mischievous look in my eye as I found a nearby barrel and placed it by the fence. My thirst for knowledge was once again in need of quenching. With a quick heave, my feet were planted solidly on the barrel and my eyes were peering over the fence. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Three cows were roaming around in an enclosure eating random bits of what looked like mushrooms and lichen. These cows, like other Avernites, were terribly skinny and pale. One looked up with a wide eyed gaze and gave out a sad, but curious moo. "Amazing…you have cows here."

"Yay, cows were sent through the portal long ago by the Empire and we have kept their children ever since, but methinks that what thou is doing is a bad idea, Joseph." Derric added as I stepped down and moved the barrel over to another section of the fence. "That is property of the beastmaster."

"Come now, Derric. Where is your sense of adventure?" I had to laugh a bit. "It's only livestock. Do you think a cow is going to moo me to death?" I looked over this section of fence and cocked an eyebrow. There were some very large green lizards roaming around. Almost the length of the cows I just witnessed and nearly just as tall. I could tell I really wouldn't want to be near them if I could help it.

 _ **HISSSSSSSSSSS!**_ One of the large lizards let out a loud hiss like roar in my face as it rapidly clawed its way up the fence. I screamed and fell over backwards and off the barrel onto the cold craggy floor. The lizard was still hissing and growling as it was climbing its way over the wooden blockade to get to me. Its eyes filled with primal lust for me to become its breakfast.

"C'me 'ither ye sc'led dem'n." A large hand reached up and grabbed the hungry reptile by the throat and pulled it back over the enclosure. The man's head and shoulders then appeared over the fence. He was huge! By my guess, he had to stand nearly 6 foot 8 and was as sturdily built as he was tall. He had a slightly disturbing smile as a few of his teeth were apparently missing and several scars covered his face and neck as well as his hands. This behemoth of a man apparently lives a rough lifestyle, but by the smile, he seemed to prefer it this way. "G'day, me g'dm'n. Lucky I be 'ere t' st'p this 'ere beast. Or meth'nks ye'd be s'pp'r. Haha!" He let out a thunderous laugh. His diction was horrid and accent was heavier than the previous Avernites I've met.

"Those things eat meat!?" I asked in a loud tone as my face was nearly taken off by the vicious beast. Not sure what was so funny, but the big man continued to laugh as the lizard continued to hiss and struggle within his grasp. It hissed and flailed, trying to get its nasty teeth on his captor. The gaze in its eyes was, in a word, psychotic.

"Wh're this g'dman be fr'm, Derr'c?" He looked in question to Derric.

"Joseph is from the surface." Derric responded kindly.

"The surf'ce eh? Haha!" The man thundered again. "The Emp're b' send'n' whoop'r'ps ag'n eh?" Both Derric and the man laughed out loud at this.

"Whooper…what? What is this man saying?" I asked as I pushed myself off the ground and dusted myself off.

"Joseph, this is Hann." Derric introduced with his usual cheery style. "He is the fort's beastmaster."

"A pleas're, m' g'dman." Hann gave a smile. His brown eyes seemed to nearly glisten at the introduction.

"My Goodman, Joseph and I were in the direction of the inn." The guard interjected. "I pray thee, thy finest meat for dinner."

"Fin'st meat eh?" The beastmaster cocked his head in thought. "Ve'y well, m' g'dm'n." He took a knife from, well, don't know where, and instantly removed the head off the lizard within his grasp in one swipe. The corpse immediately fell limp in Hann's grasp as the head fell over the fence and rolled at my feet. Its yellow hungry eyes still open and staring at me as its fluids drained from under its head. Hann gave a big smile and held up the headless reptile. "Wh't d'th thou th'nk of the meat, J'seph?"

"I think I'm going to be sick." I held my hand over my mouth in attempts not to vomit at the sudden and immediate beheading.

"It is a beauteous choice, Hann." Derric responded for me. He then turned to me and placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me in the opposite direction and started leading me away. "Forward to the inn, my Goodman." Hann was spouting out more unintelligible gibberish as we were making distance from his property. Couldn't be sure exactly what to think about the man, but very glad he seemed friendly. Derric and I didn't make any other pit stops as we reached the inn in a matter of minutes.

The inside of the inn was beautiful beyond words. But, let's be honest, compared to that smelly prison cell, any type of building was probably beautiful. Like most of the constructs I've encountered so far, the walls were stones placed on top of each other with a type of dried mortar holding them together. In the front of the inn seemed to be a rather large dining hall. Wooden tables and benches were in the corners near the fireplace where a big blaze danced and crackled cheerfully. Torches, hanging lanterns, as well a few candles strewn throughout, gave the room a warm and welcoming glow. The temperature had nice warmth in the air as well as the smell of sweet incense, though I couldn't really pinpoint the exact scent. It was a slight fruity smell, but with some dark earthy tannins to it. A lady came from behind a door. Her long dark black hair draped down the back of her light blue dress. She appeared to be yelling at someone before she closed the door.

"…an' be s're th' pot is a-bo'l!" She finished her shout in banshee like fashion. The lady's voice was a bit like Hann's, just slightly more feminine. Within moments, her light grey eyes spotted us. She quickly fixed her hair and dusted her dress and approached us. Her voice quickly changed from brash and broken to polished and posh. "Blessed be my soul. Derric, how be thee at this hour?" The woman gave a polite curtsey to the young guard.

"I be well and healthy, milady." He bowed in response. "I pray thee, doth thou have a vacant room for this Goodman?"

"Yay. I shall prepare a room for this…beauteous gent." The lady gave me a smile and a wink as her eyes investigated me seductively up and down. "I bid thee, be ye a surface dweller?"

"Yes, ma'am." I gave a slight bow and smile in introduction. "I'm Joe."

The lady flashed a smile as her hands grasped and fondled my tie. "Prithee, address me as Rosa." I knew I was a bit sexy, but wasn't truly prepared for her to lean in and take a long smell of my neck. She let out a contented smile as I let out an embarrassed blush. Rosa stepped back and gave a slight nod to Derric and I and spoke again. "Well now, I shall seek that the room is prepared for thee, Joe. Pardon my absence as I do so." She turned and let out another banshee scream. "Oi Wilk'n! We g't a rent'r!"

"A rent'r! Be ri't ou'!" A man's low disembodied voice called back from somewhere.

"M've swift'y, dunce!" Rosa called out in insult before disappearing behind another door.

"I m've 's I bl'dy ple'se, wench!" The man insulted back as he appeared from behind the same door Rosa first appeared from. He was completely bald and very thin looking. He had on a long white shirt under a brown vest with several wooden buttons dressed down the center and dark cloth pants. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. The sour expression he wore on his face washed away upon his first glance of Derric and me. The innkeeper reached his hand out and shot a smile to me. "Greetings, I be Wilkin, the keeper of the inn."

"I'm Joe." I shook his hand. For a thin and frail looking man, he sure had a damn strong grip.

"Good day, Wilkin, my Goodman." Derric interjected and handed over a tiny leather sack to the innkeeper who immediately took it, untied it, and opened it. A few silver and copper coins landed in hands and a brighter smile appeared on his face. Derric then continued with another statement. "I hath orders from Father Michael to supply the surface dweller with lodging and food."

"Aye, tis will be enough for a vast lot of meals and nights." Wilkin pocked his new coins. Suddenly a large boom was heard behind one of the rooms as well commotion from Rosa in her loud and broken language. She appeared from a door pulling a young child by the ear.

"Owowowowow! Un'and me, m'th'r." The child's speech was just as broken as Rosa's and Wilkin's. It was noticeable that it runs in their bloodline. In fact, he was wearing nearly the same outfit his father was wearing.

"Thy son be clim'n th' da'n she'ves again." Rosa complained.

"Wilmot, wh't 'ave I said 'bout clim'n she'ves?" Wilkin scolded as he knelt down to be at eye level with the young child.

"Ne'er do it wh'n mum is ab't?" Wilmot responded unsure of the correct answer. I couldn't help but laugh as the kid reminds me a bit of myself at that age.

"Wilk'n!" Rosa turned her frustration onto the innkeeper.

"I ne'er spoke those w'rds." Wilkin tried to backpedal, but it was obvious those were his exact words to his son.

""ere!?" The angry wife tossed a cloth to her husband. "Clean th' tables. It alm'st be time f'r dinn'r. Ev'ry'ne w'll be arriving soon." She then tugged Wilmot by the ear again. "'n you! Fetch w'ter now!"

"I pray thee, pay my family little mind. Ye will go poop-noddy if thee do." The innkeeper sighed as his quarreling family members were out of earshot. He did flash a smile as he began wiping the tables with the cloth Rosa threw at him earlier. "Ye should sit. By the seventh ring of the court bell, our dinner guests will arrive. Should not be too long now."

"Seventh ring of the court bell?" I inquired as I turned to Derric. He seemed to be a good source of proper information in this weird and sometimes backward place.

"Yay, my Goodman." He nodded and continued to explain. "The town timekeepers toll the bell every hour of every day. In a wee amount of time, they will toll the bell for the seventh hour past half day."

 _ **BOOOOONG! BOOOOONG! BOOOOONG!**_ Soon there was a distant clear sound of an old bell ringing throughout the fort. It continued to ring until seven tolls of the bell sounded. It was soon followed by a man's voice shouting out to the denizens of Fort Avernum. "S'ven hours pas' 'alf day an' all 's well!" I looked down at my watch. I couldn't believe my eyes, the bell rang at 7:00 PM exactly! That is a feat that baffles all possibility, especially considering that they have no access to modern technology or even the sun to tell time. Sure enough, the door opened up and guards and various other Avernites of various ages, sizes, and paleness of complexion poured into the meager dining hall. The air in the room was quickly filled with the buzz of various conversations between the hungry guests as they took their places at the several tables that were strewn throughout. For once, I didn't truly didn't feel like I stood out like a black sheep as those that have gathered for a meal were far too busy with their own discussions to even notice me. A genuine smile came to my face as I spied the many conversations going on all around me like high school cafeteria, except without the fights and bad pizza. Derric placed a hand on my shoulder with a friendly grin and we took a seat at our own table.

Derric and I shared a table with a few archers and a local storekeeper. They were chatting amongst themselves much like old friends, mostly about a few of the women that walked past them. There was some sort of slang used amongst them that I couldn't figure out, but I'm sure it was about certain parts of the women's figure as they were followed by hand gestures and then loud laughter, then a toast. They raised their tankards of ale with a random manly 'Yay!'. I couldn't help myself but to mirror them with my tankard of water, despite being ignorant to what the toast was about. For all I know, it could have been in honor of back hair, but I was just having too much fun listening and enjoying the company of others in bliss.

"Art thou enjoying thine self?" Derric asked after the toasters chugged down their respective tankards of alcohol.

"Are you kidding?" I laughed and sipped some of my water. "This sure beats being in that cold cell."

"I shall raise my tankard in agreement." Derric chuckled and raised his tankard. I nodded and raised my own. It appears I may have actually made a good friend in my short time here. Derric truly seemed to actually be as interested in me as much as I'm interested in this world of theirs. Suddenly, a tankard reached out from my far left and made contact with my own. Water spilled all over me from the sudden blunt force.

"YAY!" A deep voice shouted out. I turned my head after wiping off the excess water from my shirt. Hann had joined us with a huge chunk of steaming meat on a wooden platter. "Oi there, Jos'ph!" His grin was half menacing because of the missing teeth, but I could tell it was genuine. I bet his heart was as big as his muscles.

"Greetings, Hann." Derric said pleasurably. "The meat looks quite pleasant, my Goodman."

"Thanks, m' g'dm'n." Hann said as he placed the platter on the table. Actually, it was more like a slam as the weight of meat caused the table to shake. At this time, all I could think about was the demonic face of the lizard that had recently tried to scale a fence to eat me and now it laid before me for me to eat it. At least, I could find peace as the head and scales were removed. Hopefully, the organs were removed as well. "What d'th thou think'st, Jos'ph!?"

Hann's voice shook me out my short and unpleasant memory. I shuttered and then flashed the biggest smile I got. "Is that all for me? Hann, you shouldn't have." I usually said the same thing when I got an ugly sweater from a family member on Christmas morning.

"Come, let us eat bountifully from this feast before us." Derric said and raised his tankard. We all placed our tankards together again, with my tankard now being nearly empty from Hann's interjection at our last toast. I watched as the table all grabbed at pieces of meat, like wild wolves feasting on their last kill.

"I hoped they washed their hands." I thought to myself as I watched the men eating the cooked lizard meat in front of my eyes with their bare hands. I looked around nervously as everyone chewed and looked back at me as if I was doing something wrong.

"Oi, Jos'ph." Hann said with a look of concern and handed me a slab of meat. "Pr'thee, h've a bite."

"If you insist." I said nervously. When a man that big offers you anything, it's best to take it in fear of loss of limb and life. I smelled at the meat. "Mmmmm…smells delicious." That was obviously a lie, it smelt like a toilet. I closed my eyes and prepared to take a bite. "Thanks for the meal." I quickly said in just and took a big bite. My eyes popped open wide as the flavor and grease exploded in my mouth and against my tongue. I quickly chewed and forced my head back to swallow what I could. I reached for my tankard and downed what water was left.

"It 's g'd, aye?" Hann said with a big smile. I tried to nod, but the rancid taste of charred reptile was making my brain and body scramble for anything to get rid of the taste. A small wooden bowl of a creamy soup was slid in beside of me by the Innkeeper's wife, Rosa. It was greyish white with chunks of what looked like mushrooms floating within it.

"I pray thee, try the meat with our delicious soup." She said oblivious to the fact I was nearly choking on food that I wouldn't dare serve to an enemy. Wilmot walked next to her and pushed a basket of dark grey bread. Without much hesitation, I tore off a piece of the loaf and threw it into my mouth. It was completely dry and tasted like dust and cobwebs. I blindly grabbed at the bowl of soup and poured it down my throat. I couldn't believe it, it was just as disgusting as the rest of the food. "The bread and soup were lovingly made by the bounty of the beauteous mushrooms found in the local farms."

"MUSHROOMS!? ARE THESE GUYS CRAZY!?" I thought to myself. I truly wanted to scream, but I was far too busy battling the bad tastes of the edibles they were feeding me.

"Prithee, drink this ale. It will make the meal taste better." Innkeeper Wilkin was now standing by the table beside his wife and son and sliding a tankard of ale to me. "I make this promise to thee." He gave a sly smile and a wink. I grabbed the tankard and in my own struggles with digesting and swallowing the dross being fed to me, I raised it in the air for some reason as if it was a spasm. As if it was habit in Avernum, the gatherers at the table raised their own and clacked it against mine.

"Yay!" They all said in unison. I ignored the randomness and drank the ale as much as I could. I truly thought I was going to cry tears of blood from the mixture of lizard, mushroom bread and soup, and whatever was in the ale.

It came to pass, that I was soon out in the street behind the inn, vomiting every last bit of the food I tried so hard to swallow. After several minutes of coughing and wheezing and leaning against the back wall for support, the nausea had stopped. My brain began spinning again. Most thoughts were about the possibility of starvation if I can't get used to eating lizards and fungus, but other thoughts were on how much I wish I was back at home in DC. A light sigh escaped my lips as I looked up at the blue and green lit cavern ceiling. I did give a soft smile to myself as I did find a silver lining into being trapped in Avernum. At least it's is a bit peaceful in comparison to the sounds of traffic and the occasional turf war between gangs. It might not actually be so bad being in Avernum for a while. That thought was however cut short as I heard footsteps close in behind me and then _**WHACK!**_

After what felt like mere seconds after the surprise crowning by some blunt object I awoke to the sounds of the fort's bell tolling to alert its denizens that it was eight o'clock. I looked up and noticed I was in quite a predicament. My hands were tied together by a very abrasive rope that led all the way up to a rafter. I was thankful that my captor at least put a crate under my feet so I wasn't hanging by my hands. My eyes scanned the room a bit and realized I was indoors in a wooden enclosure similar to a barn. There was barely any light visible but I could make out crates, barrels, and troughs that were spaced sporadically throughout the space. It also appeared that I was in a fenced in enclosure within the building, like a feeding area for creatures…oh shit! I was willing to bet I was tied up James Bond style to be fed alive to lizards.

"Eight hours pas' 'alf day an' all 's well!" A voice in the distance called out.

"Speak for yourself!" I yelled out knowing full well that the timekeeper couldn't hear me.

"Save thine breath, surface dweller." A familiar voice called out from the shadows. I was able to spin around on my tip toes and say a tall figure with long hair sitting on a tall stack of crates, much like an evil king upon a throne. He held up a lantern to his face as he gave an impolite sneer. It was Segar, the first guard I met while in the fort's prison cell.

"Ah. Good to see ya, guardie. Or should I call you…Segar?" I bantered back towards him as I did while his captor. His face soured at the sound of his name from my lips. "Ooooh, I see you are a bit butthurt from me knowing your name. I got a few other names in mind I could call you, if you'd prefer."

"It matters not, wretch." A wicked sneer appeared across his face as he crossed his arms in a confident fashion. "Thy death may arrivest soon for thee. I carest only for the truth."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Another crummy interrogation!? Really? Wasn't two enough for you Avernites?"

"I was not satisfied! Thou art a liar and I knowest this to mine soul!" His voice raised a few levels in volume. "Thou art from the Empire!"

"That is bullshit!" I yelled back. "What do you have against this Empire you hate so much? You haven't seen them ever in your lifetime and yet you loathe them! What have they done to you?"

"Look around, ye bastard!" Segar reacted aggressively actually standing up on his stack of crates with his arms outstretched. "Avernum is a hell that my ancestors were sentenced to a goodly length ago. Their bloodlust and hunger for power forever sentenced us all to this life here. It is a life of misery and pain, while the Empire sits on the surface on their asses in comfort. After the loss of the portal and access to the surface, they hath not done anything to aid us escape. They were behind it all! I am sure of it! Those Empire bastards! Damn them all!"

"If they are they are as evil as they say and have done nothing. Then, why am I here tied up?" I shot a glance to him. His eyes coldly glanced back at me knowing I just poked a hole in his logic.

"I know not of why ye are here, however, I despise you, surface dweller." Segar's voice grew colder. "I despise you will all of my being."

"That is truly sad." I shook my head. "You don't know anything about me, or this Empire of which you speak, and yet you feel nothing but hatred for them and me. It is such a horrible way to live your life."

"SILENCE, CRETIN!" He roared out. "I needest not thine words." He then whistled to a large cloaked figure by a door. He was standing next to another cloaked figure. I couldn't tell, but their silhouettes looked vaguely familiar. "Release the lizards!" My blood immediately ran cold as I turned around and saw several pairs of yellow eyes glowing in the darkness slowly crawling and making their way towards me. I quickly began fumbling around with my wrists trying to get them free from the rope binding them to the rafters. Their hisses began to echo in my ears as the flashbacks of the lizard climbing the fence replayed in my memory. "Surface dweller, speak the truth and ye might yet survive this encounter." Segar called out again. "Why art thou here?"

"Do you honestly think I'm going to answer that when there are things trying to eat me?" A lizard was now at my feet. Its eyes glaring evilly at me as it let out a hungry hiss.

"Answer the question!" Segar demanded. "Answer it, or become a meal for these lizards."

I closed my eyes and braced for the end of my life. I could tell that the lizards were beginning to climb the crate and were soon to climb my legs, possibly eating them. There was a sudden thunk to the side of the wooden crate and I heard some rustling beneath me. I couldn't believe the sight when I opened my eyes, a knife was lodged between my feet. The sight of it must've startled the lizards as they have now backed away from around me.

"Who is here!?" My former guard shouted out to the rafters. A shadowy figure, which appeared to be in a hooded robe, dropped down from the rafters and landed in front of me. I could see in the faint amount of light that it was my interrogator, Father Michael. His head was turned away from me with the hood up, but I could tell he was giving a long cold stare to the lizards. Whatever look he was giving them, must have been brutal, as they hissed and quickly backed away and made their way back to their place of origin.

"Segar of Cotra, I am severely disappointed in thine actions." Michael turned his head, his glasses reflected the dim light from the lantern and his eyebrows arched down. He then turned and gave the same look to the other cloaked figures that have just closed the doors, sealing the lizards behind it. "As for ye Hann and ye Wilkin for aiding Segar in this unwarranted capture."

"We are sorry, Your Honor." Wilmot bowed in apology and respect to the high ranking magician. "Joseph may have been sent from the Empire and we wanted to be sure."

"Was not my interrogation of Joseph enough?" The older Avernite spoke more loudly. "What right did you have to question him further and to such vile standards?" There was immediate silence in the room before Hann lowered his head.

"None, Y'r Hon'r." The big beastmaster said while looking down and away in shame of his actions.

"How farest thou, Joseph?" Michael turned to me and spoke more gently and softly. He then began slicing his knife through the binding between my hands and the rafters.

"I don't know." I said in jest. "Was in prison, got out of prison, was interrogated three different times, was tied up, nearly eaten by lizards, and had the worst tasting dinner in my entire life. I'd say I had a pretty bad day." The priest's knife finally worked its way through the rope and I was finally free. I slapped my hands against my thighs and wiggled by fingers to get feeling back into them.

Father Michael looked around and cleared his throat for his audience to hear. "I will speak to each of thee further on this incident. For now, this matter is resolved. Joseph and I will be leaving. If any of the lot of ye try to stop us, by my thoth, mine wrath will fall upon thee in more painful ways than can be counted by the most educated scholar. Let us be going, Joseph."

The wise priest began moving, but for some reason my legs wouldn't move. I felt a sudden surge of either courage, or pure rage, or a combination of the two. It was rising within my being as my body froze and felt heated at the same time. Michael stared at me with a look of concern.

"Joseph? Art thou leaving?" He asked in a polite yet concerned tone.

"No." My body began trembling with adrenaline and anger. "No. This matter isn't resolved yet. There is a matter that can only be resolved by one way and only one way." I turned and faced my captor and began to yell towards him. "Segar! Let's settle this! I challenge you to a duel!"

I couldn't believe that just escaped my lips. Did I just seal my fate?

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 3

Avernum/Fort Avernum/Ermarian created by Jeff Vogel and Spiderweb Software

Joe/Derric/Princess Alexandria/Segar/Hann/Wilkin/Wilmot/Rosa/Father Michael by Bravo Brokehoof


	4. Chapter 3 -- Escape Plan

ADVENTURES IN AVERNUM

Chapter 3: Escape Plan

I gritted my teeth with a look of pure rage, but I was actually terrified. I just challenged a skilled swordsman to a fight and now there is no backing out of it. Not unless I wanted to show Avernum that I truly was a spineless coward and will be nothing more than a coward. I made my way to the center of the feeding pin and held my hands out and declared war towards my captor.

"Come down and face me, Segar." I demanded. "I will not turn and run."

"Thou art very brave, surface dweller." Segar said as he approached from the shadows with the lantern in hand. He placed it beside his feet and gave a defiant sneer in my direction. "Thou art also a fool."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." I said as I stood toe to toe with my foe. Father Michael approached from behind and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Be not a fool, Joseph." His voice was a little low but with a hint of concern. "This is a fight ye cannot win."

"I don't care, Father." I said keeping my eyes locked into Segar's gaze. "This is a battle that I can't run away from. If I run now, then what am I going to do if I get kidnapped and tortured again? Do I just give up any time I face an opponent that is stronger than me? I couldn't face myself in the mirror if I did that."

"Thou art unarmed." The knight boasted as he crossed his arms. "What art thou going to fight with? Thine fists against mine sword?" He gave a low chuckle.

"I'm glad you find it funny." I said adding my own confident snark and smirk to it. "We'll see if it's just as funny as this surface dweller kicks your trained ass." Segar gave another chuckle and snapped his fingers to his henchmen in the deed of capturing me…Hann and Wilkin.

"Wilkin, lend him thy sword." He commanded his eyes never leaving my own. The cloaked innkeeper obeyed and approached from behind me and drew his sword. He handed it to me by the hilt. I gripped it and examined my loan. It was a type of short sword with a typical medieval style guard above the grip. Sadly it wasn't the best built sword. The blade appeared to be made of a type of sharpened stone and the grip was a mix of leather and wood of some nature that I'm not quite sure of its origin. I believe it might be wood from the trees I saw growing down here in the cave. I sure hope the whole ensemble is strong enough to withstand blows from Segar's full metal sword.

"Good luck, my Goodman." Wilkin said with a light bow and walked back to his place next to the door.

"Yeah….whatever." I huffed as I gripped the sword and felt it completely unbalanced in my hand.

It should be known that I did take some fencing classes while I was in college as an extracurricular activity. It was truly more of a hobby than anything. Sadly, I'd never been in a swordfight outside of the fencing club, and even then, that was several years ago since I last touched a fencing foil. I was truly hoping that it'd be like riding a bike. I was getting the feeling I should have had my training wheels on as this sword was much heavier than the foil I was used to. I had to switch from a one handed grip to two in order to steady the blade…if it could be called that.

"Joseph, art thou ready?" The old monk said with a soft concern in his eyes. I was sure he thought I had truly lost my marbles by challenging Segar. But in his heart, he knew it was something that needed to happen.

"I believe so, Father." I gave a nod. Michael then turned to my opponent.

"Segar, art thou ready?" He asked.

Segar grinned and withdrew his sword fully from its sheath and held it ready. "I am." He simply responded, focusing his eyes solely on me.

"I will and shall not interfere within this battle." Michael announced and then threw out his hands and a blue magical barrier surrounded the area around Segar and I. "And neither shall anyone else. I will drop the magical barrier once one of the lot of ye resigns or death claims ye."

"I am going to enjoy this, surface dweller." The cocky guard said as he took a stance for an attack.

"Go eat shit, shit eater." I fired back unimpressed by his behavior. That truly wasn't my strongest insult, but it was the best I could come up with in the heat of the moment.

My teeth were grit tight as I gripped to my sword in anticipation for Segar's first attack. I could hear my heart pound harder and faster with each passing second. He shifted his feet a little and it was enough to cause me to flinch and swing my sword. It was an awful attempt the weight of the stone blade through my balance too far forward and my accidental attack was easily deflected to the side causing me to lose my balance even more. I tripped over my own feet and fell belly down on the cold floor. Segar gave out a heavy laugh as I pushed myself up.

"Pray tell, surface dweller. Is that honestly the best ye can manage?" The cocky guard shot a demeaning look and lowered his guard for a second. "For if it is, I would suggest ye giving up now."

"Shut up." I said as I readied my sword again. The damn thing was so awkward to hold into any kind of appropriate stance. I tried my best to not show any more signs of weakness in front of my opponent, but who was I kidding? Segar readied his sword again and shot me a confident, condescending smirk.

"I hope thou art ready, because I am preparing my attack." He said as he shifted his feet more. I tried my best not to focus on them. But before I could blink, I saw the flash of his blade in the torchlight, I held my sword up to block it. I successfully avoided injury from the first blow and saw the upswing of his blade in a second attack. I swung down, but the force of his offense sent my blade up with it leaving me exposed. Knowing I was unable to react in time to defend my body, BAM! Segar's right foot swung up and made direct contact with my ribs. I stumbled and shuffled sideways. The grip on my blade started to fail as I attempted to erect myself back into a stance. POW! Segar connected a left hook to my jaw knocking me over in the opposite direction. My recently harmed ribs slammed down onto the craggy surface as my hands couldn't catch myself from the previous barrage of attacks. The combination of the kick, punch, and fall left me dazed and gasping for air for a few seconds. Segar continued to laugh like a sadistic hyena as I struggled to push myself up.

"Father, I believe this weakling is done." Segar sneered and prepared to sheath his sword. "Drop the barrier."

I could see Michael begin to raise his hands and prepare to recant his previous spell. But before he could utter a word, I had stood and called out. "Don't! This fight is not over." I was using this sword as a crutch now at least until I felt the strength in my legs return. My left hand was holding my ribs as if to dull the pain away somehow. Blood had filled my mouth to the point where I had no choice but to spit it out on to the floor. With a quick wipe of my face with my soiled white sleeve of my shirt, I mustered my strength to hold the sword and get into a stance. Segar simply rolled his eyes and unsheathed his sword again and quickly attacked this time. I survived a few quick swings, but once again his force affected my grip and balance and soon I was exposed again. He punched me once more which caused my clutch on my weapon's hilt to fully release. As the stone blade landed on the floor, I saw the gleam of his weapon swinging towards me. The cold steel sliced through my shirt, gashing into my right arm rather deeply. The shock and sudden stinging pain was unbearable as I screamed aloud. It was the first time, I've ever been stabbed or sliced with any time of bladed weapon of any kind and it truly wasn't what I'd call fun. Segar smirked and feinted to swing at me again. I stepped back a few steps.

"What is wrong, surface dweller?" The taller villain mocked with his sword still drawn. "Art thou scared?" Damn it, he was right about me. I was terrified. Physically I could probably withstand a few more hits and maybe another slash or two, but psychologically, I was close to being 'done'. He stepped forward and swung once again. This time I ducked and dodged the attack. I spun my feet around and prepared to sprint away in hopes that maybe I could get some distance, regroup, and try again. Suddenly there was a flash of blue in my eyes and a sudden pain like I just ran face first into a brick wall. In a matter of speaking, I didn't run into a wall, but the damn magical forcefield that Michael had put up to keep any interference out. I held my face, especially my nose, and collapsed to the floor. Again, Segar was nearly dying of laughter. Hann and Wilkin ran over to the other side of the barrier as Father Michael ran to my aid.

"How farest thou, Joseph?" The older magic caster placed a hand on my shoulder as he examined my injuries. "Doth thou want to continue this fight?" His eyes showed serious concern for my health and wellbeing.

"Prithee, my Goodman, do not continue." Wilkin said from the other side of the barrier with the same look of concern.

"Aye, m' g'dm'n." Hann nodded in agreement. Even I have to agree that maybe continuing this fight wasn't in my best interest. After all, I'm barely able to block any of his attacks much less land one of my own. I looked my hand as it was now stained red with blood from the wound on my arm. I could feel the cold trickle blood running down my nose and mouth as well. With a firm tug, I loosened and removed the necktie and tied it around my wound like a makeshift bandage. Michael's glasses reflected the flames of the nearby torches as he adjusted his glasses.

"There is no shame in admitting defeat at this time." He spoke. "Perhaps thou art trying too hard to belong amongst Avernites."

"Trying too hard to belong…." I muttered to myself aloud. That phrase struck a chord as memories flooded back. That was the same advice I received from my fencing instructor when I kept getting frustrated with not being as good as my fellow students. I tried too hard to be a proper fencer like they were. Though my instructor suggested never trying any of my hyperactive antics during the Olympics or any serious tournaments, he stated that perhaps I should let go of my inhibitions and focus on just being me in a match. I gave a smile to myself as I propped myself back up using the sword as a crutch once more. I winked at Father Michael and wiped away stray blood from my face. "Thanks for the words of advice, Father." I nodded. "But, this duel is still on."

"Thou art truly a fool, surface dweller." Segar sneered and stepped back into a stance. I continued to walk within paces of his position.

"That I already know, Segar." I shot him a confident smirk. "But one thing you should know about me. I have a name. It's Joe. You will remember that name for eternity once I defeat you." My confidence and new found self-assurance must've triggered my adrenaline as all the pain and injuries I've sustained thus far in the fight had now faded into nothingness. Energy seemed to be coursing through my veins as if I was a kid who was psyched and ready to run for miles. I took a deep breath and held the sword in my right hand and only in my right hand. For the first time, I actually felt natural with the blade in my grasp. My left hand tucked itself behind my back with a loosely clinched fist. My feet were balanced and apart. The stance felt like sure perfection. Segar stared at the display and snorted with a slight cynical laugh.

"What stance is that?" Segar pointed at me as if he's never seen a fencer before in his life.

"MY stance." I responded, but kept the confidence up. "If you don't like it, you can always just give up right now and admit defeat."

"Prepare thyself." Segar lunged forward. The gleam of the sword's blade seemed almost as if it was in slow motion. I was easily able to deflect the blade as well as the secondary attack the shortly followed as well as the third. The guard's expression quickly changed from confidence to disbelief. "How...?"

"…am I doing this?" I interrupted. "I bet you'd like to know." With a wink of my eye, I returned to my stance. My adversary simply growled in anger and frustration and made a very brash attack that was entirely too predictable. With a slight lean, I dodged the trajectory of his attack and saw an opening. I thrusted my sword outwardly and used only enough force to tap his shoulder with the blade, but not enough to break the skin. "Touch!" I smiled as I finally made contact with my foe. He froze with a look of shock and confusion for a few moments then snapped back into a look of sheer anger. Segar leapt backwards a few feet and held his sword back into his usual position for attack. For the first time, he looked more defensive then offensive. "Are you getting scared, Segar?"

"Silence, surface dweller." He growled and began to slowly circle around me. I followed his movement, keeping my eyes focused on his. Segar lunged forward, I was able to quickly parry his blade away and lunge myself forward. Sadly, the tip was smacked away before it could make contact. I saw the sheen of his sword in the pale light of the lantern amongst the darkness. Though the swing of his attack was swift, I was still able to duck under it and then leap over his following attack to my legs. Despite the fact that I had been wounded a few times during this bout, I somehow found myself having fun, though that could be just the adrenaline and hyperactivity mixing themselves within my body and spirit. I think the smile on my face only infuriated Segar even more. The more he got pissed off, the worse his form became. His arcs were extremely sloppy and predictable. Soon, my own parries and counters were actually creating openings in his defense. I was actually beginning to make slight contact with the tip of my blade. With each one, I called out 'touch' as if I was scoring points in a fencing tournament. Hell, I even got behind him once and smacked him in the ass with the blade. I thought it was funny, I'm sure he did not. He once again leapt away and glared at me heavy with breath. There was a shimmer of blue light just steps behind him. An endgame was now in view, I just had to get him to fall into my trap.

I smiled and screamed and charged at him like a madman. He blocked, just as he should have and just as I wanted him to. I swung my sword like a baseball bat and once again he blocked. This time his feet slid backwards a bit more. With one last wild swing, he backed right into the corner of the magical barrier. My plan was now coming to a close as I performed a simple, yet difficult fencing technique…a disengage. I feinted a basic lunge, but quickly, circled my blade under his. Instead of going for a touch, I aimed my blade for his throat, the point just under his chin. Segar gasped and looked at me with wide and shivering eyes. His grasp on fear soon got ahold of him as his grasp on his own sword failed. His weapon crashed to the floor with a loud clang that echoed throughout the storeroom. Victory was now mine!

"Do it." Segar said with his eyes now closed. His body still shivered as he was waiting for a quick death. "It is what thou wants, is it not?"

"Nah." I responded with my usual snarkiness. "You must not have remembered what I've said. I'm not a killer and I'm not from this Empire you hate so much. I hope I've made myself clear now." Segar slowly nodded. "Good." That is all I could get out as soon my vision began to blur and my body began to feel limp. It appeared that my adrenaline had just worn off and now fatigue from my injuries was taking me over once again. My grip on the sword failed as the stone weapon fell to the floor with a loud bang. With my legs wobbly and numb feeling, I waddled my way away towards Michael, who was just releasing the magical barrier from the battlefield. It wasn't three steps before I felt my entire body collapse to the cold stone surface beneath me. I could faintly hear footsteps racing towards me as my eyes forcibly shut from exhaustion. I was even too tired to even enter a dream.

There was soon a warm feeling that was enveloping my entire body. It felt like the warmth of the sun on the first day of spring after a horrible winter. My eyes opened. Secretly, I was hoping I was in heaven, or at least back home in DC. With a few blinks, it realized I was back into my cruel reality. I was in some dimly candlelit room on a bed. There was a strange reddish glow surrounding me. It looked like some sort of nasty smoke. I panicked and tried to scurry away from it, but a firm hand quickly grabbed my shoulder and forcibly shoved me back into a laying position on the lumpy mattress.

"I pray thee, lay down." Though I wasn't looking directly at him, I knew instantly that it belonged to Father Michael. I rolled my eyes to the side while keeping the rest of my body stiff and unmoving. The older magician gave a slight push of his spectacles back up the bridge of his nose. It was almost his way of saying 'hello'. He then proceeded to lay his hands above me and emitting the red smoky light around me.

"What are you doing, Father?" It is always going to be the question to ask when there is a person standing over top of you and magically creating strange light out of nothing but his hands. Admittedly, I was a bit frightened. Stuff like this doesn't normally happen on Earth, unless you're David Blaine or in a movie or anime. The magic ceased for a moment when Michael spoke for a second.

"Fear not, Joseph." He spoke and clapped his hands together a bit; similar to how one does when they go numb.

"He is casting a full healing spell." Wilkin interrupted. I arched up and I could see the top of his bald head in the far corner of the room as it reflected some of the candlelight. "It is a very difficult spell to cast and does require time and concentration. Prithee, do not speak with him until the spell is complete."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and was quickly shoved back to the mattress again. For a guy up in age, Michael sure was strong and forceful. He outstretched his hands again and the magic again flowed around me. "So Wilkin, where am I now?"

"Thou art in a room at mine inn." The innkeeper responded. He huffed a bit and changed his tone. "I must apologize for our actions earlier. I should not have…"

"…leant me that excuse for a sword?" I interrupted.

"Pardon!?" Wilkin and Michael both shouted in unison. From their stunned expressions, it wasn't what they were expecting to hear. Michael's concentration broke and the spell ceased again.

"Yeah, that is all I want to hear apologies for. That stone sword sucks!" My exclamation left the room in silence for a few moments. Wilkin then burst into gut busting laughter, which gave Michael a silent chuckle and then a smile. After pushing his glasses up his nose once more, Michael returned to using his magic to heal my injuries.

"Are all surface dwellers as strange as ye?" Wilkin howled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Nope." I responded. "I'm one of a kind."

"Segar must now be humbled after such a defeat by the likes of ye." Wilkin nodded. "He may just think twice before scheming to capture and interrogate anyone again. 'Twas beauteous and fortunate that Father Michael was able to spy ye before Segar gutted ye like a lizard."

What Wilkin just said brought into memory a long awaited question. "That reminds me, Father, how did you even know where to find me?" This of course caused Michael's magical flow to cease once more. He sighed a bit and adjusted his specs in a fashion that all I could see was the glare from the dim candlelight over his eyes. He reached into his pouch and removed a balled up wad of paper. He began to straighten it and that's when I noticed something about it. It wasn't just any paper; it was ruled notebook paper with the frayed edges still haphazardly hanging along its long ends amongst the three holes. The page was also pink. Without even reading what was written, I knew immediately who it belonged to.

"Jennie…" I thought out loud as I tried to push myself up. I wasn't able to get very far, before the priest's strong hands were planted on my shoulders and were repositioned back into bed. By that, I meant I was shoved down onto my back.

"I pray thee, remain down and continue to rest and heal." Michael said in a gentle tone, which was in great contrast to his previous actions. "I will tellest thou the tale of how I came across this." I responded with a nod and laid my head back on the pillow, but kept my eyes locked on him. He returned the gesture, cleared his throat, and continued his conversation. "Upon thy arrival to Avernum, I grew curious about how thy genesis had come to fruition. Therefore, I had trekked beneath the fort to the entrance tunnels of old. Doth thou rememberest the tale Derric told about finding you?" I nodded in acknowledgement to his question as he continued. "In my own curiosity, I made haste to scour the grounds for any relevant clue that could possibly lead Avernum on an exodus back to the surface once more. I knowest not of the time I had spent in the tunnels, but it had appeared all for naught. That was until I heard the faintest of sounds. I then spied a peculiar ball of paper on the cavern floor just within the light of my lantern. I unraveled it and saw what looked like haphazard strokes of a quill. Within moments, another ball of paper had appeared at my feet. This one revealed a crude drawing of thy face, Joseph." Michael showed me the paper and indeed it was a rather crude sketch of me. That was about as polite as I could call a drawing from Jennie.

"That's definitely the artwork of my friend, Jennie." I smiled and clenched ahold of the crinkled sheet as the older priest handed it to me.

"That is what ye truly label as artwork in thy world, Joseph?" Michael had a seriously confused look on his face. I couldn't help but chuckle. Her drawings were very abstract at best…at least I hope I didn't have a nose that big. Kudos to Michael are in order for at least recognizing that it was supposed to be me though.

"It's an acquired taste." More chuckles escaped but I suppressed them and tried to return to a serious face. "But, please, go on with your story."

"Oh yes, I bid thee thanks." He removed his glasses and wiped them a bit. "I was able to deduce that this was an attempt from thy world to communicate with ours and that by some weird sorcery, thy world was able to see ours. It took several hundred moments before my eyes could spy how this was accomplished. It appears that thy friend, Jennie as thou hast named her, has a familiar that has only one glowing red eye like a lava bat."

I immediately broke into laughter. "That'd be a camera. It's a machine that allows us to see things and record them for later viewing. When I activated the portal, I sent a small camera through it to see what was on the other side. It apparently is still attached and working." To this day, I'm not sure how it was able to still be working as it magically poked through a solid rock cave ceiling, but thank goodness it did. Michael cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Father. Please continue."

"I bid thee thanks, Joseph." He nodded and continued. "Upon the discovery, I held up the…artwork…to the…camera was it? I gave a nod to show in good faith that I knowest thou. In an instant, another crudely folded letter arrived and lay at my feet. I had also had paper in my pouch, so I began my own attempt at communication. Indubitably, there is a language discrepancy between thy world and Avernum, but we were able to converse for several hundreds and thousands of moments. I believest in mine heart, that in good faith, thy world knowest that thou art well and safe here. 'Twas what I thought before I found thee in the clutches of Segar."

"Well, that's great to know they have been worried about me." I sighed and continued to clutch onto the picture that Jennie drew of me. It was the first glimpse of my own world I've seen since my arrival here. "But, Father, you still didn't tell me how you knew I was kidnapped by Segar."

"Thou needeth to rest, Joseph." He said once more in a more serious tone. There was too much glare from the candlelight in his glasses for me to see his eyes. Soon he put a hand over my eyes. I struggled a bit, but as I heard the word _'Sleep'_ uttered by the priest, I was instantaneously out like a candle in the wind.

I couldn't remember, much about what I had dreamt about that night, probably only thoughts of how I thought Father Michael is a bit of an asshole for magically putting me to sleep without answering my questions. Or maybe dreams of what it must be like at home or to see Jennie's smile once more. But regardless, I was truly at peace and was sleeping comfortably at Wilkin's inn. Soon my senses started to come back to me as the smell of food nearby soon drug me out of my slumber. I yawned and stretched.

"Wait a second…" I thought to myself quietly. I removed my necktie from my arm and stared at the slash wound I received from Segar the night before. Miraculously, it had now scarred over and was nearly invisible. "…that's incredible. I don't feel any pain anywhere." I stood up and bent and stretched and moved and not a single sting of pain prevented me from doing so. The healing spell Michael had cast upon me had worked like a charm. Please pardon the pun, I truly couldn't help it. Though my tie was now bloodstained from being a makeshift bandage, I still felt inclined to keep it on my person as a piece of home, and back around my neck it went. Soon after, I made my way down the crude staircase down the tavern portion of the Inn.

"Good wakes, my beauteous guest." Rosa smiled and winked. She walked up upon me into my personal space and whispered in my ear. "I hopest thou art hungry. I made my best soup with ye in mind, my goodman." The innkeeper's wife inhaled my scent like a wanton wolf and gave a weird moan of pleasure. It truly was creepy, but at the same time erotic. She winked and walked off behind a door and out of view. Upon one of the tables was a small steaming wooden bowl of…something. I was starving at this point, and considering I vomited my last meal, my body needed the nourishment.

I sat down behind the bowl and stared at the putridly bland grey substance. Sweat beaded up on my forehead stressfully as I saw the soup bubble a bit as a chunk of mushroom floated to the surface from the bottom of the bowl. My stomach rumbled a bit hungrily and I let out a sigh. I grasped the bowl from both sides and lifted it up to my mouth as I began to desperately slurp the swill down. My eyes popped open wide in disgust as the slimy texture slide past my taste buds and down to my gullet. I coughed and slammed down the bowl and started chugging a tankard of water to clear my taste buds. It was then I saw a lit lantern and a small filled sack. Under the sack was a handwritten note. The court bells tolled off in the distance. I counted 9 low tones in all.

"Nine hours 'fore 'alf day an' all 's well!" A voice called out. I couldn't help but check my watch. Still couldn't believe that they were able to tell time perfectly without modern convenience or even sunlight.

I stepped over to the lantern and took a look at the letter. It was addressed to me, though the letters appeared slightly different than our own, it was still somehow legible to me. My eyes scanned across the paper as I deciphered the letters and read the message.

 _"Joseph,_

 _I pray thee for forgiveness. Thy rest was crucial for the healing spell. I have left a few tokens of gratitude for thee. The lantern is to help illuminate the tunnels, if thou choosest to visit them this day. In addition, I have left gold for thee to acquire a weapon and a personal guard if ye seekest one. I pray to thee, be safe and meet back at the inn by the sixth hour past half day, for there is something of most importance that we must discuss._

 _Father Michael of Fort Avernum"_

After folding the note a few times, I pocketed the note as a reminder to myself about the mentioned appointment. I then tied the sack tightly to my belt and took up the lantern. It was time to check in with work.

I paid a quick visit to Derric at his post. With his usual cheery smile, he escorted me to the tunnel where he found me. Sadly, he could only escort me to the tunnel entrance, but flashed a smile departing back to his duties. Unlike the rest of Avernum, these tunnels were much darker despite the luminescent moss, and the feeling of claustrophobia was nearly suffocating. It was hard to describe, it was almost like the darkness just emanated out from the walls and ceiling and gave the atmosphere a feeling of dread. There was no sound, except distant cave drips and an occasional wind gust. Well, there was a lone bat that swung past my head that made me shriek like a school girl for a few seconds, but let's not go further into that. I continued trekking beneath the fort and soon I arrived at a dead end. There was nothing but a solid wall of rock before me. I sat the lantern down at my feet and felt and knocked along the wall in hopes that it was an illusion, but sadly, it was solid and impenetrable. Looking at the situation, it really makes one think aloud.

"How the Hell did I even get here!?" I screamed aloud in frustration as there was no logical explanation that could be solved by anything known in my world. Then I chuckled a bit to myself. "Oh, I keep forgetting. I'm in a world where magic is common." Just then, I heard a slight rustling sound nearby. With all the suffocating darkness, I was on edge and quickly swung around expecting to see some demonic monster or Segar or something. No creature in was in the light of the lantern, but I did see a pink balled up note that wasn't around before. A smile lit up on my face as I knelt down and picked it up. I unraveled it and saw read it.

 _"JOE!"_ Is what it said in big bold letters. I'm guessing Jennie used up nearly half of the ink in her Sharpie to write it, considering how big and how dark the letters were. I held up the paper and smiled and made a slow 360 in hopes that Jennie might be able to see that I've received the note. Then another note appeared. This exchange was beginning to feel like elementary school with passing notes back in forth in class to the girl you secretly liked, but didn't want anyone else to know about.

 _"Are you okay?"_ The following note read out. I responded with thumbs up. Suddenly there was a loud crash as something fell onto my head. It wasn't heavy thankfully, but still hurt. I raised the lantern to it and discovered it to be a white board and beside of was a marker and eraser. I could tell Jennie was looking for a more thorough reply from me.

 _"I'm doing okay, but homesick."_ I scribbled onto the board and held it up.

 _"We have alerted the authorities about what has happened to you. They'll be joining you shortly."_ After reading this, I hastily scribbled a response.

 _"NO!"_ I put in big letters that nearly took up the entire length of the board. After a fast wipe down, I gave a lengthy explanation. _"Anyone who comes here will be trapped like the people here. Don't worry. I'll find a way out. I promise. But until then, do not let anyone else enter nor disable the portal."_

 _"What are you planning to do?"_ Jennie wrote in response via another note. We exchanged conversation back and forth like this for quite a while as if we were having an ancient form of instant messaging. I explained all my plans as well as the current events I had dealt with since my arrival in Avernum. She of course was worried about me and missed me, but I continued to assure her that I was doing well and will find a way back. After all, she knew me better than anyone that I always found a way to do something that seemed impossible. I soon realized that I had spent more hours than I had ever intended to spend in the tunnels.

 _"I have some errands I need to do. I have to go."_ I wrote with a sad expression. I could have spent all day talking with my best friend. Another note arrived. At this point I had lost count of how many sheets of pink paper Jennie had gone through in our exchange. I was a bit surprised by what I read when I unraveled it.

 _"Please come back tomorrow at about the same time. I have some surprises for you."_ Jennie wrote out. Surprises? What kind of surprises was she going to surprise me with? I truly couldn't wait to find out. I hid the whiteboard behind a few stalactites and blew a kiss in all directions. With the lantern in hand, I began to back track through the tunnels towards the fort once more.

Back on the 'surface' of Fort Avernum, I reveled in the atmosphere of the more open cave air and the hustling and bustling of their daily life and just in time to hear the bell toll. To my surprise, it rang only thrice.

"Three hours pas' 'alf day an' all 's well!" The timekeeper called out.

"Three in the afternoon!?" I screamed out in shock. I had spent half the day getting through the tunnels and talking with Jennie. That only leaves me four hours before needing the meet up with Father Michael at the inn. If I was to do any shopping, I needed to do it post haste. After a quick stop to return the lantern, I literally bumped into Wilkin. After a quick inquisition about where to find and purchase equipment I might need for survival in Avernum, he nodded and supplied me with the necessary information.

"Aye, my Goodman." The bald innkeeper smirked as he made an invisible map with his fingers. "There is a daily merchant bazaar yonder in the northeast corner of the fort. Tis betwixt the north and east gates an' by the water. Ye best make haste, my Goodman. Most merchants make their leave by the fifth hour past 'alf day."

"Thanks, Wilkin." I said as I darted out of the inn with as much gusto as I could manage. Swerving in between soldiers and townspeople and leaping over barrels, I was determined not to miss my chance to protect myself. I huffed and puffed as I finally arrived at the corner. It was just how he had described. Various wooden carts, tables, and blankets were lined up around a large pool of stagnant water. The stale cave air was filled the buzzing of several townspeople, soldiers, and vendors making deals to sell their wares. The smell of smoke from nearby fires flooded my nostrils as I approached the busy marketplace. Just about everything was up for sale there…pottery, farm fresh mushrooms, clothing, armor, and of course weapons. There were even a few musicians playing drums, lyres, and horns for the small crowd of buyers. I gently began to maneuver my way in and around and between shoppers until I could get a closer look at what's for sale. The music suddenly went silent and I heard gasps and that was about when things went to Hell in a handbasket.

"The Surface Dweller!" Someone shouted. I almost expected everyone to run away in terror, but quite the opposite happened. I was suddenly mobbed by everyone and I heard a mixture of disbelief and praise. There were so many conversations being thrown at me that I couldn't keep up and could barely make any words out. Some were asking if it's true that I defeated Segar, while some were asking how I got here, and others were asking if I came to rescue them from the underground. Of course I wasn't able to answer much of anything the assault of questions. It was then I knew how a celebrity must have felt in a flurry of fans and paparazzi. Then, the merchants went on the offensive, practically shoving their goods in my face and shouting deals. I think I even was kissed a few times…and I hoped most of them were girls. Suddenly two big hands started moving people aside.

"St'nd as'de! Let th' G'dman c'tch a br'th!" A familiar broken voice sounded followed by a smiling scarred face.

"Hann!" I shouted in excitement at the sight of the big hearted brute.

"Oi, Joe. Ho' b' ye?" He responded with a smile the showed off his lack of teeth.

"I am a bit flustered to be completely honest." I said as a few merchants started to argue amongst themselves over what good s I was worthy of being sold. "I am here to buy myself something to protect myself with."

"OI!" With one mighty yell, the boisterous beastmaster silenced the crowd. "Th' G'dman 's need'n t' speak!" I'm guessing that the mob of merchants and townspeople understood him as they all stood silent with their eyes on me awaiting my speech. I cleared my throat and untied my sack of coins and held it high in the air as if my coins were worth the world.

"I am here to buy a weapon…!" Before I could get any more words out, I was surrounded again. The loud buzz of shouting filled my ears as the merchants aggressively trying to sell me what weapons they had at their stand or on their person. Hann did his best to try to keep people from shoving and getting too personal. The musicians began playing again as they made a soundtrack of drum beats and notes that matched the chaos around the bazaar. Stone daggers and short swords were nearly thrown to or at me so that I might buy them. I did my best to try to quiet the crowd so I could look at every weapon, but there was no stopping these guys. Out of nowhere, a heavy morning star mace was placed into my hands. The sheer weight of it made me fall over onto the ground with a loud thud. There was a sudden burst of laughter amongst the crowd, including Hann. He picked up the bludgeoner with what looked like two fingers and then helped me up.

"Ho' fares't tho', Joe?" He asked with a smile as he tossed the morning star to its merchant. I heard a faint 'oof' from the vendor as it apparently was heavy for him too. "'rt tho' 'urt?"

"I'm alright." I dusted myself off and adjusted my soiled and loosely fit tie. The volume of the marketplace had died down enough for me to speak again. For these peddlers, I'm probably going to be extremely specific as to what I wanted. Once I decided what exactly I was looking for, I cleared my throat and began another exclamation. "I am looking for a sword. I'd prefer it to be made of metal, but light. And maybe something that could be held with one hand. Anyone have one like that?" The merchants whispered and debated amongst themselves as it appears most only carried heavy stone weapons and swords. It almost seemed to be a hopeless cause and I was about to announce a change in my preferences. But then, a female voice sounded over the buzz.

"Oi!" She called out. "I hath but one." A young Avernite girl maneuvered her way through the crowd carrying her ware in both hands as if she was cradling a precious baby. It was a semi-long blade with its bronze hilt and guard peeking from the crude sheath made from leather that has been haphazardly sewn together. She approached and with a respectful bow or curtsey, of which I'm not entirely sure, and gently placed her weapon in both my hands. I held it for a few seconds giving it a quick study with my eyes. The hilt was highly bland as far as ornaments are concerned. The curve of the guard was tarnished and slightly rusty as was the pean block. As for the grip, it was leather strapping that was loosely bonded around the shaft of the sword. I could tell that this sword was quite old and has been in need of upkeep for some time. But, considering what I'm seen thus far in Avernum, luxuries are limited and Avernites are highly resourceful with what is around them. "I can see the disappointment in thine eyes, sir." I looked up and saw that the girl was looking away, nearly hiding behind her long dirty blonde hair. "I apologize that I doth not have the sword thy desires."

"I love it." I responded and beamed with a confident smile. My smile soon softened the girl's gloomy expression into a beautiful grin that could light up even the darkest of caves Avernum has to offer. "I've never had a sword of my own. May I?" I asked as I gripped the handle and prepared to unsheathe the blade. She cupped her hands together under her chin and nodded in approval. As the audience of onlookers backed away, I slowly pulled the sword from its leather casing. While the base of the sword was in need of TLC, the blade itself was one of wonder. It was truly a most gorgeous rapier. The hardened steel glistened in the reflection of the fires surrounding the marketplace, revealing no flaw in the craftsmanship. It was almost as if this was the first time the blade has ever seen life outside of its sheath. I held the sword out and got into my fencing stance. After a few quick practice thrusts and swings, I was more in love with this rapier than I was before. In a lack of word, this sword was pretty much perfect.

"Hehehehe." The young girl chuckled. I flashed a smile and sheathed the blade after doing a Zorro impersonation by carving a Z in the air.

"I'll take it. How much do you want for it?" I asked the merchant. She blushed as shuffled her feet.

"I ask for naught, Sir Surface Dweller." She shyly and quietly spoke, again hiding behind the strands of her straight hair. I was taken back by what she said as there was gasps and buzz from the audience of peddlers.

"Um…did I hear that correctly? Did you just medievally say that you are giving this to me for free?" I was completely puzzled. This sword has to be worth some pretty coin…literally. She just nodded and smiled but with a slight tear in her eye.

"My father crafted the rapier a wee bit before his death. Twas his finest work." She explained. I immediately felt a bit awful. There is no way I could even consider taking this sword from her, even buy it considering its history.

"I'm sorry, hon." I responded and began to return the sword to her hands. She immediately pushed it back into my chest and my hands.

"Nay, I insist." She said nearly scolding me. "My father crafted this blade in hopes of meeting one who favors its simple beauty. One who can wield it with honor and conviction and use it to correct injustice in this world. Methinks, my father would prefer his sword in thine hands, Sir Surface Dweller. So I ask for naught, but to treat the sword of my father with respect and courage."

I nodded and smiled and knelt to be at eyelevel with her. "What is your name?"

"S…Sela." She blushed and stuttered. The blush intensified tenfold when I took her hand and shook it.

"The name's Joe." I gave a wink. "I'm honored to take this sword. But, just so you know, I couldn't take it for free." She trembled a bit and squeaked a bit when she noticed a few silver and a gold coin in her fist. "I insist, Sela. Consider it a gift from me to you."

"Yay, Joe." Sela beamed heartedly and kissed my cheek before speeding away. After that warm tender moment, I could almost feel the doomy aura of glares and dejection from the merchants around me. I turned around and shrugged and faced their scowls.

"What? I still have money…" I said as if I was holding bread for hungry seagulls. Again before I could finish my statement, chaos erupted. This time it was not by my doing, which in itself is a first. I thought a saw a flash of red dash past me followed by a bigger Avernite making chase. There were gasps and screams as people did their best to avoid getting caught up the race. I myself blinked a few times at what I saw.

"Get back hither, ye wee wretch!" The brute shouted. The bigger man was built like a gorilla with his muscles bulging from his torn and worn clothes. He appeared to be hunting down a small boy, who was toting a hobo bag on a stick. His clothes, consisting of a red tunic and black cloth pants, were heavily torn as well.

"Why is he chasing the kid!?" I thought to myself as I spotted them turn the corner and disappear from sight. Suddenly the brute's voice was heard in the distance and my blood ran cold.

"I will slay ye, insect!" He shouted. That did it, I was not going to stand aside and let someone say that to a child. I gripped my newly purchased weapon and darted into that direction. I never have tolerated adults threatening kids very well and I was determined not to let Avernum change that feeling. I finally caught up to them. The thug apparently had caught the smaller Avernite as he was pinned up against the wall of the fort by his throat. I caught a closer glimpse of the captive and realized he wasn't as young as I had originally thought, just short. I would have to guess that he was about 4 foot 7. Scars covered his body and face and his muscles seemed to be quite tone. His jet black hair was exceptionally long and unkempt as it rested all the way down his back. How ever old this Avernite must have been, he surely had to have lived one that must've been rough. He grunted and turned his head to me. I was a bit taken back by the reddish color of his eyes as I had never seen such a color on a human before. Though his eyes were a bit scary at first, they were a certain sincerity and softness to them.

"Help…me…" He seemed to whisper breathlessly to me. I could care less how old this Avernite was, I was not going to let this brute bully him further.

"Hey!" I shouted to grab the thug's attention. The bigger guy turned his ugly bald head towards me and gritted…um…what teeth he had…at me.

"Make thy leave, wretch." He barked coldly as his grip on his prey tightened. "This is of no concern to thee."

"Like Hell it isn't." I unsheathed my rapier and tossed the sheath aside. I then got into my fencing stance. "Now let him go. I don't want to stain this blade. I just bought it." He literally spit at me when he saw me get set for a fight, but ignored my warning as he turned his eyes back over to his captive.

"I warned thee once, insect." He spoke lowly to the smaller man. "Steal from in my territory again and I end thy life with my fists." With that he slammed him hard against the wall. He was about to give him another as I felt my own rage boil over.

"ENOUGH!" I screamed out. "Your fight is with me, dickbag!" I felt my teeth grit one against the other as I tried my best to contain my anger.

"Piss off." He responded lowly and then returned his attention towards me. "I will slay thee after I am finished with this cockroach." He gave me a cold stare. His eyes appeared nearly soulless as if he would have no remorse for fulfilling his threats. My heart began racing and I began to sweat as doubts flooded my thoughts. Without even blinking, he stared into my eyes for what seemed like minutes. I tried my best to match his stare to avoid a sudden attack for which I wasn't yet ready. Something then grabbed my attention that filled me with hope. His face soured more as I suddenly returned his gaze with a confident smirk. I planted the rapier in the ground and leaned on it casually and lazily.

"You're right, it's not my fight." I cackled a little to myself. I then pointed to his right hand. "It's HIS." The death glare on the belligerent Avernite quickly faded to one of shock and fear. While in his grasp, the captive managed prop his legs straight back against the wall to wear he was literally standing on it while being held by throat. The red of his eyes almost seemed to glow with anger as he glared down at his opponent. With a sudden push off the wall, the short bodied Avernite delivered a sharp kick directly to the face of the brute. The larger thug lost his grip on his opponent and stumbled backward but simply rubbed his chin and almost let out a low growl as if he was part animal.

"Ahhhhhhh!" The smaller aggressor yelled out triumphantly as he charged forward. His long mane of hair flowed behind him like a cape as he ran up the bully. With a sudden bound he sprung upwards with a fist and landed it directly into the large man's gut. The impact made the hooligan double over in agony coughing. But, the smaller fighter wasn't done yet. As the bully, leaned over, it was literally over top of Gordon who grabbed a hand and one of his legs, lifting the heavier opponent over his shoulders. The look on the thug's face was of pure defeat as he was bounced and launched backwards and back first to the hard stone ground. He was now literally gasping for air on the ground and struggling to move. The shorter fighter grabbed his hobo stick and unraveled the cloth to reveal that it wasn't just a stick, but instead a trident style spear. With a foot on the chest of the defeated villain, he aimed the center prong under the man's chin and against his throat. I couldn't see the facial expression on the smaller guy, but I bet it was cold. Not another word was said but the bigger man literally crawled away as fast he could from the trident wielder. After a quick sigh of relaxation, the young man turned around and faced me. He smiled brightly with a slight tilt to his head. "Grammarcy, me Goodm'n. Verily, ye saved me life." His voice was a bit lower than I anticipated, but still very light and youthful. I could probably estimate that he was in his early 20's.

"It was nothing." I said while rubbing the back of my head. "So what was that all about?" As soon as I said that, his face softened and his eyes seem to darken a bit. He lowered his face and like Sela, seemed to hide himself under his dark hair. He held out his hand and saw several coins in his palm.

"I be a lowly thief." His voice shook a bit as he muttered these words out. "These are thine."

"Mine!?" I thought to myself as I reached over and patted the side of my hip, where I tied my sack of coins. It had something lumpy inside, but it didn't feel like coins. I untied and rummaged through it to find…pebbles! "What the Hell!?" I muttered aloud as I tried to think of how crafty this thief must be to remove all of my coins and replace them with pebbles. And to top it all off, it was fast enough and careful enough that I didn't even notice or feel him doing it. This thief was extremely skilled in his trade, but very peculiar. Instead of being proud of his abilities or making a dash while the getting is good, he stood before me in his own shame. A trail of tears started to run down his cheek and his fists clenched.

"Verily, I never wanted to be a thief." His voice shook more as he tried to keep choking back tears. "I was hungry and have eaten not four days. And I have not the coins or ability to pay for a small mushroom. Oft, a good man or a fair lady will show pity on me soul and gift me with food so I might eat for the day. Sadly, none showed such kindness these last days." He then looked up at me. His eyes focused in on mine with an intense gaze of justice. His voice grew more solid as he declared to me. "I make no excuse more my life, only just to survive. I welcome any punishment ye bestow upon me."

"Hold on there, trainwreck." I said as I patted his shoulder. "Yes you stole from me, but you made it right by giving me my shit back."

"Why would I steal shit?" The Avernite said in confusion. "There be no use for shit."

"It's an expression." I tried to explain. It was then, the light bulb turned on and I had an idea. "How would you like to be my personal bodyguard?"

"Prithee, jest not." He looked away. "I be way wee to protect ye from danger."

"You obviously didn't see that ass kicking you gave that asshole." I laughed a bit. "I may not be able to offer dental or a 401k, but you'll always have food in your stomach and a place to lay your head at night."

"Art ye sure?" The smaller Avernite shuffled his feet a bit, still unsure of his abilities.

"Absolutely." I nodded and held out my hand. "But, you must promise to never steal from anyone again. Do you accept this offer?"

"I accept." He smiled with glee and took my hand. His auburn eyes danced happily as if not sure what to say next.

"My name is Joe. What's yours?" I continued the exchange as I shook his hand.

"My name be Gordon." The small and cheery man responded. He then took a knee in front of me with his head bowed. I cocked an eyebrow and looked around to see if royalty was behind me.

"Um…Gordon…what are you doing?" I was unsure of why this man was now treating me in such a manner.

"Doth ye have colors for me to wear as thy guard and servant?" Gordon replied with a serious tone. "It is custom for one to wear the colors of his master."

"Oh." I responded as I felt around my body for anything to serve as my 'colors'. Aha…I grabbed at my tie and removed it. I gave a little chuckle and tied it around his left arm. "Blessed be the tie that binds, right?" I wasn't prepared for what happened next. He took my hand and kissed it and then looked up at me.

"By my thoth, I will wear thy colors with pride, Master." He said as if I was some Lord of the Manor. I kind of freaked out a bit by this treatment.

"No need for that." I stuttered a bit. "And don't call me, Master. It makes people think…things. Joe is fine for now." Gordon simply nodded and stood up and replaced the cloth on his trident so that it looks like a hobo stick again. Just then the court bell rang out. To my astonishment, it tolled five times.

"Five hours pas' 'alf day an' all 's well!" The timekeeper called out to the citizens of Fort Avernum.

"For a place without a sun, the day sure goes by quick." I spoke to myself. I then turned to my new personal protector. "Ready to accompany me to the inn?"

"Aye, me Lord." He said with a respectful bow. Gordon picked up my sheath and held it up for me to take from him. I nodded and took the sheath and slid my sword in it and began our way to the inn. We marched our way through the fort as if we owned the town. I was quite impressed with how seriously Gordon was taking his job. He maintained a few step distance between himself and I, all while scanning carefully for any threat that may approach us from the shadows. Other than a few curious glances from soldiers and other citizens, we approached the inn unscathed.

As we opened the door to the inn, only about three other bodies were lazing about the dining hall that greeted any guest that walked in. I continued to gaze through the room as I walked past the warm and cozy fireplace. Two archers sat across from one another at one table. Their bows and quivers rested beside them, just within reach in case if trouble started for them. At another table, there appeared to be a hermit of some nature. A badly patched up and ragged clock covered up the body and gloves were worn over the hands as the person reached out and took a swig from a tankard. His or her back was turned away from us, so there was no telling who was under that cloak. I didn't notice any weapon sitting next to the mystery person, so I decided not to pay the man or woman any mind. There was a sudden bang and then the angry shriek of a woman scorned.

"Wilm't!" The voice sounded in the distance. "G't 'ff the damn sh'lves!" Rosa must have caught her son misbehaving again. The innkeeper stepped out from behind a door wiping holding a towel looking behind him as if he was trying to escape the yelling of his wife. He then spotted me and with a hastened step, he approached Gordon and I.

"Joe!" Wilkin smiled as he approached and shook my hand. If he gripped my hand any harder he was going to break it. I shook off the pain and returned the smile and he continued to speak. "Mine eyes be blessed to spy upon thee this day." He then pulled me in closer and whispered in my ear. "Mine wench of a goodwife hast gone nimble-footed?"

"Nimble-footed!? The hell does that mean!?" I thought to myself. Rosa continued to throw a crazed tantrum as a young voice interjected at moments.

"Who be this young man?" The innkeeper asked as he gazed over my shoulder to see Gordon giggling like a schoolgirl as he warmed his hands by a fireplace.

"Oh, that's Gordon. He's the personal guard I hired." I answered nonchalantly. Wilkin gave a judging glance and pulled me in for another whisper.

"Art thou bloody crazy ye self!?" His voice was unusually gruff. "What type of guard be that short trundletail? Mine son Wilmot be bigger than that wifling!" At this point, Gordon must have overheard some of these insults as he began to ignore the fire and approached. Thankfully, he was smiling charmingly though as he tapped Wilkin on the shoulder. The lithe innkeeper turned around, not sharing the smile with the smaller Avernite.

"G'day, me Goodman." Gordon beamed as he held out his hand. "I be Gordon." Wilkin didn't introduce his name and continued to look down upon him. He did however take his hand with a loose shake and a discontented sigh. What happened next was something Wilkin and I both didn't expect. Gordon gripped his hand tightly enough to make Wilkin wince a bit in pain. The shorter man tugged him down a bit so that the innkeeper's eyes were nearly aligned with his own. "Joe, is this nickpot a burden upon thy person?" His eyes were fierce as the red in them looked as fiery as they did when he took down the big thug near the marketplace. I intervened and broke Gordon's grip from Wilkin and stepped between them.

"Down boy!" I scolded Gordon as if he was a guard dog. "He isn't bothering me." I turned my eyes to my other friend. Wilkin held his wrist and hand as if it was about to break if Gordon held onto it a moment longer. He pulled out a towel.

"Prithee, have a seat." Wilkin said lowly and turned his eyes away from Gordon and myself. If he had a tail, I'm pretty sure it would have been tucked between his legs. He led us over to one of the open tables. It so happened to also be the one that was positioned in front of the cloaked figure enjoying the best rancid Avernite ale that the fort had to offer. "Thou art early for thy tryst with Father Michael. Mayhap, thou likest a tankard of ale for the lot of thee whilst thou wait?"

"Water for me, thanks." I said knowing full well that my gullet isn't capable of swallowing that swill they call ale. The simple thought of its taste still makes me shutter. "Perhaps, some ale, bread, and soup for my friend here though." Gordon placed a few coins, some of the one he once stole from me, on the table. Wilkin looked at the gesture and then the childish, yet genuine smile of Gordon. His own mouth gave a silent smirk before nodding and disappearing behind a door.

"I be sorry for me actions b'fore, me Lord." Gordon said as he lowered his head a bit. He was quickly reminding me of a dog with how he goes from protective, to playful, to guilty, while all the while remaining loyal. The quick mental image of him wearing a collar, puppy ears, tail, and barking gave me a sudden chuckle. He looked up and tilted his head, which really didn't help matters much.

"Don't be too sorry, Gordon." I gave a pleasant smile. "I'm just glad you didn't pull out your weapon on him." That brought up a question I've been meaning to ask since meeting him. "Which reminds me, where did you get it? Did you steal it from somewhere?" He simply shook his head.

"It is me only possession." He responded seriously, but his voice had certain lightness to it. It was as if he was happy to talk to someone about it. "Twas me father's, or so I be told. Both me father and mother died of disease when I be just a wee lad. I know not much about them or where I once lived. A travelin' band of thieves be travelin' through and found me by their bodies. Methinks, they be tenderhearted to take me and raise me 'til I be old enough to survive on me own. The lot of them also be kind enough to save this treasure for me 'til that time. They let me be on me own a few ages ago and I be roaming streets since then. Perchance, I will find out more about me parents one day and mayhap this weapon will lead me to the truth."

"That is quite a tragedy." A low, yet wise sounding voice said behind me. Gordon and I both jumped a bit. Neither of us knew of our sudden audience. I turned around and there was a tall and built guard behind me. He had long flowing silver hair and beard which was equally as flowing and long. He truly looked like a hero had just crawled from the pages from a medieval fairy tale. His armor appeared to be more polished than the other guards I've seen around the fort. His pale bluish grey eyes beamed with a sense of confidence that only made his appearance even more heroic looking. "Art thou the surface dweller that defeated Segar yesterday?" I freaked out and raised my hands as if I was about to be arrested. My voice trembled as did my body as if I had ate too much sugar at one time. My heartrate had to be topping 200 beats per minute by now.

"I'm so sorry, sir." I stammered out as my voice began to quicken. "Ireallydidn'tmeantohurthim. DidIhurthim? IfIdidI'msorry. I'lldoanythingyouaskjustdon'thurt…" He planted a heavy gloved hand on my shoulder. "EEP!" I shrieked

"Breathe, Sirrah. Father Michael told me the full tale." He patted my shoulder. "It not oft enough that one of my soldiers gets taught a lesson in battle outside the training grounds, therefore I had to meetest thou with my own eyes. Thou art not what I would have expected. My name is Paxton, I am the Captain of Fort Avernum. It is a pleasure to makest thine acquaintance, Joseph Smith." He gave me a bow, which was surprising considering his high rank. I returned with a bow of my own.

"Please call me Joe, Captain." I responded politely. Gordon stood up from the table and bowed as well. "This is Gordon. He's my bodyguard." I only felt it necessarily to introduce him. Paxton gave him a slight smirk but a nod.

"A bodyguard, eh?" The captain said as he stroked his beard as he looked him up and down. "Tis a beauteous profession, Gordon. Be sure to hold that rank with high honor and respect. Joe hast spied a lot of potential in thee as have I." Gordon's eyes lit up happily as he bowed yet again.

"Aye." He replied as his toothy grin extended ear to ear.

"Greetings, Joe!" A familiar voice sounded from behind the tall solider. Derric walked up with his usual cheery behavior and trademark squinty eyed smile. I waved my arm around like an idiot, excited to see him.

"Hey Derric! How are you?" I asked.

"I am faring well, my Goodman." He said as he took a seat next to me. Paxton walked over and took a seat next to Gordon. His size was truly making my bodyguard look like a child. "Were thou summoned hither by Father Michael as well?" I simply retorted with a nod. "Splendid!" As if he knew he was being talked about, the old priest made his appearance through the front door of the inn. He had an old patched up cloth sack draped over his shoulder. His hands gripped the rope that bound the sack shut as he stepped his way to us. Michael's stride had a sense of urgent purpose to it.

"Splendid. The lot of ye art all present." The priest said with an alarmingly serious tone. He dropped his sack on the table and quickly untied the knot. "I spent the last hours spying through my research as well as previous research from other mages and priests. Due to the appearance of our first Surface Dweller in many ages, it evident that portals still exist elsewhere and are functional. Methinks, I have uncovered a clue to rebuild our old portal and perchance make it active once more." My heart fluttered a bit hearing that Michael had been working all day on finding a way back to the surface. If his research reveals a successful way to reactive a portal, not only can Avernites be free from this place, but I might actually get back home myself. I jittered in my seat with excitement thinking about all the things I'm already missing back in DC.

"There is a ripple." There was a sudden break in this emotion once these words were uttered by Michael. What could he have meant by ripple? Was there a major flaw in the escape plan? Was my life going to be in danger somehow because of this ripple? So many questions flooded my thoughts as I anxiously awaited more information from Father Michael.

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4

Avernum/Fort Avernum/Ermarian created by Jeff Vogel and Spiderweb Software

Joe/Derric/Segar/Hann/Wilkin/Wilmot/Rosa/Father Michael/Sela/Gordon/Paxton by Bravo Brokehoof


	5. Chapter 4 -- Rats Among Men

ADVENTURES IN AVERNUM

Chapter 4: Rats Among Men

The dining hall of the inn fell silent as our eyes locked onto the deep brown pair of Michael's. He adjusted his glasses and began to speak once more.

"I assume that this aforementioned ripple needest some explaination." The priest said as he cleared his throat and said one word that made the two guards at our table cringe. "Borromeo."

"Borromeo?" I turned and asked Derric completely confused. Could this slang or Avernite military jargon? "What is that?"

"Thou meanest whom is that." Paxton answered with a cold tone in his voice and a sigh. "Borromeo was once a legendary mage in Avernum. Methinks he was even the best at magic in his time."

"Yay, sir." Derric interjected. "His intelligence and power exceeded the other mages and priests that inhabited the Tower Colony before him. And that was when he was a lad."

"Verily it was so." Wilkin said as he came out from one of his doors carrying a few tankards. He placed the tankard of water in front of me and then the tankard of Avernite ale in front of Gordon. The innkeeper then continued to speak. "Twas sad that his thirst for knowledge was so unquenchable, that it cost him to go poop-noddy." Paxton placed a few coins on the table for Wilkin, who nodded, and collected them.

"The King had such favor of the mage, that he solely bestowed upon him the mantle of repairing the portal back to the surface." Paxton added. "Twas when the mind of Borromeo became unhinged."

"Aye." Michael responded with a sigh. "Borromeo was my mentor in magic. By my thoth, my respect was and would always have been giveth freely from me. However, his claims in his research were the borderline of insanity and blasphemy." At this moment, the priest started fiddling with his sleeve. It was much like a child who had witnessed a crime, but afraid to speak about it in fear of getting into trouble later. Probably the most vulnerable I've ever seen Michael in the two days I've met him. It doesn't take a hyperactive genius from D.C. to notice that this was something highly personal to him.

"Yay, Your Honor." Derric took over control of the conversation, but remained with a cheery expression. "Not only did his research speaketh of success in the creation of a new portal, but he also hath claims of trekking to other worlds." Wilkin returned to the dining hall toting another tankard of ale and a plate of bread. Paxton nodded as he grasped the tankard as Gordon's eyes danced about happily as the hot loaf of dusty mushroom bread was placed in front of him. At this point, I don't think Gordon had even touched his own tankard of ale. He just seemed to be staring at it as if he was unsure about how to drink it. It probably was the first drop of drink and first bite of food he legitimately bought with his own money. He looked over at Paxton who was about to take a sip of his own tankard when his right eye spied Gordon's glance. The old captain lowered his tankard and held it out and gave the former thief a nod. Gordon beamed brightly and clanked his vessel of alcohol against that of Paxton's as they both took a long swig of the swill. Gordon coughed but raised his tankard.

"YAY!" He cheered. I bumped my tankard of water against his in celebration to his own celebration and chuckled as we both drank. Wilkin gave out a low guffaw at the sight as well before clearing his throat and returning the subject at hand.

"Borromeo also told tales of working alongside Vahnatai…" Wilkin added as he placed the plate of bread right in front of Gordon. Without any warning or hesitation, Gordon hungrily grabbed two fistfuls of food and started gobbling upon it like a wild beast.

"…as well as gazing upon and talking with Motrax." Paxton interrupted and gave a low snarky laugh before downing more of his ale. I blinked and sat in silence for a few moments in confusion as clearly this information was completely Avernite to me. If this was meant to be a joke, I really missed the punchline.

"Ooooooookaaaaaayyyyyy?" I dragged out as I cocked an eyebrow. "Can someone give me an explanation as to why this is so funny?" Michael gave out another sigh and took off his glasses to wipe them.

"Both happenstances are greatly improbable." He began to explain as he pushed his glasses further back onto his nose. "The Vahnatai are a highly reclusive race. Little are known about them other than that their intelligence and magic greatly surpass our own. Only on rare happenstance will a Vahnatai voluntarily share their knowledge with any other race. Secondly, Motrax is a dragon that has long since died. His death was just after the Empire-Avernum War long before any of us were even alive. The tales took toll on his credibility as a respected mage. The King relieved Borromeo from his royal duties and the Tower Colony banished him and had his name stricken from all records. His tragic tale is now only known by stories passed through words of one's mouth to another." Father Michael's eyes were rather soft and sad at this point. It was very apparent that Borromeo was still someone very important to him as well as someone he still had much respect for. I began to wonder if anyone would feel that way about me when I'm an old man. But, those thoughts soon made way as I was still struggling to put the pieces of this proverbial puzzle together.

"So…what does this have to do with escaping?" I asked as I tried to move the information around in my head to get a clear picture of what was truly going on.

"Doth thou rememberest thine interrogation?" The priest asked me with a soft and gentle tone despite the subject he just chose to ask me about.

"Which one?" I countered with a slight snark in my voice. As we all knew, I had three of them yesterday. Michael arched his eyebrows down at me for a second which sent chills up my spine. His anger seemed as if it should make the top five scariest things I'd ever encounter in my lifetime. Thank goodness his glare lasted only a second before he continued.

"Thou hath speakest two words that only one other hath spoken in Avernum." A smile seemed to appear on Father Michael's face. I couldn't tell if this was a good thing or really bad. "Lands known as Earth and Peru art known not in Avernum, save for one man…Borromeo." Things now started to look like they were falling into place. If this man was able to successfully leave Avernum and somehow arrive on Earth, it would explain how a portal made its way to Peru. If there was any means of escape from here, it was probably through this guy. My eyes widened and while full of excitement, I slapped the table and stood up.

"I have to meet this man!" I proclaimed aloud. "Is he nearby? What does he look like?" The dining hall fell silent as not only the ones at my table were looking at me, but the two archers across the room were now staring at me as well. I could feel every eye in the room peering through me, well all except the mystery diner who was still drinking from a tankard and looking at the wall. I chuckled nervously and waved my hand. "Hi."

"Wilst thou sit down!?" Michael spoke through his teeth and shoved my ass down onto the hard wooden bench with his strong hands. "Thou art like a child!"

"Joe…" Paxton's voice was a bit calmer than the priest's. "…meeting with Borromeo is impossible, for he is dead." All my hopes of returning home just shattered with those words.

"Then…how is…Borromeo going to…" I stuttered and stammered trying my best to get any words out. All seemed lost all of a sudden, but a warm hand was placed on my shoulder. I looked up and Father Michael gave me a warm smile and a nod.

"Have faith, Joseph." He spoke. "Verily, all we needest art his words."

"His…words?" I thought to myself. Just what was Michael getting at with this? And how do we get his words? Almost as if he was reading my mind, the priest rolled out a scroll across the table in front of us. Actually, it wasn't a scroll, but a crude map. I looked over it and was a bit in awe at the sight of it. There were several forts and towns blotted and marked all over as well as other…um…attractions marked. "Who came up with the names of these things? Is all of this underground? What the hell are 'Giant Lands'? And just how big is this damn place?" All these thoughts ran through my head like rabbits that drank a few cases of energy drinks.

"I hath information that the last diary he inscribed hast been found." The old magician said as he pointed to his map. "If this is full truth, then the diary would be allocated at the library in Formello. Within that tome, could be secrets Borromeo held onto, including how to recreate a portal to the surface."

"Aye." Paxton nodded and folded his arms as he thought about the situation. "There be a rub, Father. His diary…would that not be a forbidden tome?"

"Yay, I concur." Derric added. "It would require special access to the Archives of the Forbidden."

"The access I doth have." Michael responded with a nod. "It is protection I ask for."

"Aye, Father." Paxton nodded again. "Reports have been shared from Fort Duvno and Fort Dranlon that sayest that bandits have been active more lately. If a vile creature such as themselves caught wind of such a tome, they would die trying to get their dirty mitts on it."

"Yay." Derric concurred yet again with his arms crossed and nodded. "Lest we forget, if the information within that tome fell into hands with dark intent, it could mean a cataclysm for Avernum of a goodly length."

"Tis why I asked the lot of thee to assemble here at this moment." Michael responded. There was a strong sense of conviction in his voice as well as a fire in his eye. "I propose a mission. Derric, Paxton, I needest thou to guard the lot of us to and from Formello and shield us from any harm that may will try to be bestowed upon us."

"As thou wishest, Your Honor." The two guards stood and bowed.

"Joseph, am I correct in assuming that thou bought protection for thine own self?" He then turned.

"You bet I did!" I held up my sheathed sword with a sense of pride. "I was also able to hire my own personal guard as well." I held my hand out like a game show host showing off a prize. In this case, the showcase was little Gordon who was happily and hungrily stuffing his face with slice after slice of bread. All the while, his feet were kicking about under the table and against the bench like a 5 year old eating a birthday cake. His content expression almost made it seem as if he was oblivious to the conversation at hand. Michael just stared and looked at Gordon then back to me. The priest then noticed Wilkin holding his wrist and shaking his head as a signal to not be fooled by Gordon's innocent appearance.

"Splendid." Michael continued the meeting as if there wasn't an interruption as if not to ask what could have happened between Gordon, Wilkin, and I. "Joseph, thee and thy…guard…will accompany the lot of us to Formello in case there are clues in thine memories to aid us our mission."

"Yes sir." I said and gave my own bow.

"Aye sir." Gordon responded with a mouthful of food and bowed respectfully. In my own bow, I noticed the map. There seemed to be a decent distance between Fort Avernum and Formello as opposed to other cities and forts on the map.

"Hold on a second!" I called out with my hands in T position as to call a 'time-out' in basketball. "Just how long is this journey gonna take?"

"A day and half, my Goodman." Michael retorted without missing a single beat. "That is if we travel by foot."

"By foot!? Why not by horse!?" I could feel my blood pressure begin to rise. This is medieval style of society, surely they have to have horses or other means of transportation here.

"A horse? What doth thou mean by a horse?" Michael rubbed his chin in thought until he remembered some of his earlier teachings. "Oh…yes. Horses do live on the surface from what tales I've been told. But horses could never survive the harsh environment here. Avernum doth travel with giant lizards from time to time." I quickly flashed back to the giant lizard climbing over the fence to eat me, its cousins trying to eat me during my kidnapping, and then eating charred lizard and nearly coughing it up immediately.

"Oh no…I…I…I'm good." I stammered nervously while shaking off these images. "By foot it is." Then there was a sudden boom as the front door burst open followed by three guards. These weren't the traditional guards that I was used to seeing around the fort. These guys were very pristine and their appearance just screamed out that they were much higher in rank. They were wearing plated armor over their entire body, minus a helmet over their head. On the metal portion guarding their left pectoral was a raised impression of a sun. Draped over their shoulders was a light blue cloak with a golden sun broach pinning the cloak together. Come to think about it, these were the same guys who had accompanied the Princess during my first interrogation. And from the looks of things, they were breathing heavily as they were running around as if in search of something.

"Hail! May I have thy attention!?" One of them called out interrupting our meeting.

"What is the meaning of this intrusion!?" Wilkin shouted back standing up and approaching the armored soldiers.

"The Princess is missing!" Another guard spoke. "Hast thou spied upon her?"

"Nay, my good lads." Captain Paxton said as he stood up and approached. "She is not among us."

"We are most sorry, fair innkeeper." The third guard spoke. "We must search throughout thy inn. I pray to thee, stand aside."

"I most certainly will not…" Wilkin barked in protest. I was guessing that Avernum doesn't have legal practices such as search warrants and due process. Before the innkeeper could speak further, there was a bang. The mystery diner pounded both fists into the table in which he or she was dining and stood up.

"Bloody Hells!" A familiar female voice hissed loudly from underneath the cloak. She turned around and flipped the hood back. "Honestly! Can not a royal lady drink in peace!" Underneath all of that raggedy clothes was the fiery red hair of the Princess. Her emerald eyes were glistening in disgust, shining brightly amongst the flushed red cheeks in contrast to her milky pale white skin.

"Your Highness!" The whole room seemed to echo as they all took a knee. Again I was about the only one left standing, mostly because I'm still adjusting to Avernite customs.

"In the bloody name of the bloody King, the lot of thee, stand up!" The Princess's words were slurring from the amount of alcohol she has been consuming and her body was very limp and loose. She flipped her hands about as she spoke unlike the typical royal posture she displayed when on 'duty'. "Honestly, the lot of thee, need to be less….well…less…" She gave a hiccup and stumbled around a bit and held up her tankard in some strange toast. "YAY!"

"Yay!" I raised my own in acknowledgement. I think I was enjoying this behavior much more than her tone when she was questioning me while I was in the prison cell. She wobbled a bit, but gave a flushed drunken smile and took another long swig, getting further tanked.

"Oi!" A guard angrily called out. "Doth not encourage this behavior in the Princess of Avernum! It is unbecoming…"

"Is it now?" She interrupted with an angry bite in her tone. "Should not a member of the royal family be amongst her peers and share in the pleasures of their life. Perchance, ye should have a drink!" She lobbed her tankard of alcohol with such force and form that it might surprise most baseball fans. The wooden mug sailed towards a guard's head. Luckily, he lifted his shield and ducked his head. Ale splattered all over from the impact as the tankard landed on the ground in a thud at the guard's feet. "Tis a beauteous hit!" The princess cheered with her hands over her head. Her drunkenness uncalibrated her balance as she literally fell over the table beside me.

"You're drunk, you know that Princess?" I said with a slight amount of sarcasm. Doing my best not to laugh at this royal's follies.

"I most certainly am…not…I most certain am!" She laughed as she tried to lie, but was too busy laughing and kicking her feet about. "I am such a bad girl. I need to be whipped!" She made the sound similar to an animal in heat and rubbed her hand against my cheek. I was in complete shock from the sudden come on that I turned as red as a beet and looked away and tried not to grin like an idiot.

"This has gone far enough, Your Highness." The guards said in unison as they grabbed her by the arms and literally began to drag and carry her. Though she was shouting several obscenities that I think would make a solider blush, she seemed to actually be in some sort of bliss of being carried over the strong shoulders of some of Avernum's finest gentlemen. As I was chuckling and waving farewell to her, Michael approached the table and shook his head as he rolled up his map.

"That would be Princess Alexandria of Avernum." He sighed as he stuffed his map into his sack. "I believest that thou hast met her while in thy prison cell, yay? She is the third in line as heir to the throne. With the thoughts that she will never be the Queen, she often feels the need to dodge her royal obligations and do what she feels like doing, without any regard to morals, etiquette, or danger to herself. Currently, her task is to be in Silvar and meet with the mayor, but in my most educated of guesses, she got word of thy arrival and took it upon herself to see thee with her own eyes. Avernite Royal Guards have been ordered to keep her within sight at all times, which is nearly an impossible mission. To most of Avernum she is Princess Alexandria, the Rebel Princess."

"She's known for this eh?" I thought aloud as I finished off my tankard of water. I turned around to see Gordon literally licking the wooden platter that the bread came on. I was disgusted to think what germs were on that thing. He might as well have licked the hole in the privy. "GORDON! Don't do that!" I shouted. He quickly jumped up from the table in complete shock from my shout.

"A thousand pardons, me Lord." He bowed and wiped his face with his wrist. Paxton and Derric both laughed heartedly at my guard's folly. Michael approached and placed his arm on my shoulder and whispered in my ear.

"Art thou positive thy guard is a good choice?" His look was of his usual concern for my wellbeing. I gave him a reassuring nod and smirk.

"Quite positive, Father. He's just…uncultured as of yet." I couldn't help but chuckle as Gordon was holding the tankard upside down and tapping the bottom to get the last drop of Avernite Ale from it.

"My good gentles, I pray to thee, gather some rest and let the lot of us meet at the statue of Hawthorne's Assassins at the eighth hour before half day." He said as he drew out his knife and held it out. "It is then that this mission will begin."

"Aye, Your Honor." Derric and Paxton acknowledged in perfect unison as they synchronized themselves with the drawing of their swords and holding it against his knife.

"Damn straight!" I said as I unsheathed my rapier and joined the bundle of the blades. Gordon quickly unbundled the dangerous end of his weapon and tapped the prongs of his trident into the mix.

"Damn…straight…" He attempted to repeat my words with some hesitation as to make sure he got it right. I really was not sure if following my example was always going to be a good idea, but I doubt anyone could steer him in the right direction anyways.

After our little pact, we withdrew our swords and then to our respected places of rest. Of course I was rooming with Gordon, who was quite comical as it has definitely been a long time since he has ever seen a bed. Watching him leap around on it like a child before immediately passing out was truly refreshing. The image really made me grateful for the things in life I had, where Gordon never really had many of the things I took for granted. My mind was wandering most of the night and I couldn't truly sleep. The excitement of a journey outside the walls of the fort and the anxiety of not being at home were mixing and swelling within my gut. I leaned against the wall and looked out the small slit of stone which served as a window for our room and just stared out at the world I'm beginning to get adjusted to. Fort guards were just roaming about to and fro. Occasionally one would add some fuel, looked like some type of fungus, to the many torches and lanterns that lined the streets. Eventually I felt my eyelids get heavy and I slumped down and began to fall asleep, most uncomfortably I should add. Despite the lack of amenity, somehow a dream began to commence within my subconscious. It was the same one as twice before while at the lab and while in the cell. I was once again standing in a grassy field in front of the same portal I fell through. I could feel the warmth of the sun kiss all over face. Oh, how I missed that feeling. A soft breeze made the blades of grass dance gently beneath me. I began to hear voices whispering to me. I couldn't make out much of what is being said as it sounded like the same voice repeating over itself several times.

"Thou art the catalyst." The voice would repeat shortly followed by another statement. "Find Parath.

"Who is Parath?" I asked aloud. I felt kind of stupid asking a question to an inanimate object, but I knew I was in a dream, so what was the harm. I asked the question once more and received more silence. Suddenly, the sky went black and the wind stood still. The portal stopped glowing and stood empty as darkness took over the surrounding area like a tidal wave. The pitch black shadows felt as if they were choking and suffocating me as I struggled to shield myself from them. Suddenly I heard breathing behind me and a low growling voice.

"I be Parath…" It said as its voice had an intense amplification to it. I turned around to see a large pair of red eyes and sharp teeth. My own fear paralyzed me as I struggled to move and get away. The mysterious monstrosity lunged forward with its fangs bared and open to swallow me whole. As I felt the slimy sensation of its slimy saliva filled orifice surround me, I awake in a terrified scream. Gordon had his hands on my shoulders and was shaking me awake.

"Me Lord!" He quietly exclaimed. "Be ye alright? Ye be having a terror." I breathed heavily for a few seconds as my eyes adjusted to the permanent dim twilight that was the norm in my new world. Gordon's big soulful eyes showed much worry. I patted his shoulder and put on a grin for his sake.

"I am alright, Gordon." I responded as I pushed myself off the floor just in time for the court bell to toll out 6 times.

"Six hours 'fore 'alf day an' all 's well!" The timekeeper called out to the denizens of the fort. While wincing from lack of comfort, I stretched my body out a bit to get some feeling back into it. Excitement once again took over my being as today begins the journey to get back home. I suddenly remembered the last note from Jennie. It was still very early for Jennie to be at work, but if I don't visit the tunnels now, I may not get to hear from her for a while. I picked up a lantern that was left in the corner of the room and signaled for Gordon to follow me. Along the way to the tunnels, I explained to Gordon about things in my world as well as Jennie and all the trouble the two of us get into as best friends. Gordon seemed to remain silent, but on his face was very clear that my stories filled him with a sense of wonder. I began to wonder that if he was going to follow me home if I can find a portal out of here.

"Me Lord, look!" Gordon called out as we had just arrived at our place of origin. The statement Jennie made about having surprises for me was a complete understatement. I raised my lantern up to get a better view of the various crates and cases that now littered the floor. We raced over to the loot and placed the lantern on the floor to light up the room a bit. With some effort we pried upon the crates to find a big bounty of supplies and luxuries. Serious thought was put into this. There was one of those heavy duty hiking backpacks that was built to withstand bear attacks and meant to hold several weeks-worth of provisions as well as a large over the shoulder duffle bag. I began tearing through the crates as if it was Christmas morning and I was a child who received a mountain of presents. Amongst the cornucopia of crates were useful wilderness provisions like rope, carabiners, a compass, headlamps, extra batteries, a few lighters, MREs, a wok, and a first aid kit. There were also a few rolls of toilet paper. It made me so excited that I had to squeeze the bathroom tissue like they were pillows. I no longer needed to wipe my ass with fungus and that was a thing of beauty. In another crate, I found a fresh change of clothes. Oh yes! I could finally get out of my dingy work clothes and put on something much more comfortable and appropriate for the cavernous climate. Just like in commercials I watched as a kid, I inhaled the spring time fresh smell of my new laundry. It was going to be wonderful to be finally not wearing something soiled and that didn't absorb the malodor of my surroundings. I even held out the pile of clothes for Gordon to get a whiff himself. He even gave it a second one as if the scent of the clothes was one of the top ten smells in his lifetime. Without any hesitation at all, I stripped every last bit of clothing and stood bare-assed naked in the stale chilled air. Probably wasn't the wisest idea, as my body instantly began to shiver as the cold of the caves started to cut into my bones like several sharp knives. With haste, I began to put on the fresh pair of underwear and thick wool socks, quickly followed by the drab and grey thermal pants and long sleeved shirt. At least now, I wasn't feeling the cold nearly as much. I then slipped on a brand new pair of blue jeans and then threw on the blue hoodie that Jennie had provided. After removing those annoying tags and stickers that new clothing has all in them, I slipped on the new pair of black sneakers and for the last touch, I belted in my sheathed rapier. I felt I was now ready to take on what Avernum has to throw at me. I looked in one last crate and found a small blanket, a small pillow, a tiny raccoon plush, a digital photographic camera, and a case with 'property of the US Government' inscribed on it. As I opened it up, I found several glass containment bottles, a few drawing pads, and several other experiment like equipment. I was kind of glad to know I still have a job waiting for me once I get my way back home. With the trusty help from my assistant, we loaded up my backpack and shoulder bag with all the provisions provided for me by my place of employment and prepared to depart to the meeting place. A little saddened to not hear from my comrade, I decided to grab the whiteboard she dropped through the portal the day before, and leave a message for her to see.

" _Thanks for everything. I hope to see you soon. Love, Joe."_ I scribbled onto the board and placed it on top of a crate. I gave Gordon a nod and with a sigh, we made our out of the tunnels towards the center of the fort where a statue of four heroes was carved and put on display in memorial. We were the first ones there again so I got time to relax and take in the sight of it. I gazed in the wonder of the craftsmanship as I did my best to decipher the letters and wording of the inscription at the base of the monument.

" _In honor of unparalleled heroics and bravery, these statues hast been constructed in the likes of the Avernites that escapeth the pit and hath slain Emperor Hawthorne so that further Avernites may no longer fear oppression of the Empire."_ Is what I believed it had said. Quite beautiful words actually. Reminds me of some of the history we learned in school as a kid. It truly must've been tough for those four as it'd have been hard living in Avernum at that time as its social structure was probably just beginning. Anyhow, I was still pretty much a tourist to these parts so it's only natural to do touristy things. I quickly grabbed Gordon and had us stand in front of the statue and told him to smile as I took a selfie with the camera. He screamed a bit as the flash from the camera hurt his eyes. I showed him the preview of that picture as he continued to freak out. I guess it'd be a bit difficult to explain a photograph to those who's never been around that technology.

"Sorcery!" He shouted in disbelief. "That is sorcery!"

"That is hardly sorcery." A female voice said in a snarky sarcastic style. "Tis more likely to be a simple trick." From out of the shadows between buildings stepped out a cloaked figure. Her solid black hooded cloak flowed behind her as an armored chest plate, made by brown lizard leather, covered and skirted over a golden long sleeved shirt and purple tights and leather boots. Most notably, she wore a decorative purple mask that covered her eyes. The look was so ridiculous I immediately burst out laughing. "What is the meaning of this laughter, ye fopdoodle!"

"Fopdoodle!? What the hell is a fopdoodle?" I responded while busting a gut in a thunderous laugh. "I can't tell what is funnier; your clothes or your choice of insults."

"Ye are not in any status to be talking about mine garments with thine being most strange…" She started erupting with anger as she scanned my body up and down, but shortly thereafter cleared throat and returned to a mysterious composure. "Thou shalt mind thy tongue, for I am Mistress Alvene, a most sought after and dangerous assassin. I have been contracted to keepest an eye on thee and thy party on thy quest to Formello." I couldn't help it, I literally fell over laughing at this point.

"You? An assassin?" Tears were streaming down my face at this point from all the laughter. "With those clothes? You look like you clawed your way out of a medieval clothes hamper. Was there a sale at a court jester bazaar recently? Good luck sneaking up and killing someone wearing those colors."

"Shut thy mouth!" Alvene the 'assassin' roared in retaliation.

"Oi!" A few voiced called out. Two armed Fort Avernum guards waved their arms in greeting as they approached. It was Derric and Paxton. Both smiling heartedly as they marched their way towards us. A few steps behind was Father Michael with his sack draped over his shoulder. They spotted Alvene as Paxton spoke up.

"Who this be, Joe?" He said as he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder. She quickly jumped back out of instinct.

"She be leaving, Captain Paxton." I answered with a bit of sarcasm.

"I am Mistress Alvene, a most sought after and dangerous assassin." She posed in some mysterious manner, reminded me of some sort of superhero wannabe. Michael put his head in his hands in disbelief while the guards joined Gordon and me in a thunderous roar of laughter.

"Surely, she jests." Paxton whooped aloud nearly bent over in laughter.

"Yay, Captain." Derric added in. "She cannot be whilst she wears those garments." Alvene's fists began to tremor in frustration and anger.

"What art thy biddings here, Mistress Alvene?" Michael said in a sigh. "We art busy and time is of the essence."

"I have been contracted to join thy party on thy…." The assassin tried to control her anger and began to speak with a style of conviction.

"I will not allow it." Michael interrupted in a sudden roar. "I know not of how thee heard about our mission, but I will not jeopardize it by allowing some make believe assassin within our ranks."

"I am also a clairvoyant and…." She started again.

"Then thou surely knowest what I am about to say…" He cut her off again and shot a seriously nasty glare. The two stared at each other for several uncomfortable seconds before he spoke again. "Make thy leave and I pray to thee, never show thy face to me or mine party again." She stomped her foot and turned around with her nose in the air.

"The lot of thee will be most sorry…" She said with a glance over her shoulder before disappearing into the shadows.

"Was that really necessary, Father. " I said as I approached. He quickly turned around and tossed a few tiny glass vials with a reddish orange liquid flowing within its confines.

"These art health potions, please keep them on thy person at all times." The priest responded somewhat miffed about the uninvited visitation from before. I held one up to the light (or lack thereof) to examine it like a specialized scientist.

"Should I even ask what this is made of?" I inquired a little nervous thinking about what molds infest this fluid.

"Mushrooms." Michael simply responded.

"Of course." I rolled my eyes and pocketed the potions within my pocket. I really hoped I'd never have to rely on chocking down these concoctions to keep myself healthy and functional. Michael cleared his throat and stood within whispering distance as he tried to not make eye contact with me as to not be suspicious.

"Joseph, what is it that thou wearest?" His voice was still very grouchy sounding. I was beginning to think that he woke up on the wrong side of the straw bed this morning. "Doth thou verily think that wearing such garments will not attract too much attention to thyself? I pray to thee to remember that Avernum knowest not of thy world and may respond with hostility by just spying at ye?"

"Don't sweat it, Father." I retorted with a confident smirk and flipped my hood up and slid my hands in the built it hand warming sleeve on the front of my sweatshirt. "Now, no one will ever know." Michael simply put his head in his hands and shook his head.

"Fret not, Your Honor." Derric said in a calming fashion. "Joe is under complete protection and hath proven himself worthy to wield the sword he possesses." Michael sighed and gripped his sack more tightly with a firm fist. "Shall we make our leave, Your Honor?"

"Yay, let us be on our way." The old magician responded as we all took up our belongings and followed him towards the north gate. We didn't get that far though. There was a small sea of familiar faces that were by the arch of the gate blocking the path, all with smiles on their faces…and Segar was there as well…not smiling of course.

"Oi ther' Joe!" Hann waved his big meaty mitt of a hand about with a semi-toothless grin.

"We all came to see ye off on thy adventure, my Goodman." Wilkin said as he took my hand, which he quickly retracted upon glancing upon Gordon. Rosa ran over and gave me a hug as well as her patented sniff.

"We have yet to fully get to know each other, but ye hast made these dark caves a little brighter upon meeting thee." She said with a sort of sultry, but sort of genuine gaze. "Bless ye soul, Joe Smith."

"That is very kind of you to say…" I started to speak, but was interrupted by a tug on my pants leg. I looked down and spotted little Sela, the one who sold me her father's rapier. I couldn't help but feel my heart warm up in the chilled air. As I knelt down a bit to be eye to eye with the young girl, she placed some sort of plant in my hair and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Normally, I'd be freaking out to have some sort of mold or fungus intentionally placed upon me, but for this little beauty, I'm willing to wear to poison ivy.

"Prithee, be safe, Sir Joe." She hugged me around my neck as I felt tears drip from her eyes onto my cheek. "Verily, I am happy to be able to spy my father's sword be a part of a splendid adventure." Admittedly, I almost teared up myself, but I hugged her in return before standing back up. A thin package wrapped in some sort of cloth was clumsily plopped in my hands by the beastmaster.

"Uh…a present..." I blinked a few times at the mystery gift by Hann. "…you shouldn't have."

"'T 's s'me liz'rd j'rky fo' th' j'rney." The big man laughed while rubbing his tummy. I nearly felt sick already remembering my first taste of Avernum's finest meat.

"…You REALLY shouldn't have." I put on a fake smile, hoping not to insult the beastmaster. I think a pissed off Hann could probably fillet and serve me in serve me as a meal in so many different ways, many of which I never want to think about again.

"Surface dweller…" A darker voice called out. I turned my head to match the cold sinister gaze of Segar.

"Hey Segar, how's that defeat feeling?" I joked knowing that it'd probably only make him grumpier than he already was. I could almost smell his intent to kill emanating from him.

"Prithee, do not die until thy return." He folded his arms and gave a slight smirk. I do not know what set me back further, the smirk, or the caring words. That was all flushed away when he continued to speak. "I want thy death on my hands and no one else's. Are we at an understanding, Surface Dweller?" His eyes felt especially cold as I could tell he was eager for a rematch if our paths should ever cross again.

"Nice talk…" I responded as I could feel shivers down my spine from his clear bloodlust towards me. Fear started to cloud my vision as I backed up and nearly over top of Derric, who was quick to catch me from doing so.

"Joe, how farest thou?" The guard said with a few pats on the back.

"I'll be okay. Shouldn't we get going…?" I said as I kept my eyes on Segar in case as if he were to try to attack me as soon as I looked away. "…and quickly?"

"Yay, let us be on our way." He responded as he began to push me forward as the greeting party waved and separated, opening a pathway to the Fort's north exit. The gate was already raised into the air and sitting within the large archway like a set of teeth within a giant mouth. A few guards even saluted us as he walked beneath the large opening.

I took my first few steps outside of the fort and into the wilderness of Avernum. And by wilderness, I mean a giant cavern with stalactites, stalagmites, darkness, colder cavern air, and sounds of giant lizards hissing in the distance. At least there was still the faint amount of light from the luminescent fungus overhead to at least provide a small amount of comfort. A short chilling breeze blew past us as we started to distance ourselves from the fort. The distant drops of water echoed more loudly as the buzz of Avernites at the fort began to fade into the background. I could hear my heart beating faster and louder within the growing silence. There were also some groups of various types of cave trees in various locations within view. I could honestly say that this was the first time I had ever been into any kind of wilderness of any nature. My hands gripped the straps of my backpack more tightly as I could feel my legs get heavier and less mobile with each step and each doubt that crossed my mind. I turned and looked back at the faint glow of torches of Fort Avernum, the origin of my adventure.

"Am I truly ready for something like this?" I asked myself quietly as anxiety had continued its stranglehold upon my soul. I could hear the footsteps of my comrades stop and then approach from behind. A few hands were placed on my person. I looked over and saw Gordon's boyish smile. His eyes beamed with confidence and excitement. Father Michael approached to my right. His eyes seemed to look back towards the fort with a gleam of conviction and resolution. Not an ounce of anxiety or fear seemed to plague the two. This gave me a small boost of courage and determination. "Yes, I am ready." I said to myself as I turned back around and soon the five of us were once again in motion as the lights of the fort had now started to fade from view.

We continued our trek towards Formello for what felt like many boring and dragged out hours. No one really said much to one another. Everyone seemed to busy keeping an eye and ear out for any dangerous and possibly random encounters. On a few occasions, Michael would direct me to pull the hood of my cloak and to cover my hands as a traveler would pass by so that my identity as the "Surface Dweller" would remain a mystery. On the other hand, I did get to see a little bit more of Avernite life. Within the permanent twilight, we passed a few clusters of farms where a few Avernites were hard at work raising livestock and crops, otherwise known as cave cows, giant lizards, and various mushrooms. As crazy as it would seem to most Earthlings like you and I, they weren't much more different than us. They merely lived with what resources were readily available around them.

"Father, do the people of Avernum ever eat anything other than Mushrooms?" I asked out of sheer curiosity. In the back of my mind, I already knew some of the answer. Other than the trees that mysteriously grow in the ground, everything else seems to be nothing but some sort of mold and fungus.

"Verily, mushrooms are indeed a large contributor to daily living in Avernum." The priest spoke aloud as if to me my own personal teacher and lecturer. "They grow abundantly in the dark. They are vital not only for sustenance, but can be used in medicines and other endeavors. There countless numbers of varieties of mushrooms, each one different in color, taste, size, and use. New mushrooms are discovered and created and farmed every age as the magical alterations made by our mages are unceasing. They hast even conjured a mushroom that can be spun into fabric stronger than most hast seen on the surface. In regards to thy inquiry, thou hast already noticed our cows art frail. They are not for eating, but their milk is still of good use. The various lizards that populate our lands sustain us with meat as well as bats and even rats."

"Rats?" I paused in my tracks at his last statement in disgust. "Ewwwww…"

"Be not disgusted, Joseph." Michael continued as he trekked further ahead. His voice did not falter as he continued his lecture. "The Nephilim race hast developed a way to cook the beasts in way most delectable."

"Sounds most delicious, Father." Gordon responded while nearly drooling all over himself at the thought of a good meal.

"You can have every bit of mine." I snarked with a twist of sass and sarcasm. Something Michael just spoke of raised another question within me. "Wait a second…you talked about races. Just how many races are down here?"

"More than one can count on one's fingers and toes, my Goodman." Michael responded without a pause. "Thou art bound to meet several on our journey, preferably the friendly ones."

"The friendly ones…" I sighed and let out a nervous chuckle. "…that's…reassuring." Just then my stomach let out a loud rumble. It had enough volume to echo throughout the entire cavern. Seemingly, all this talk about food, despite my disgust, had caused my tummy to roar in need of fuel. The whole party stopped and looked in my direction. Michael cocked an eyebrow.

"When didst thou last eat, Joseph?" He chided while adjusting his glasses with his pointer finger. The sheen from the lenses in the light of the luminescent ceiling blocked his brown pupils from view.

"I…uh…you see…I…" I stammered and struggled to come up with an answer. Paxton folded his arms and tapped his armor clad foot. While nervously fiddling with my hands in my pockets, I found the small package of jerky given to me by Hann. I grasped a piece of jerky from within and held it out for my comrades to see. "…right now! Hahaha!" The looks on their faces proved to me that they weren't buying it. I stared at the dried strip of lizard meat in despair. My last attempts at eating anything Avernite haven't been very successful. I just closed my eyes and took a big bite out of it. My eyes burst open in sheer revulsion. I choked it down and took a swig of water from my canteen in an attempt to get that nasty taste off my tongue. I handed the rest of the jerky to Gordon who nommed it happily as if it was candy. Paxton laughed thunderously and slapped me a few times on the shoulder, which caused me to spit up the water.

"My good gentle, it appears that thou hast not developed the taste for our food." The older guard said with a cheery gleam in his pale blue eyes. "I assurest thou that it will not kill thee."

"I beg to differ." I retorted while wiping the residue of water from my mouth. There was a sudden change in the air and the attitude quickly shifted from lighthearted to defensive.

"We art being followed, Your Honor." Derric spoke out while looking down the path we had been following. I looked back but saw nothing but trees and stalagmites. Michael pointed towards a large cluster of cave trees nearby and made a gesture.

"Let us go thither and make haste." He commanded. I stared at the forest of trees and saw no light within it. My feeling of anxiety and claustrophobia doubled at the sight as my body froze.

"You want us to go in there? No thanks." I protested as my body began to quake a bit.

"Captain, I pray to thee, silence Joseph and force him thither." The priest called out as he raced ahead towards the darkness.

"Aye, Your Honor." Paxton saluted and covered my mouth with his large hand and began to forcibly carry me. Instinctually, I began to struggle and gag from the absence of air. My legs kicked wildly as Paxton lifted me up and ran with me into the forest.

"Mmmmph mmmmmph!" My muffled voice cried out in protest and in vain.

"Put down me master this instant!" Gordon shouted in protest as he made chase after Paxton and me.

"Forgive me for this, my Goodman." Derric sighed and picked up the smaller Avernite in a similar hold and carried him quietly and quickly. Soon Gordon and I were released as we all were blanketed in a dense darkness. Michael held up a solitary lantern by his face so that we could see him nearby.

"I pray to thee, stay together and do not make any noise." He ordered quietly and stepped out in front of us.

"Is all of this really nec…" I began to speak as I started to tremor a bit in my sneakers at being surrounded by eerie quiet and darkness.

"Silence!" Michael snapped still in a hushed tone as he started to survey the area. I heard the buzz of flies nearby. As if I was in a horror story, I flipped on a flashlight as curiosity got the best of me. I saw two corpses resting against the tree. There was a fair amount of flesh left to cover the bloodied bones as flies and maggots had begun feasting upon it. I could tell that the decomp was still relatively fresh as there were some clothes and personal items that still remained relatively untouched. The sight alone almost made me vomit and soon the smell hit me. I placed my hands over my mouth and nose to mask myself as I fought hard not to regurgitate all over the lichen and moss on the cavern floor. The beam of my flashlight then reflected an unusual sight. A crudely built cage set upon an even more crudely built cart. The cage was rather large and was noticeably empty. Whatever it contained was of monstrous size and was on the loose somewhere and by my guesses, somewhere nearby. With seeing decomposing bodies nearby and an empty large cage within feet of each other, I began to feel uneasy.

"Father, I…" I began to stammer out.

"Silence I say!" Michael said as he examined more before calling out to the distance. "Show thyself! I knowest that thou art hither!" I walked up back closer to the group trying to avoid being near what I had found.

"Bloody hells!" A female voice called out as a lithe cloaked figure walked within the field of Michael's light. She had her hands up in surrender. It was only Alvene the self-proclaimed assassin. The party breathed a sigh of relief in audible unison.

"Mistress Alvene." The priest spoke while noticeably shaking his head in disbelief. "Might I ask thee what thou art doing trailing us?" She posed once again behind her cloak as to be dramatic and mysterious. I personally thought she only made herself look kookier.

"To guard and protect…" She began to monologue with a dramatic flair.

"I believe I hath made myself perfectly clear, my lady." Michael interrupted with a certain type of aggression to his voice. "I will not let thee jeopardize this mission. Make thy leave whilst thou still hath the ability to do so."

"But…" She stomped her foot like a child not getting her way. I couldn't help it. This was going to be a perfect opportunity for a picture of shame to treasure for my stay in Avernum. I gripped my camera and held it up.

"Alveeeene! Look over here!" I coaxed teasingly to grab her attention. Her head turned as she shouted at me.

"What doth thou want, ye fopdoodle!" She screeched. I snapped the picture as the flash lit up the entire forested area. She bent over covering her eyes and began to rub them. "Ye bastard of a whore! What hast thou done to mine eyes!?"

"Serves you right, bitch!" I laughed out loud as I looked at the picture preview. My eyes shot big with horror at what I saw behind her. A huge black rat was right behind her and it looked to be the size of a bear. It was staring at her as if she was its next meal. "Alvene! Run! There's a monster behind you!" At this moment she looked over her shoulder and saw its red eyes gazing over her. It showed its sharp and bloodstained teeth at her in a half hiss half roar. Alvene let out a shriek of horror and began to stumble her way over towards the light of Michael's lantern. The rat lunged forward and began to sprint after her. It was catching up to her quick as it reached out a paw and pulled her down by her cloak. I don't know what came over me as I found myself racing towards the big beast and its prey. I had unbuckled the sheath from my belt in mid-sprint and as the monster hissed at Alvene, I swung my arm in a wide arc and clocked it upside the jaw with my sheathed weapon with all my might. Its head was knocked to the side slightly and seemed to stun it even if it was only for a second. I grabbed Alvene and lifted her up and raced towards the group as they raced towards us. Another rat flanked from my blindspot and tackled us both over. Alvene rolled around on the ground freely as I felt an immense weight begin to crush me. The second rat, with its reddish fur, pinned me under its paw and was pulling me across the craggy surface towards it. Its growls and hisses flooded my eardrums as it was clear I was dinner to this monster. There was a sudden flash of blue as the rat tumbled over onto its side, freeing me from its grasp. Michael stood breathing slightly heavy as he had just launched some magical attack upon the rat. I sprung up onto my feet, slightly dazed and confused from the tackle, but was able to regroup with everyone as Gordon launched himself in front of me with his trident held out to defend us at all costs.

"Art thou in any pain, me lord?" My bodyguard asked while keeping his eyes on the two giant rodents. I was a little dizzy and a little winded but otherwise alright.

"I'll be fine, Gordon" I responded as I pulled the sword from the sheath. I truly didn't want bring harm to any living creature with it, but it was looking as if there wasn't going to be any choice in the matter as a third rat appeared. This particular one was smaller and was adorned with ragged brown fur. The three of them began to fan out and circle us slowly as if to come up with a plan of attack. The six of us placed our backs against each other and awaited their next move. We each gripped our weapons tight and prepared for the inevitable.

"Keep thy mind clear and thy heart strong, my gentles, for we will triumph over these beasts." Paxton spoke aloud. His face beamed with a sense of confidence that we will emerge from this encounter safely. We each couldn't help but feel a little stronger and braver because of his words. Michael moved his hands around in a flowing and weaving motion and appeared to be quietly chanting a cadence of words in a repetitive rhythm. I wasn't sure what sort of magic he was preparing, but I was quite sure it was going to be a doozie. Just then, an idea flashed into my mind as I watched the old priest prepare his defense or attack, which ever came first.

"Father, why don't you try the spell you used on me? You know the one that makes you scary?" I called out loud as if he truly needed my advice. I saw his eye gleam over his shoulder angrily which made my own skin crawl. Geez, this guy has anger that'd make the bravest guy crawl into a hole to escape it.

"Calm thyself, Joe, and doth not interrupt his concentration." Paxton interjected in a calm tone while his eyes remained focused on the circling monsters. "That spell doth have a limit to it. It can only be cast upon a living creature weak in will and fighting spirit. He hast already tried that spell from the very beginning of this battle, alas, 'twas in vain. The eyes of these beasts speakest of unfathomable hunger. They would rather die fighting than to starve." It was then I could literally see the pain in their eyes and if I was in their situation, I'd probably be just as aggressive. But, I can't just sacrifice myself or my friends to satisfy their hunger. My grip on my sword tightened as the feeling of the death approaching welled up within my throat.

"I will not die here." I thought to myself as I knew what I had to do to survive the situation. "I cannot die here. I REFUSE TO DIE HERE!" Suddenly the rats all attacked simultaneously from three different directions. Their movements came with more haste than their previous ambush. Michael's hands spouted a large ball of fire that lit up the area surrounding us. The large black rat halted and hissed at the magician for a second in recognition that the attack could prove fatal. The smaller brown rat attempted to flank Alvene and me, but the swift footed Gordon got in front of us and blocked the attack with the long handle of the trident. The red colored rat tried to flank from the other position, but was intercepted by Paxton as he slashed a wound into the right shoulder of the beast, leading him to roar aloud in pain. Gordon twisted his weapon a bit in the struggle between him and brown rat as the handle was horizontally wedged within its mouth. The rat bit down upon it and was trying to drag and push the smaller warrior about to reach any vital limbs to feast upon. Meanwhile, Michael launched his magic projectile towards the black rat. It landed just in front of it exploding into flames. The rat hissed and reared back onto its haunches. Undeterred by the scare tactic, the beast launched forward over the crackling fire and towards the magician who was ready and placed a magical forcefield in front of himself. The rat stumbled backwards dazed a bit from the attack, but proceeded to bite and claw at the bluish barrier, but all in vain. Witnessing the battles in front of me and still being unable to participate was starting to wear on my conscience. I felt I needed to do something so I began to spring forward to aid my bodyguard as he wrestled with his giant rodent.

"Nay! Shield the lady!" Gordon grunted out between his teeth as he struggled against the primal tactics of his opponent. "Find sanctuary, me lord!" My mind raced faster than my heartbeat as I looked around from the ongoing melee to find somewhere safe to place to get away with Alvene. Images and ideas flooded my head almost to the point of stopping my movement in its tracks. Derric suddenly appeared from behind a cage waving a torch.

"Hither, Joe!" He called out. I wasn't quite sure when he left the battle, but at the time I was thankful for directing us. I took Alvene by the hand as we left the battlefield. We were about halfway to Derric when I heard the roar of one of the rats. Out of the corner of my eye, Paxton had speared his opponent through the heart with the long sharp blade of his sword. He muttered something as he delivered the death blow and appeared to gesture an apology to it as it closed its eyes and took its final breath. The good news about this was that there was now one least beast, the bad news is that now the rats were furious and were now focusing their rage upon one person, Paxton. The black rat swung its tail against the magic barrier with enough force to knock the priest back over his own feet and onto the ground. With Michael stunned, his monster stormed his way to the guard. Even the brown rat had enough of Gordon's shenanigans and threw Gordon to the side along with his trident. The two beasts were nearly on top of Paxton and if I didn't do something fast he could be in some serious trouble. Suddenly, a bold idea popped into my brain and it might just work. Something Paxton said earlier rang true and there might be a solution that'll prevent further bloodshed.

"Run, Alvene!" I cried as I broke rank and grabbed a few of Avernum's finest resources, rocks, and chucked them at the pair. They successfully pelted my targets as they soon faced me. "You hungry, you overgrown sewer vermin!? Come eat me!"

"Joe, be not a fool!" Paxton called out as the rats changed trajectory and bolted towards me. "This is suicide!"

I didn't care. I reached into the front pouch of my sweatshirt and pulled out the packet of lizard jerky that Hann gave me. As they started to steam towards me like angry bulls, I tossed them some of the vilest meat I've ever tasted. Before I could launch a few more meat missiles out, the black rat had nearly tackled me and I felt its mouth surround my entire arm. I closed my eyes and winced fearing I might have just lost a limb in this plan. Sticky saliva covered my arm as its tongue swirled around it. Then its mouth pulled back, the jerky gone from my grasp, but my arm remaining intact. The brown rat was gobbling up some of the jerky on the ground. While the black rat was chewing and licking its chops on the food it nabbed from my hand. I couldn't be certain, but I think the rats' eyes seemed to change from completely feral to somewhat more passive. I tossed what was left to both of the rats as they almost nuzzled and tackled me over. Their whiskers tickling me as they nosed and sniffed around to see if I had any more edible goodies on me. I couldn't help but to break out into laughter from the sensation of their whiskers wiggling about on me. I think the sound of my chuckles among the chitter-chatter of the giant rodents put everyone else at ease as they lowered their weapons and approached us. Both rats then rose onto their haunches and sniffed the air as their ears fluttered a bit. It was only a quick glimpse, but I saw fear in their eyes as they squealed and raced off further into the forest and out of sight.

"Well done, Joe." Paxton clapped his hands and held out his hand and helped me up. Gordon had a look of concern as he checked to make sure I wasn't wounded. "Thou hast found a peaceful solution to such a dreadful problem. How remarkable thou art. Verily I say so."

"Verily, thou art a damned fool is most appropriate in these moments." Michael barked in a harsh tone and he grabbed me by my shoulders and his brown eyes glared into mine for a few seconds. I darted my eyes away to avoid the gaze. He cleared his throat and I slowly locked my eyes back onto his. "Even so, that was one of the bravest moments I hast had the privilege to spy my eyes upon. Thou saved the lot of us with minimal bloodshed. I am most proud of thee, Joseph." I saw a small smile appear on his face as he adjusted his spectacles further back onto his nose.

"Thank you, Father." I said with a slight respectful bow. A smile came back to my face as it felt great being a hero. Even better knowing I received respect and acknowledgement from a man of such great stature. Gordon stood next to me and was grinning and nodded in agreement as was Derric who regrouped with us all and gave his own nod.

"Such lizard shite." Our resident assassin interjected. "Thou art only but a fool with luck in his pathetic arse." There's always that one person who takes a perfect moment and ruins it like a fart in an elevator.

"What's that, bitch?" I responded with a certain sass and swagger. "I save your ass from being eaten alive and now I get lip from you? Perhaps I should've let the rats each you while I made some popcorn and watch them devour you slowly."

"Oh such a hero thou art." She clapped her gloved hands together. "Cannot even speak to a lady in proper respect."

"Show me a lady and I'll show her respect." I retorted. She gasped and scoffed before she raised a hand to strike me. The hand was quickly caught at the wrist by Paxton who shook his head slowly in disapproval. The prongs of Gordon's trident were placed right up against her cheek.

"I carest not in regards to thine sex." He said lowly as his eyes glared angrily and his teeth clenched together. The veins in his hands tensed and popped under his skin and he tried to restrain his rage. "Attack me master once more and I will remove thine eyes with the tips of my trident. I would feelest not remorse in the slightest from the act."

"That's my little guard dog." I thought to myself, but I placed a hand on his shoulder as a signal to get him to relax a bit. He lowered his weapon and breathed out a bit.

"Prithee, accept me apologies, me Lord." Gordon said lowly.

"With those pleasantries out in the open, and the rats gone from view, let us get the…" A type horn sounded out from the near distance and over my obscenities. It sounds like an ancient type of bullhorn that would signal a large troop. "…out…of…here…"I continued my statement slowly as we all seemed to look in all directions. If Michael, Paxton, and Gordon were on guard, the sound couldn't mean anything good.

Suddenly, there was a horrifying sound of gurgling and metal hitting the cold cavern floor. Paxton's eyes were large in shock and disbelief as he held both hands over his throat. Blood began to seep between his fingers and soon down his mouth as he fell to his knees and then onto his side. His once beautiful bluish grey eyes were now lifeless and staring out into nothingness as his body lay limp on the surface beneath him. A puddle of crimson oozed around him as we all stood in silence as the shock of the sudden death stunned us in our tracks. A faint breeze quietly blew past us all as Derric stood behind the corpse holding a crimson stained knife. His eyes still squinting and his lips still curled in the same smile he had when walking around with me around the fort. The look appeared once as genuine and friendly and now just seemed sinister. I felt my spine shiver and freeze, not only have I witnessed death, not only have I witnessed a murder, but I witnessed a psychopath kill his superior and friend and smile about it. The guard's shoulders first started to shutter a bit as a low chuckle was heard, soon he covered his face and tossed his head back in a loud and crazed cackle was heard. He then peeked at us between his fingers. His smile was more twisted and his eyes terrifying to look into.

"Aye, now this is liberation." Derric laughed to himself. "No more orders. No more subordination. I can now act freely without the fear of repercussion."

"Nay, Derric." Michael interjected his voice lowered in disgust from the actions of the once noble guard. "There will be great consequence for what thou hast done here and greater consequence beyond this life thou livest."

"Oh my dearest Father Michael of Mertis." Derric spoke lightly yet coldly as his eyes turned to the magician. "Fret not about my life when my loyal subjects have plans to bring an end to thine." As if waiting for their introductions, a great number of red eyes began to glow in the darkness. From just the sight of their eyes, I could tell they were not the return of giant rats, but something else entirely. High pitched maniacal laughter, not from Derric, echoed throughout the cavern forest as figures stepped from the shadows and revealed themselves in what lack of light we had. A small army of green skinned humanoids stepped out in crude armor and wielded poorly crafted weapons. Each one's crooked mouth snarled up into a twisted fanged smile.

"Bloody Hells…" Alvene said under her breath as she grasped a few daggers in wait for an attack. "Goblins…a goodly number of them…"

"…and Derric be their master." Gordon completed the sentence as he held his own weapon in preparation. Michael and I soon followed suit knowing yet another battle awaited before us. I gritted my teeth and kept my eyes on the one I used to think was a friend.

"Derric, how could you!?" I shouted out still in disbelief of this betrayal. "Paxton trusted you! We all trusted you!"

"The Surface Dweller speaks!" Derric guffawed and shook his head.

"Don't give me that shit, Derric." I interjected. "This isn't like you. What's going on with you?"

"Silence, now. " He wagged his finger side to side in a sassy nature and proceeded to talk. "Hast thou ever been a guard? It is a lowly profession made to attract others to do its bidding through lies and deceit. All the dreams and hopes they sold me were all for naught. I spent thousands upon thousands of moments within those fort walls doing duties that were unbecoming to my talent. As for the compensation, if it is fair to call it that, it was just enough to afford the finest ale and not much more. I sentenced myself to serve my lifetime under great incompetence for meager earnings. I was seeking for an escape from the life I fabricated. Nevertheless, an opportunity presented itself to me when I came across thy body, Surface Dweller."

"Me?" I gasped as my eyes enlarged in surprise. I shook off the abrupt feeling and fed on my anger once more. "Explain yourself!"

"I bid thee, wherefore the awe?" He chuckled and leaned himself up against a tree and folded his arms. His minions…er…goblins closed in and began to encircle us. There were at least ten of them in number for each one of us. "Doth thou thinkest thy life is not of value. The Abyss would pay a high cost for the life of breathing Surface Dweller…even more so after learning that ye are not even from Ermarian. Yay, Joe, all of this was in effort to capture thee. Thou should be honored." His sneer grew even more twisted by the second. I felt myself feel sick.

"This…was…all because of me…" I said as I fell to my knees in utter disbelief. I never would have thought I'd be such a sought after commodity.

"Fret not, Joe." Derric chuckled lowly again. "The blood of the great Captain Paxton was a flavor I have craved the taste for some time. So his death is not upon thy hands. However, if it was not for thou intervention, my plan would have been completed without the slightest hindrance and thy friends would be dead."

"The rats…" I began to put the puzzle together in my head. It was all starting to make sense. "…the goblins caged them and kept them starved. You were the one who made us believe we were being followed and led us to this exact spot. The goblins had released the beasts just prior to our arrival, where some didn't even survive their unceasing hunger. You disappeared out of range so that they wouldn't consume you when they smelt our presence. And during our struggle with the giant rats, you beckoned me over, but it was all a ruse. You'd have captured me then and there and no one would have stood in your way."

"Splendid!" Derric said while clapping his hands. "I am most impressed with thy intelligence, Joe. Even more impressed with how difficult thou art to capture. Even with me persuading Segar that thou verily were a spy from the Empire, he was unable to detain ye for any goodly length of time. Thy actions and Segar's inaction forced me to devise new plans. Ye should be very humbled, my Goodman."

"Silence, insect." Gordon interjected with a low growl in his voice. "Never call me Lord that. Never him that once more in mine presence. Ye had lost any privilege and right to speak to him as a friend after what ye hast done."

"Soullessly taking the life of thy friend and trusting comrade is wholly despicable." Alvene added as her green eyes gleamed with rage beneath the purple mask. "Thou disgusts me with my entire being, quisling."

"Be that as it may, my dear lady." Derric acknowledged coldly maintaining that snide leer on his face. "I carest not except for the price on the life of Joseph Robert Smith." Damn, the way he even said my full name made my skin crawl and still does to this day.

"I have heard enough of thy blustering, Derric." Michael burst into the conversation. His glasses and face reflected the blue flame like lights that had been ignited in his shaking fists. Though his body tremored in outrage, his voice remained cold and calm, this made him even scarier to be around. "Dost thou verily think that the lot of us will stand here defenseless whilst thou threaten our lives? I will be most displeased if I have to clean your entrails off of my habit." Derric just snickered and wagged his finger.

"Thou will touch me not, Father Michael. None of the lot of ye will." He boasted. "Joe, this will be the only chance I will give thee. Abandon all hope of resistance at this exact moment and thy life will be spared. Thy friends will perish in a death most horrifying, but thy life will be continued. Prithee, step forward with haste and my goblins will harm ye not. It is thy decision. Choose wisely." I was still resting on my knees and still lost in my own guilt knowing that the death of Paxton and the future deaths of my other allies were all because of my arrival to this world. I could not bear the thought of their demise and knowing I couldn't do anything to prevent it. I didn't want to die here. It couldn't be my time. My family and friends and all I care about were nowhere near me. No way was I going to die where my death wouldn't be mourned. I then felt the strength in my legs again and I began to stand and slowly stagger my way towards Derric. Gordon immediately grabbed my wrist with a soft look in his eyes.

"Master…" He began to plead. I didn't even look him in the eye and I pulled his grip off of me.

"I am so sorry, Gordon." I said quietly as I continued to step forward and further away from my party. With the deal placed on the proverbial table, I really was left with no other option I could consciously take. I stepped past a few of the sea of snarling sneers and smirks attached to little green bodies only to stop and stand within a few feet of where Derric remained leaning against the tree. "Derric…I've…I've made my decision." I said quietly and looked him in the eye. "KISS…MY…ASS!" I pointed my sword in his direction with a strong sense of resolve. Hell if I'd let this traitor capture me and sell me in some twisted black market. I shuddered at the mere thought of what people would do with me if I was trafficked like a high priced slave. I would rather die honorably than to be one's property. My family would just have to understand my decision to stand firm. Though my chance of survival is that of a sheep winning the Kentucky Derby, I still have a chance to survive, or at least to take a few people down with me.

"That is both disgusting and vulgar, Joe." Derric sounded disappointment with a slight frown. His frown brought a little joy to my own face as I was so glad to see that smug grin disappear. Unfortunately, his churlish sneer returned. "Thou hast left me with no other choice. Perchance, a pound of flesh and tankards of blood of a Surface Dweller will bring a high price." With that I saw the goblins squat down and begin to pounce towards me.

"Joe! Lie down!" The priest exclaimed before shouting out some magic gibberish and launching a large blue ball the blasted a few of the goblins away from me. I pushed myself up and scurried back towards the older magician.

"Me Lord, get behind me!" Gordon shouted as he charged towards me. In one acrobatic move, he spun his trident about and planted the long handle into the craggy floor and vaulted himself over top of me, only to spin the trident back around in midair and smack a few more foes around. More goblins went on the offensive, but Gordon's defense was on point as he deflected their primitive stone weapons one after the other with his own. Michael grabbed me and pulled me behind him as he made a long line of fire on the ground that frightened a few of the goblins away.

"Joseph, heed my words carefully for I have not the time to speak many of them." He said while weaving his hands a bit to generate another offensive spell. "Verily, goblins only maintain strength in great numbers. Singly they are very weak and easily defeated. Start eliminating their lot one by one and we may stand a chance to survive. Go and keep thy resolve and let us win this battle." I put on a confident smirk and gave a nod and then prepared my blade. A few goblins snarled and cackled as they made slashing motions across their neck with their own weapons.

"You want to end my life, eh? Come at me!" I felt a surge a conviction swell throughout my veins similar to my duel with Segar. I placed my hand behind my back and planted my feet into a proper fencing stance. "En garde, bitches!" They lurched forward and began swinging their stone blades at me. I kept my composure and leaned and dodged and parried them away. My feet remained light yet planted as I danced back and forth against my many foes never losing sight of my focus. Several of them tripped over their own feet as they tried to keep up with my defense. I heard some grunting to my left as Alvene found herself surrounded. She did a decent job of guarding herself with her daggers. But they were starting to overtake her. I guess the great assassin was not as great as she thought she was. One climbed onto her shoulders and pulled the hood up and over her head. I tried to stop my battle to aid her, but I had now had a few more goblins attacking me. With a few quick lunges and parries, I was able to avoid them from fully circling me from behind. I knew once they were able to get to my backside, I'd be done for. Though I was able to keep them at bay, I wasn't able to do much more and I found myself backing up from attack after attack. I took a quick glance to my right, Gordon was having the same issue as me. He was performing well at pushing the little monsters back and away from him, but couldn't truly eliminate any numbers. This was truly going to be a battle of attrition and I could feel myself starting to tire out a bit from countless numbers of jabs and swings made in my direction.

"Hold steady! I will call forth some reinforcements." I heard Michael shout out after launching another magic ball of blue light at a few goblins. Just as a few get knocked back a few more lurch forward to take their place. He made a few signs with his hands and recited an incantation. "Now, beasts I summon thee forth! Lend thy might and courage against our foes in this fight!" Suddenly three bats emerged out of thin air as if made from fairy dust or something. They didn't hesitate and began to swoop down to attack and distract our green adversaries. They squealed and shrieked like chihuahuas on helium as they now tried to fend out attacks from above. I began to overtake my opponents as some broke off in attempt to protect themselves from the attacking flying rodents. I started to strike and slash and was even successful into forcing a few weapons to the ground. This in turn led to a few fleeing from the battle. I glanced to my left once more as the bats helped clear some of the mob off of Alvene. She huffed and grunted as she struggled as goblins grabbed and groped all over. Some apparently grabbed her in inappropriate places, which only enraged her.

"Perverts!" She shrieked as she stood up in a surge of energy. Rage filled her eyes as she dropped the knives and she grabbed the one on her shoulders and head butted it. She then proceeded to kick another one in the groin, whom understandably later fell to its knees in excruciating pain. Goblins were apparently starting to get nervous around her as a few started to retreat. She snarled and grabbed another into what can only be described as some medieval form of a pro wrestling move and she threw it in my direction. I'm glad I was paying attention as I dodged the airborne monster as it sailed past me and knocked over a few of its comrades.

"Hey watch where you're throwing those!" I shouted with a raised fist.

"Watch where thou stands, gnashgab!" She shouted back as chased down and grabbed two goblins by their heads and forcibly smacked them together. I returned focus to my own struggle. Things were definitely looking up for us as one by one the goblins were either being rendered unconscious or disarmed. Gordon and Michael were fighting the good fight and were easily taking out their opponents. The battle seemed to be all but over in our favor when things began to turn sour. Stones began to shower the battlefield from behind enemy lines. I could see in the distance a few goblins perched in some of the trees with slings in their hands, sending more rocks in our direction. The bats that once changed the course of this battle were changing it once again as one by one rocks knocked them out of the air and onto the ground, to be slain by waiting goblins. Their bodies dissolved into some form of mystic dust. The goblins began to regain their footing and we were all on the defensive again. A rock hit me in my good fencing arm. Causing me to lower it a bit and grab at it. I knew I was going to have to switch hands, but that may get me killed if I take too long.

"I need help, Alvene." I called out as she was the closest ally to me at the time. She grabbed a throwing knife from her waist and threw it. It spun and spiraled in the air and the butt of the weapon bounced off of the crude helmet of one of my opposition. "Are you serious!? Are you really an assassin!?"

"Shut thy mouth!" She rebutted but was soon tackled to the ground by a mob of handsy goblins. Regardless of the ridiculousness, the 'attack' did confuse the goblin in front of me and bought me time to switch hands and I was ready to continue the fight. That was, until a rock hit me in the forehead above the eye and another hit me in the temple. Things got blurry and my legs collapsed out from under me. I could make out the boots of Gordon immediately abandoning his post to protect me. Though my vision was out of whack, I could make out my small bodyguard knocking back a few airborne rocks as if they were baseballs as well as knock back a few goblins in the process. Then there was blue surrounding us. My wits came back to me as I could feel blood pouring down my face from the stoning. I pushed myself back to my feet and the four of us had regrouped and were standing back to back as Michael put a lot of magic power into maintaining a forcefield about us. Alvene was bleeding a bit herself but had apparently had enough strength and will to stand and fight some more.

"Father, verily, this is not good." Gordon said in between breaths. The battle had apparently started to take its toll on him. He did have a few cuts on his face and hands, but no real injury. Michael himself has looking more winded than normal. I'm sure the barrage of magic he has spent in this battle was wearing him down as well and maintaining the protection spell on us had to not be an easy task on him.

"Agreed, Young Gordon." The magician nodded in acknowledgement. The goblins punched and slashed and kicked and threw rocks at the magical barrier. With each hit a flash of blue and a bigger wince on Michael's face. It was clear, he couldn't keep this spell up forever. "By my thoth, I will give my last breath…to keep us alive as long as I can. That is a solemn promise to the lot of ye." He gave a bit of a tired smile and he soon dropped to a knee.

"Father, you've got to keep fighting." I muttered as I felt a huge concern for his health.

"He is giving it all he has, wandought!" Alvene shouted.

"I wasn't talking to you, hag!" I shouted back.

"Perchance, thou can use thy tiny feeble mind to devise a plan then." She volleyed back without missing a beat. She was right, maybe I could come up with a plan. Perhaps while I was in this box, I could think outside the box and keep us all alive. Then it hit me.

"We're doing this all wrong. We're so focused on the army of goblins, we've lost sight of the one in control." I began to think aloud.

"That be Derric." Gordon answered.

"Right, if we can somehow get to him and disable him, we can end this fight." I began to stroke my chin as a plan was started to come together in my mind.

"Goblins are very cowardly creatures." Michael added while starting to breathe heavily as he endured more magic drainage from the constant attacks on the barrier. "Eliminate Derric, and they should flee from us."

"But, pr'thee me Lord, how do we get past all the goblins to get to him?" Gordon asked as he eyeballed the mob of twisted teeth and beady eyes that stared menacingly at us.

"Perchance, thou can summon that sorcery that blinded me earlier." Alvene answered. Sorcery? Wait, right before the incident with the rats, I flashed my camera and it blinded and disabled her for a few moments.

"That may just work!" I said with enthusiasm. "Alvene, I could kiss you."

"I pray to thee, not to do so." The assassin responded in disgust.

"It was an expression, buttface!" I grew embarrassed at being shut down. Not like I wanted to kiss her anyways.

"Hmph…fopdoodle!" Alvene muttered as she folded her arms in a huff.

"The distraction might allow me to run by them and get a direct route to the head of the snake." I continued with my planning. "If I threaten him or forcibly get him to surrender, this is as good as done."

"What magic I have left within my being, I will freely give to thee." Michael added. I'm not sure what all he has left in the tank, but any and all would be most useful.

"And I will help clear a path for ye, me Lord." Gordon said with a bow. I nodded and readied the flash on my camera in the pouch of my hoodie.

"Thank you all…you too, Alvene." I said as I heard the camera charge up. "On the count of three, drop the forcefield and cover your eyes. Then immediately cover my back."

"Aye!" The others chimed in unison.

"Get ready…1…2…" I readied my hands and grabbed my camera and held it out in the direction of the goblins. Gordon and Alvene held their weapons in at the ready and Michael started to stand again. "…3!" On the signal, the blue magical wall dissipated and the plan was set into motion. I held the camera up. "SAY CHEESE!" I clicked the button and the entire forest was illuminated for a few split seconds by the brightness of the tiny bulb in the camera. The goblins in the line of sight shrieked in fear and covered their eyes. The plan was indeed working and Gordon beat a few stunned goblins away. I started to charge behind him as Alvene protected my back. Michael stepped up and said a few words before shouting 'Haste' and slapping me on the rear. I yelped at the sudden spank but then felt a surge of energy course itself through my body. It was as if I drank 100 cups of coffee and the world around me began to slow down, but I remained at the same speed. What spell did the priest just cast? I was soon moving so quickly I had to leap onto of Gordon and over the living glob of goblins that were still recovering from the flash. Derric was now vulnerable in sight as I was hard charging in his direction with all I got. The trippy feeling of seeing everyone moving in slow motion only made it more difficult to keep my wits as I struggled to stay on my feet. Something wasn't right though…Derric was smiling more maniacally. What was he thinking? Wait…he started to walk away carelessly with his arms still folded…and he's walking faster that how Gordon was running. With his eyes on me, I couldn't keep my feet up to the magic speed boost that Michael gave me and I couldn't make the turn the Derric was now forcing me to do. I stumbled and tripped over my feet and soon tumbled and rolled on the ground. Adding insult to injury, Derric casually walked towards me while clapping his hands.

"Poor pathetic feeble minded Surface Dweller…" He shook his head coyly and continued to degrade me. "…verily, didst thou believe that I not expect Father Michael to cast a simple spell such as Haste?" I just laid there like a slug as my body was still struggling to deal with the magic coursing through me rapidly as well as the damage done to my body by the sudden fall. He squatted down. "I had planned on it and even learned the spell myself. It is not easy to control thy body under that spell at first. Simple tasks such as running in a curve can be so difficult. Is it not?" He pulled out his blade from its sheath and teased it against the side of my face.

"Why? Why would you willingly betray our friendship for money, Derric?" I groaned out in inquiry as the discomfort made it difficult to talk. "We had potential to be great friends."

"Friends? Verily, dost thou think I could be friends with thee?" Derric answered with a head tilt. "Surely thou jests! It was merely an act! Every smile…every friendly gesture…every word spoken was a plan to guide thee to this exact moment. And now that the moment has arrived, it is time for me to seize the opportunity. They will see what I hast done for them and I will receive the highest of praise among their ranks."

"…I'll never forgive you." I muttered under my breath and glared at him with the fires of anger burning in my eyes.

"Such a beauteous look thy eyes possess when thou art angry." Derric said coldly and pressed a blade to my cheek under my eye. "Mayhap, I will carve out thine eyes after I slay thee and earn a few extra gold coins." Derric laughed and then raised his sword in the air as if to chop my head off. Little did he know that while he was giving his fifth or sixth monologue of the day, I had gripped my sword once again. In between the heated anger and the adrenaline of facing death, I raised my sword upward in anticipation to block an attack, but I misjudged his movements as well as my own. My blade pierced through his armor and through his chest. Derric coughed up blood all over as his crimson fluids started to coat my sword to the hilt. It was as if the world completely stood silent and still as I watched him breathe heavily and fall limply as I dropped my blade. His eyes closed but his twisted smile remained as laid down to his side, succumbing to his demise. I continued to lay there in shock staring at the corpse that I had just created. My eyes danced around their sockets in horror. Did I just accidently murder someone I once call friend. I could faintly hear the chaos around me once more as there were loud high pitched shrieks and the sounds of feet running past me as the goblins fled in fear for their lives. I was still comatose; unable to see more than Derric's lifeless body in front of me.

"I…I killed him…" I muttered to myself. "I'm…a…murderer. I'm…a…murderer!"

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 5

Avernum/Fort Avernum/Formello/Ermarian created by Jeff Vogel and Spiderweb Software

Joe/Gordon/Princess Alexandria/Father Michael/Derric/Paxton/Segar/Hann/Wilkin/Wilmot/Rosa/Sela by Bravo Brokehoof


End file.
